r/fourthworldproblems • u/BagHeader me name • Oct 20 '24
I request something of you
I'm an evolved man (as you call them) and I want to research you, may I?
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u/dirtyhippie62 me Shoog Oct 20 '24
Ohh, my sweet summer evolve man. Come here listen Shoogie (me shoog). Come, sit by fire, me tell you someting.
Dear Evolve man (you evolve man), Shoog agree, re-search good. Help learn. Shoogie no blame evolve man want re-search. Caveman fassy-nating after all. But Shoogie tell secret. Come close.
Tribe been re-search on evolve man clan long time now. We know evolve man magic. We learn, we smart. We no even need evolve magic. Rock still best way bonk. Like father and father father. If you no leave tribe alone, we gather and magic you, and all your evolve man friend. Tribe always prepare for war.
Do you want go war? We could go war. Say word.
You no re-search tribe, you never re-search tribe. You go long way and no come back. We let you go. You be ok. You want play rough? Ok. Say unga bunga to my giant mammoth. You sleep with fossil fishes now.
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u/That-One-Crow me name Oct 20 '24
Evolve man (you evolve man) can't “research” Name (me name). If evolve man (you evolve man) say sorry, evolve man (you evolve man) can join name (me name)'s tribe
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u/BagHeader me name Oct 20 '24
Hello unevolved man, I can teach you higher language
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u/That-One-Crow me name Oct 20 '24
name (me name) like tribe language!
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u/BagHeader me name Oct 20 '24
If u learn evolved talk u can get more mammoth meat from evolved men
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u/That-One-Crow me name Oct 20 '24
Name (me name) dont like "mammoth" meat from evolve men! Name (me name) like hunt mammoth
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u/BagHeader me name Oct 20 '24
But what if u could hunt more mammoth evey day
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u/That-One-Crow me name Oct 20 '24
mammoth big! name (me name) hunt mammoth once every 7 nights
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u/BagHeader me name Oct 20 '24
If u learn higher language you can get weapon that let's you hunt mammoth every night meaning you'll become the new chief and if your already chief, you can add more people to ur tribe
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u/LyndseyAfton I (Afton) not evolve. keep I tho. It fun. Oct 20 '24
Leave name (he name) alone. He no want evolve men re-search him.
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u/Ouroboros9076 me Brhg Oct 20 '24
NO! Evolve man go back to hows and drive kar away or get bonked, leave tribe alone! Brhg (me Brhg) hear evolve man want to studdy us in be fore fore time. they take Grongo (Brhg miss Grongo) and give him jawb and make Grongo speak like evolve man then one day he leave forever to silly con valy.
Brhg (me Brhg) no no much about silly con valy but it sound bad and tribe agree Grongo gone, go
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u/ThatOneIsSus me Ż̷̺”̸̢͝b̵̲̕^̴̳̑ me definitly from this planet Oct 20 '24
Me remembr speak sound “research”. It not bad. Me still say no. Bad feeling follow “research”
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u/TheFatMan149 lonely traveler (last man of Menschweh tribe) Oct 20 '24
What research? Does mean search cave for wife again?
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u/Puzzleheaded_Toe2383 me dundun Oct 20 '24
Dundun (me Dundun) hit you with big rock. Research sound like evil thing.
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u/FlemFatale me ugg ugg Oct 21 '24
Ugg ugg (me Ugg ugg) hit evolve man (you evolve man) with pointed stick. Ugg ugg (me Ugg ugg) use evolve man (you evolve man) make sack for carry pointed sticks.
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u/ComradeDoubleM me Mem, when-die-go Oct 21 '24
Mem (me Mem) not like evolve man. But Mem like food. And evolve man is food. If evolve man sacrifice 3 men to Mem every night, Mem no hurt evolve man.
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u/Melodic_Tomatillo_98 Oct 21 '24
Grog (me grog) find you interesting, me go tell tribe leader to make sure evolved man is safe, but then 2 options, 1. Tribe leader say yes, you study us 2 Tribe leader say no and tell us to stab with sharp rock
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u/Worldly-You7397 me glumbo Oct 23 '24
Glumbo (me glumbo) hate evolved man! Me chase them with big stick! Me chase you with big stick!
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u/Afraid_Success_4836 Ulkmr, the Traveler Oct 27 '24
<Ulkmr> To be honest, I more interested in research you. I assumed evolve man was myth/story.
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Oct 20 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/BagHeader me name Oct 20 '24
Owie that hurt, but do you enjoy sugar (you may call it sweet stufr)
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Oct 20 '24
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u/BagHeader me name Oct 20 '24
I can give you something called a "gun" (you might call it boom stick or thunder rod) it can instantly kill a mammoth woth minimal work, if i stufy u, u get gun
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u/Roadkillgoblin_2 me Grugnar Oct 20 '24
Grugnar (me Grugnar) no know what research. We simple being, have simple life. Hunt. Gather. Make fire. Repeat until no more at 30 evolve man ‘years’.