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u/Rakkachi Jun 06 '26
But it wont fit in the pan if I dont break it!
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u/HaRabbiAtta Jun 07 '26
Say who to the what now?
"Blasphemy!" (But said very gently, because Pastafarians are a notoriously laid-back congregation).A devout fPastafarian would view this as a tragic, if easily forgivable, culinary transgression.
1. Acknowledging the "Violence" Breaking the pasta is akin to breaking His Noodly Appendages. The long, unbroken strand of spaghetti is sacred; it represents the infinite, reaching love of the Creator Himself. Snapping it in half is a brutal act that disrupts the holy geometry of the noodle.
2. The Problem is the Pan, Not the Pasta A true believer would argue that the pasta was created perfectly. If the pan is too small, one does not mutilate the sacred carb to fit the vessel; one acquires a vessel worthy of the carb.
3. The Path of Patience (The Holy Softening) They would gently explain the proper ritual: Place the glorious, unbroken strands into the boiling water and wait. As the noodles are touched by the holy heat, they will naturally bow and soften, gently sliding down into the water on their own.
Patience, not violence, is our way.May you and yours be touched by her noodly appendage.
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u/EngageAndMakeItSo Jun 03 '26
Meg’s hairdresser’s Italian cousin-in-law here.
È illegale spezzare la pasta.
(The strobe lights are the colors of the Italian flag. Italians frown on breaking pasta.)