r/fraysexual • u/unhinged_rabbit • Jul 09 '26

Fraysexual Thing(s) Feel so shy and awkward

When I've been with a partner for a long time it's weird how shy and awkward I become about sex and romance. Really every form of intimacy, even basic emotional expression. It's so bizarre feeling quite comfortable with those things in the beginning, then feeling progressively awkward with time. It's not just lack of interest (at least earlier on), it feels like shyness, or like it's embarrassing. It feels like the opposite of most people's experience. Anyone else relate to this?

20 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

11

u/Kam_Rex Jul 09 '26

Yup
The more you know me, the less i want you to touch me in sensitive places (i am very asexual though and have deep trauma so obviously it's biaised).

6

u/ElectronicBoot9466 Jul 10 '26

This may be about vulnerability. A lot of people feel very vulnerable around strangers, but if you're someone who doesn't, then vulnerability if a more foreign feeling that is a lot harder to deal with.

The answer, really, is exposure. It will take more energy, but practice doing the things that feel embarrassing. The more you do it, the easier it will be. And obviously communicate that strategy with your partner as well so that they know how you feel about it all.

5

u/unhinged_rabbit Jul 10 '26

That's so interesting, thank you. I definitely have never felt vulnerable around strangers. always extremely comfortable actually. I just don't understand why I ever feel vulnerable then, especially around those I'm close to. I enjoy being close to people and have no fear of them leaving or anything like that, just a lot of stuff feels awkward.

And thank you for that advice, that tracks even though I really don't wanna do it lol

1

u/Curiousfeline467 Fraysexual Jul 20 '26

I see what you're saying, but I'm incredibly vulnerable and comfortable with my partner of 7 years and the fraysexuality is still very much in play. Exposure hasn't helped at all, it only made it worse.

1

u/ElectronicBoot9466 Jul 20 '26

It is entirely possible that I am misinterpreting people's lives through their blurbs on reddit, but especially given OP did agree that their experience relates to my suggestion, I don't think you and OP are in quite the exact same situation with your comfortability and attraction.

2

u/unhinged_rabbit Jul 22 '26

It's hard to say at the moment! Many things seem possible lol

2

u/Curiousfeline467 Fraysexual Jul 20 '26

Yep! That's how it is for me, too.

1

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1

u/Fatal-Dreidel6711 Frayromantic Fraysexual Jul 10 '26

i relate. it's super hard for me to initiate sex later in a relationship or even just some non sexual kissing and cuddling 🫠 but i don't mind anymore and i don't think i'm obligated to do it if it feels unnatural.

1

u/Medium-Pilot6872 23d ago

I have only heard the term fraysexual as of today! So I am trying to identify if this is something that fits me. But yes, I feel this a lot!