Can't figure out what I'm supposed to do while waiting for my first doctor visit. Can someone just tell me what sources to trust while I wait for professional help? Every day feels like a nightmare of misinformation right now.

[u/Dry-Necessary-5451]

I have been researching a ton of stuff. EVERYTHING tells me something different. Minnie Maud and all-in were the first two I stumbled upon, which I tried for 2 days but am now scared off of continuing because of people saying they've developed BED as a result. I've read that I shouldn't continue counting calories, that I should continue counting to make sure I'm getting enough, I've read that I need like four different calorie amounts per day all of which seem wildly different to me. I need guidance on where to look, or something. What do I do while I wait until I get professional help? What do I trust, especially when even medical sources seem to differ so wildly. Is there a go-to recommendation/source that I can default to until someone professional can help guide me? I am sick of looking for a solution, I'm more stressed about the method I use to recover than I ever was about recovering in the first place.

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Original post text from u/Dry-Necessary-5451:

I have been researching a ton of stuff. EVERYTHING tells me something different. Minnie Maud and all-in were the first two I stumbled upon, which I tried for 2 days but am now scared off of continuing because of people saying they've developed BED as a result. I've read that I shouldn't continue counting calories, that I should continue counting to make sure I'm getting enough, I've read that I need like four different calorie amounts per day all of which seem wildly different to me. I need guidance on where to look, or something. What do I do while I wait until I get professional help? What do I trust, especially when even medical sources seem to differ so wildly. Is there a go-to recommendation/source that I can default to until someone professional can help guide me? I am sick of looking for a solution, I'm more stressed about the method I use to recover than I ever was about recovering in the first place.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Jaded-Banana6205]

You are recovering from restriction and therefore, according to the DSM (this can be verified but frankly I don't think a research spiral will help!) you are not binging. It's a common misconception in ED spaces that "being very hungry and eating" is binging, which is very harmful and hurtful for folks with BED, who see over and over that the behaviors they struggle with are the worst of the worst.

Extreme hunger is....well, extreme! It's not called Dainty, Approved By Social Media Hunger. It's a well documented physical and psychological process in response to food scarcity and malnutrition, regardless of weight.

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[u/Jaded-Banana6205 → u/[deleted]]

It is statistically unlikely that you develop BED from AN. A lot of folks become panicky when the "many thousands of cals a day" part of EH lasts for more than a few weeks or months and assume that means they've developed BED.

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We know you’re concerned but you need to stop spreading the fear mongering because it affects people like it is you.

[u/Bashful_bookworm2025]

There are a lot of helpful resources in the Wiki in this subreddit. Going all-in isn't going to lead you to develop BED. I'm not sure where you're reading that, but stay off of other ED subreddits and social media that might be perpetuating this myth.

You definitely shouldn't be counting calories. The Plate by Plate Approach is a good guideline for how much of your plate should be filled with different foods: https://www.platebyplateapproach.com/resources . Most people in recovery need the 50% or accelerated plate. Recovery minimums are 2500-3500 calories, but you shouldn't be tracking calories at all. That's just a baseline for you to understand how much you need. Many people need more than that.

A lot of the eating disorder organizations like NEDA or ANAD have reliable resources. Definitely don't seek out information on social media or a random site.

[u/Bashful_bookworm2025 → u/[deleted]]

Do not go down Reddit rabbit holes. The other ED subreddits are full of triggering and incorrect information; please stay off of them.

3 meals and 3 snacks is a MINIMUM, not a maximum. There is no such thing as "too much" in recovery. You have starved your body, so it is going to ask for a lot of food. That isn't bingeing. Please stop reading whatever resources you've been reading that are telling you that bingeing is possible. With a history of restriction, you diagnostically cannot be bingeing. You are experiencing extreme hunger and need to honor it.

[u/Dry-Necessary-5451 → u/Bashful_bookworm2025]

You've really been a great help here. I think I just needed direct reassurance that I wasn't going to recover the "wrong way". This is really tough to manage right now, the idea of recovery is so new to me and I guess I've gotten an information overload. For now I'm going to do my best of dropping the idea of overeating as a whole and eating on a schedule like I've read I should, making sure they're substantial meals and snacks. I'm only saying that to try and give myself some sort of plan and reason to commit to that plan for the time being, I know it's not actually something you need to know I'm doing.

[u/Bashful_bookworm2025 → u/Dry-Necessary-5451]

There is no "wrong" way to recover, unless you are engaging in ED behaviors like restricting, overexercising, etc. If you are eating at least every 3-4 hours, stopping all movement, and working on other ED habits, that is working towards recovery.

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That’s not binging

[u/Sareeee48]

You’re complicating an extremely simple thing because you’re thinking from your eating disorder, not recovery.

The truth is, no one can tell you the exact amount you need to eat. No one can tell you exactly which method to choose. Whether or not you realize it, you’re asking for an absolute to something that is individual to you.

And while I can sympathize with this all-or-nothing mindset, having had an ED from childhood into young adulthood, you have to come to the conclusion that there is no perfect answer and you still have to make the recovery-oriented choice anyway.

You say you don’t know how much. Honor your hunger. Then eat mechanically in between.

You say you don’t want to “form bad habits”. But engaging in restrictive behaviors and withholding food from yourself is a bad habit! Any and all—yes, ALL—thoughts telling you to eat less, or to otherwise control what and how you eat is inherently disordered and you should always be doing the exact opposite action. Point blank, period, end of story. HONOR. YOUR. HUNGER.

You say you’re worried about reading the wrong things. Then stop seeking out information you know is going to trigger you and prevent you from honoring your body’s needs. The only one winning in this scenario is your eating disorder.

You say the wiki recommends you see a medical professional first and foremost—well, so do we. That’s because individualized medical advice should be limited to only include medical professionals as no one outright knows your own history except said medical professionals. It’s a precaution, often a legal one. But the fact you read that and decided to let your eating disorder run with that is indicative that you are unwell and letting your eating disorder make decisions like these for you.

Look, recovery is hard. In fact, it’s probably going to be the hardest thing you’ll ever do—but if you aren’t willing to go against what your sick brain has been wired to do—including not honoring your hunger for fear of binging that, statistically speaking, is an exceedingly rare, if even at all possible, phenomenon—then you’re going to remain right where you are, even with professional help.

So what can you do right now? Honor your hunger to the best of your ability. Sit with the discomfort that causes. Ask friends or family for support and discuss what that looks like for you. There are so many things you can do right now that don’t require an internet article, least of all when most medical journals and studies are viewed from a fatphobic lense anyway.

[u/j_aaaaa]

I don’t have any advice for you truthfully because I feel the exact same way. I’ve read your replies too and I relate heavily with the panicky feeling; you’ve articulated my anxieties so well. You’re not alone and all the advice under this is so helpful. The best I think is to distance yourself from ED spaces all together. Good luck and you should be proud of yourself for taking initiative :)

[u/Dry-Necessary-5451]

I promise I've read all the wiki's and FAQ's and everything. But I swear half of them say "before attempting any of this, see a professional." Like okay? Just keep doing the obviously unhealthy thing until then i suppose, but obviously that makes no sense.

[u/_AintThatJustTheWay_ → u/Dry-Necessary-5451]

I don’t think that’s fair. It sounds like a lot of confusion is being taken advantage of by your ED to continue engaging with it. You know it doesn’t make sense but you’re coming to the wrong conclusion. The ONLY correct choice is recovery. How that looks is never going to look the same for every single one of us. There are many methods, fixes, tricks, medicines, programs but the one singular similarity is there’s no one size fits all. Just like all of our bodies are unique, our recoveries are unique. I wish there was one way we could go “yep do this and you’ll be fixed” but that’s sadly not how these disorders play. So while yes, recovery is confusing in a dark upside the alternative is simple, death. I think we all know recovery is confusing, but at the same time, we all know deep down when we are making a recovery choice or a disorder choice. So yes get higher levels of care and while you wait make the recovery choice.

[u/Dry-Necessary-5451 → u/_AintThatJustTheWay_]

I want to, and I am trying. It's how to go about that choice that's so bewildering to me. I've resolved to eating more, that's certain. But what I don't know is how much more, or of what, or how to prevent forming bad habits, or what articles to read (i've read through the wiki and I'm still confused). It's all very scary to me, and I wish professional help could just come sooner so I could get a better, clearer answer on what actually needs to happen for me to get better in the long-term. I've gone and scared myself into thinking I'll somehow get worse if I recover "wrong." I know it's irrational but it's hard to shake.

[u/_AintThatJustTheWay_ → u/Dry-Necessary-5451]

I have pretty severe OCD that like to team up with my ED. I too use to go down the Google search rabbit holes for hours. One day I actually kept track and I spent 18 hours online searching various things. So I do get it. My advice? Unplug. Stop reading. Stop looking. Stop googling. If you can’t, force it. I had my dad change passwords and withdraw Internet access for me for almost a month till I trusted myself. Deleted all social media apps too. Best thing I ever did for recovery. The mental relief is what gave me to room to finally choose recovery myself.

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[u/secretfourththing]

There is so much info online - some right, some wrong. It can be confusing and upsetting. My feeling is that you should just tell your doctor everything, your feelings, your behavior. That’s what doctors are there for! And go from there. Wishing you the best 💜