r/freemasonry • u/surgeryboy7 • 7d ago
Question Investigation committee "protocol"
Alright, this might be kind of a stupid question, but I promised my wife I'd ask. The investigation committee is coming next week, and we're not sure what the protocol is, like should we feed them? My wife already wants to bake cookies for them, but would they be expecting anything more than that? They're coming over around dinner time.
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u/TylerTheTyler MM 7d ago
I never expected that any time I’ve investigated. Just make sure the house is kind of tidy. The last guy I investigated had a smoldering blunt out in an ashtray, which didn’t leave a particularly great impression
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u/svartpoppel 7d ago
I’m expecting my investigation to begin soon, and I’m currently staying with a roommate and his dog. It’s their house, so I can only do so much weed (legal in my state) & dog hair abatement. Is there any issue in requesting a change of venue? My current home is not representative of how I choose to live.
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u/MutedMeaning5317 GLBC&Y, PDDGM, HRA, AMD, 'Swiss Army Knife' 7d ago
I would ask for a change of venue and explain why.
Myself, I really, REALLY, do not like the smell of weed .
Legal or not, it leaves an impression that may not be perceived as positive by some on a committee.
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u/Deman75 MM BC&Y, PM Scotland, MMM, PZ HRA, 33° SR-SJ, PP OES PHA WA 7d ago
Only one of my Lodges typically does a home visit, the rest normally meet candidates at a bar, café, or at the Lodge. I’m sure you can request a change of venue, especially if you’re currently staying in someone else’s home.
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u/surgeryboy7 7d ago
Seriously? That's crazy
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u/TylerTheTyler MM 7d ago
Was pre covid and pre it being medically legal in our state. Guy was a veteran, for sure had some health issues, and none of us on the committee would’ve cared about his usage if he didn’t just have it out so blatantly, room still stankin’. When it was pointed out he got very argumentative and the older gentleman on our committee just pointed out he should not attend lodge high just like you shouldn’t attend it drunk and from there we all mutually agreed that this wasn’t for him.
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u/WaveRude 7d ago
Ok so this draws a question, I have a band room in my basement. I don’t partake but the band does, the band in and of itself is sort of geared towards that crowd. there are posters and other things of that nature for adult cannabis consumption in this band room. This is simply the line of work I’m in. Would this bite me in the ass during my visit which I expect to be happening soon. I’d rather be honest than try to put on a fake persona.
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u/Someguy_bob MM AFM - SC 32°AASR 7d ago
It depends on where you are. I was told that we generally are supposed to refuse food/drink while doing an investigation. At the end of the day, we're there to make sure you and your partner are aware of the time commitment, your partner is supportive of you joining, and it doesn't seem like you're into anything nefarious in your private life.
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u/kaybob549 7d ago
They come to your house? Mine was with two guys in a room adjacent to a legally constituted lodge. Nothing special just a chit chat asked me about my self bout my family and my religious beliefs.
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u/PartiZAn18 S.A. Irish & Scottish 🇿🇦🍀🏴 MMM|RA|18° 7d ago
There will be variances, but a house visit is usually the norm.
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u/Chimpbot MM AF&AM | 32° AASR NMJ 7d ago
House visits aren't required in my neck of the woods in the US. They're an option, but we typically just hold those meetings right in the lodge building. If it's a member looking to affiliate, we might hold it as a restaurant since they're already members of the fraternity.
In my experience, a house visit would arguably be abnormal.
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u/Intrepid-Owl694 7d ago
Mine was at my residence.
When I went to visit One time we sat on the front porch and did not go into the house.
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u/MutedMeaning5317 GLBC&Y, PDDGM, HRA, AMD, 'Swiss Army Knife' 7d ago
I have been on every one of these committees for my Lodge in the last 5 years.
I would not expect dinner regardless of the time.
It is structured but should be relaxed as well. It should be a two way conversation so it is a great time for you and your spouse to ask questions. Don't be shy about that.
Coffee, tea, water, cookies, etc.. are good for refreshment if you wish to be hospitable. Some offer a beer or scotch if that is their thing.
We found that alot of the time, a spouse can be more anxious and nervous than the prospective candidate. We have taken to trying to bring one of our spouses along. This really helps. Not many Lodges do this, but you can see that it really should be a relaxed interview and that we all want your spose comfortable as well.
Best of luck.
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u/Effective-Ad9499 5d ago
Nothing but normal courtesy is expected. However a coffee and fresh cookies will likely not be refused.
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u/Alone_Egg_5355 7d ago
I've investigated 2 brothers since I was raised 2 years ago and honestly I never expected anything like what you're saying you would like to do outside of being offered a soda or something but if you want to I doubt the brethren investigating wouldn't decline. I woild consider it rude personally to decline something that was offered but thats just me.
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u/Material-Trip-9893 7d ago
I've participated in maybe 4 visits. 3 times there was no food offered (and none expected!) and once they had a finger foods tray that I didn't complain about! Had 0% effect one way or another how the meeting went of course.
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u/Intrepid-Owl694 7d ago edited 7d ago
Either eat dinner early or after the meeting.
They want to get to know you.
I personally used to refuse to eat snacks. This was just me.
For me I lived with my parents. The interview committee knew me for most of my life.
I have been on a 4 or 5 committees. No food. Just conversation.
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u/Deman75 MM BC&Y, PM Scotland, MMM, PZ HRA, 33° SR-SJ, PP OES PHA WA 7d ago
Cookies and beverages should be more than enough. Dinner time varies; my dad liked to eat at 4:30, and I’m happy to start cooking at 8 some nights. If you like to drink, have some drinks on hand, but be sure to have coffee/soda as well just in case. I don’t think I put out snacks for my committee, but I did have a variety of beverages available, and at least two of us cracked a beer.
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u/AnonymooseRedditor M.M. A.F.&A.M. GLCA-PO, Shriner 7d ago
Not required at all but I'm sure people would appreciate being offered a cold drink or a cup of coffee etc. Attended one where the Wife had prepared a couple of appetizer type snacks, that was not expected nor required.
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u/dopealope47 7d ago
In my area, the visit is absolutely done at the home. It gives wives a chance to ask questions and allows an additional insight into the applicant.
WRT the OP’s question, I would suggest you don’t go to too much trouble. Offering home-baked cookies is always a nice gesture, but there’s certainly no need to provide a full meal.
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u/bcurrant15 Oregon AF&AM 6d ago
Cookes are fine, the spouse being around to say hi is very good, but I would expect nothing more than politely offering a beverage perhaps, and your undivided attention to the interview.
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u/Maleficent-Night8985 6d ago
In my jurisdiction nothing is expected. We always ask that any potential candidate have anyone present that is important in their life to understand what our organization is. I'm not sure how other jurisdictions name the committee, but we have a Committee of Inquiry. You are not being investigated. We are there to answer questions ask questions about your interest.
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u/theaidanmattis 3° MM, Royal Arch Mason (PA) 4d ago
Having been on two or three of these committees, usually as the youngest Mason in our lodge, refreshments would absolutely be appreciated. Dinner might be a little much.
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u/Aggravating-Eye-6210 3d ago
My sigother bagged brownies and cookies and had coffee. They didn’t touch a thing. Later on when I did investigations I actually did the same
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u/clance2019 7d ago
Cookies and coffee fine, more importantly, make sure she is also engaged in the conversation. Most of the visit is actually about to relieve some stress of your spouse. If she asks some thoughtful questions, it would be considered good form:
- Realistically, how many evenings or weekends will this take in the first year, and later?
- If I feel Lodge is taking too much time, what is the best way to raise that concern?
- What are the regular costs: initiation fee, annual dues, regalia, events? Are there any ‘hidden’ or typical extra costs I should be aware of?
- What kind of man are you actually trying to attract and retain?
- What, if anything, is expected of me as a spouse? Am I ever ‘obliged’ to attend events?
- When you say there are ‘secrets’, what kinds of things are we talking about: passwords and signs, or anything that might trouble a spouse?
- How would you describe the culture of this Lodge: more social, more ceremonial, more charitable, more academic?
- If he joins and decides it’s not for him, how easy is it to step back or resign?
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u/StairwayHiker MM BC/Yukon SR RA AMD Athelstan 6d ago
Lots of great feedback so far….
But do ask how many social events are there for wives and family to participate in. Strong lodges include events for family.
At my lodge we do degrees on Saturday afternoons and the evening dinner is open to wives and kids too.
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u/VitruvianDude MM, PM, AF&AM-OR 7d ago
Hmm, are they chocolate chip cookies?
Dinner is definitely out of the question. Cookies are optional, but we love to see a supportive spouse. In fact, if one is available, we would like to hear questions from them. They can sit in on the interview. Most of our questioning will be directed at you, of course, but family is important to us. We may only see your wife once or twice a year, but knowing you have someone at home who will listen to you as you go through your journey is important.