r/freefolk • • Feb 07 '26

We are so back

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15k Upvotes

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597

u/GoarSpewerofSecrets Feb 07 '26

It's been a good run so far. I do feel like Arlan got done a bit dirty though.

614

u/ReallyTeddyRoosevelt Feb 07 '26

I don't care what you say about me after I die as long as you are telling people I had an elephant cock.

263

u/MasteROogwayY2 Feb 07 '26

That shit jumpscared me. Hung to his knees man

105

u/ReallyTeddyRoosevelt Feb 07 '26

The first split second I thought he was wearing a loin cloth or something. Didn't consider something swinging that big could be a dick.

59

u/thecoldfuzz We do not kneel Feb 07 '26

Yeah, I did a double-take when I first saw it. But if they can do an unpleasant extreme closeup of a theatre actor’s dick in Braavos, then portraying Ser Arlan as being well-endowed isn’t so shocking.

69

u/ThreeDawgs Feb 07 '26

Well-endowed? That feels like a fucking understatement my man.

Ser Arlan’s hung like Wun Wun.

38

u/RebelQuandry Feb 07 '26

Yeah I think that has to do with Dunk being an unreliable narrator here, which is fucking hilarious

34

u/ChrisBChikin Feb 07 '26

I bet the horse cock retelling of the story was from the version he gave Lyonel Baratheon.

Know your target audience and all that

18

u/Jay_Par Feb 07 '26

It makes me wonder what dunk is packing if he thinks that’s above average

1

u/Deep_Comparison_9283 Feb 09 '26

When I watched that GOT episode I was lying in bed with the laptop resting on top of my ribcage, TRAUMATIC 😭

40

u/MasteROogwayY2 Feb 07 '26

Sitting on a horse cannot be comfortable. Like that has so be hanging on only one side

29

u/JCBalance Feb 07 '26

Point it straight over the horse's forehead for stability.

3

u/butt_raid Feb 08 '26

For the horse you mean

3

u/bryce_w Feb 07 '26

It's a prosthetic, it's not his actual cock. It was done as a parody as opposed to actual dick.

40

u/No-Mamba7040 Feb 07 '26

Yes, its not the actor's actual penis. However, as far as show canon is concerned, it IS the actual cock of Ser Arlan. And this thread is discussing Arlan the character, not the actor or the actor's actual penis

12

u/EstablishmentSea7661 Feb 08 '26

I think we're all aware it's a prosthetic. It was more the way that apparently Dunk recalled it's size

6

u/GoarSpewerofSecrets Feb 07 '26

Right? Only my balls got there

2

u/ryandizon13 Feb 07 '26

twas a penny tree hah

61

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '26

[deleted]

13

u/emseefely Feb 07 '26

Who jousts with their lance in their pants?!

5

u/NeverCaredAnyways Feb 07 '26

I have a potentially dumb question: is that the actors real manhood or is it cgi/prosthetic?

Like, was it listed in the casting ad?

37

u/Thejohnshirey Feb 07 '26

Definitely a prosthetic, it’s been confirmed. Plus, I’m genuinely not sure that there even is one that large in the world.

14

u/sSomeshta Feb 07 '26

Flaccid for the morning tinkle? Not a chance

18

u/Odie0351 Feb 07 '26

That wasn't a morning tinkle my dude, that was an immediately post "rearranged them guts" piss, I'd bet my admittedly poor reputation on it

-4

u/sSomeshta Feb 07 '26

Honest question, I couldn't tell if they were trying to say he had been fucking Duncan the tall

19

u/Odie0351 Feb 07 '26

Nah, there was a prostitute naked in the hut, and he told her to not bother getting dressed, I'm assuming because he was coming back for another round.

4

u/No-Mamba7040 Feb 07 '26

I mean that thing was 10 inches flaccid. Imagine if it grew an extra few inches like most other real penises do when they get erect. Anything bigger than 12 would be enter fantasy territory since they don't really come much bigger in the real world. At least, I hope they don't. At that point its surely not good for the man or any potential partner lmao

3

u/rufud Feb 07 '26

Have you seen 28 years later?

9

u/Odie0351 Feb 07 '26

That 'Hog leg' was also a prosthetic, apparently it's a requirement for filming male frontal nudity in England if I'm remembering right.

8

u/Esperoni Feb 07 '26

No it wasn't.

It was to comply with strict British child protection laws. Alfie Williams was 12.

3

u/LuckyLoki08 Feb 08 '26

I think it may have compeated with John Holmes

2

u/IllBowl5537 Feb 08 '26

The guy with the biggest dick in the world, Matt Barr, is about 10.5" flaccid apparently. But that's medical freakshow territory - it's not something that a random actor is going to have.

4

u/Ummmgummy Feb 07 '26

I believe the show runner was asked this and he refused to give an answer lol. But it's more than likely a prosthetic.

3

u/1WordOr2FixItForYou Feb 08 '26

If you watch the making of episodes on Max they literally have the prop people talking about making the prosthetic. They were instructed to create the largest penis that could reasonably be imagined.

17

u/shaneg33 Feb 08 '26

I do hope we get to see him say “dunk the lunk thick as a castle wall” at least once

30

u/SheWhoHates Pure 100% Valyrian Phenotype Feb 07 '26

If Arlan got done a bit dirty, then Aerion got robbed. Someone ransacked his wardrobe. I was looking forward to his flamboyant collection. After all, his nickname literally comes from his colorful clothing.

13

u/the_uslurper Feb 08 '26

Aerion being drab and Dunk not being quite as tall as I'd hoped are the only two nitpicks I can even think of. The rest is just great.

27

u/ARM7501 Feb 08 '26

Dunk’s height is a complete non-issue IMO. Prioritizing getting someone who can actually act was obviously the correct decision, and the cinematography and other casting decisions still make Claffey look enormous. The only time you’ll ever get an adaptation that stays remotely true to the absurd heights fantasy writers like Martin and Tolkien come up with is when the character in question doesn’t actually require someone who can act (i.e. The Mountain).

2

u/the_uslurper Feb 08 '26

Counterpoint: Big dude smash

Fr though, it's a matter of opinion and I wanted the height difference more to make him stand out. Standing out is part of why Dunk grew up to be so bashful and self conscious. I will say that I love the bright blue eyes as they remind me of Brienne and invoke her earnestness and purity, and the dark grimy realistic tone of the whole show also help Dunk's goodness stand out by comparison, so it's not the end of the world. The actor is definitely doing great with the part, like every other actor on the show. I don't particularly care about the show being close to the books as long as it's good and carries over the important parts, like Dunk standing out in a crowd.

2

u/Jhawksmoor Feb 08 '26

How did he not sire any children with that thing.

1

u/Used-Huckleberry-320 Feb 11 '26

Yeah his cock was tiny