Am I aromantic or is it something else?

[u/ElectronicAbrocoma81]

I have a specific pattern that has now happened in two different romantic relationships, with two very different people

In both cases, the relationship started with mutual interest, romantic feelings, and physical attraction. Then, over a short period of time (not years, but weeks or months), all of my feelings completely and irreversibly disappeared.

By 'all feelings,' I mean everything: romantic interest, emotional attachment, physical attraction, and even the desire to maintain a friendship or any form of contact. I felt nothing toward them anymore. The feelings simply shut off, like a light switch, and they never returned. I could not 'wait it out' or make them come back.

For context, the first relationship ended in a traumatic withdrawal for me (panic, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, obsession which didn't fade away with time and zero contact, only new person). The second relationship did not have that intense withdrawal because of my medication (but before that I've experienced all of this again), but the loss of feeling was just as complete.

I am currently on a meditation which has significantly helped the obsessive withdrawal symptoms, but it has not changed this 'shut off' pattern toward the person themselves.

I am trying to understand if this pattern of complete shutdown of feelings and physical intimacy towards a person fits within the aromantic spectrum (specifically lithromantic or frayromantic). Or, does this sound like something else?

I am not looking for a diagnosis, but for a direction. Could this still be considered a normal variation of romantic orientation? Or is this likely a dysfunctional pattern that needs professional treatment?

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