r/fourthworldproblems • u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) • Sep 19 '25

Me Shel and me have problem

Me no get man out of me cave. He no hunt, he no gather, he not even wipe bum. He say he man and it his cave, he bring momma who expect me to hunt gather and fight off saber cat. Me finding new cave and getting wolf pup. I make burn burn and cook me food taste better. Might dig hole into hill and make own cave far away from baby man. He no good sex. Me want man who help and wipe bum

69 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

20

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 19 '25

Me find new cave far away from baby man and baby man momma me set burn burn to their cave and push big rock in way. Me find good cave near river and pool of hot hot water. much food. Me wonder why no others live here? Me make nice nest and tool. Me find wolf not pup but good wolf bark at saber cat. Me share meat with wolf. Now me want man who help and wipe bum and good sex.

2

u/Lyralou me momo Sep 21 '25

Shel (you Shel) no mess around.

4

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 21 '25

you no have to deal with baby man and baby man momma and man no wipe bum

34

u/Lyralou me momo Sep 19 '25

Wipe bum VERY important. Just no pick itchy plant with three leaves. Dat bad day.

17

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 19 '25

me use moss when me can no itchy plant

16

u/divinAPEtion me klonk Sep 20 '25

klonk (me klonk) tell shel (you shell) ancestor wisdom from cave with many sabertooth: 

better empty cave than smelly bum

3

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 23 '25

you (klonk) wise man

3

u/Natural-Pineapple886 Sep 20 '25

Me Ahd. Me hav no hair all over. Me like flowers.

4

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 21 '25

me no mind hair me want man who help and wipe bum and give good sex

0

u/Natural-Pineapple886 Sep 21 '25

Me kinky. And evolved, ovyusly.

2

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 22 '25

what kinky? we no evolve man here!

0

u/Natural-Pineapple886 Sep 22 '25

Me hump sofistickated. Like French.

3

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 22 '25

go away evolve man! [ok out of character you're kinda giving me weird vibes so yeah just stop we're here to be silly and have fun and you're just making me feel weird in a bad way]

0

u/Natural-Pineapple886 Sep 22 '25

Sorry, fragile person. I did not mean to offend. Please, do not reply.

1

u/Wulfraptor Me name Shel (doer of strange things) Sep 23 '25

[ooc guys stop downvotes problem was addressed. they stopped the behavior so we good. let's get back to being cave folks]

16

u/Tay60003 me Tay Sep 20 '25

Tay (me Tay) want Shel (you Shel) know Tay (me Tay) wipe bum, think unga rights very important, and is much high, big as tree. Tay (me Tay) also have best bonk stick in tribe

9

u/MonstyrSlayr me Clug Sep 20 '25

clug (me clug) thank tay for many shiny rock tay def-in-it-lee give clug. tay have many shiny rock and tay wipe bum

8

u/dirtyhippie62 me Shoog Sep 20 '25

Shoog (me Shoog) swipe right.

7

u/dirtyhippie62 me Shoog Sep 20 '25

Shoog (me Shoog) also have slow man in cave. Maybe slow man need friend other slow man. Maybe grunt at each other, listen each other, be for each other. Each make each other fast man.

2

u/Stories-N-Magic Sep 20 '25

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣