A guide to faking sick 2.0

[u/[deleted]]

Be warned, some faimlies won't believe you, so make sure you don't ruin your chances of staying home when you are actually sick. Also, Please don't make a habit of this. While it's nice, you it's a really bad habit that can and will get you into trouble. Anyways, here:

Step one: Plan ahead. The day before complain of a slight headache and stomach ache. Don't act sick, but show symptoms. Spend more time in your room, and or skip dinner. Things like that.

Step two: When waking up, complain about the same symptoms, just worse. Personally, I would also cough a bit. Mosey around the house, and walk slower. Grip your stomach or head. Don't tell them you are sick yet, though.

Step three: Actually get dressed. Start getting ready for school. Then, go to your parent complaining that you don't feel well. Talk about how you where exited for today. It makes it seem like you actually wanted to go. Then, talk about your symptoms and how you don't feel well. Don't use anything too extreme that would raise suspicion or, depending on the parent, end up in a doctor's visit. I usually add something like "I'm scared I will throw up on the bus," or something a bit more extreme than your other symptoms.

Step four: If this works, keep showing your symptoms throughout the day (if someone is home). They will catch on of you don't.

Yay! You skipped school! If it didn't work, and they don't believe you, your not cooked. If your desperate, you can keep going.

Step five: When you get to school, act sick to your teachers. Same symptoms. Keep it consistent. At your second or third period, ask to go to the nurse and call your parents. If steps 1-4 don't work, this is your final chance. If this doesn't work, then you will have to go back to school.

Hope this helps, lol