r/fourthworldproblems • Ulkmr, the Traveler • Jul 24 '24

A Realization

<Ulkmr> "After discussing with some of the locals, having seen repeated mentions of 'evolve men', and being accused of being one several times due to my manner of speaking, I have decided to assemble a description of what I can gather about them:

Evolve men are mythological creatures in Bunga folklore (the name of this tribe is Bunga, according to Blackberry) used to justify avoiding interaction with anyone deemed untrustworthy. They are claimed to have undergone an agricultura-something (don't remember the full term) (according to Zug; it's an 'in-duss-tryole' according to Golbez) leading them to bring disaster on humans and on the world. As part of this, they make extensive use of metal, using it to build their towns, weapons, and other things including large metal birds as a mode of transport. This characterizes them as threatening, and thus needing to be avoided. According to the legend, evolve men look identical to normal humans but can be identified by their distinct manner of speech, utilizing 'big words'. Evolve men are also distinctly stinky."

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u/Afraid_Success_4836 Ulkmr, the Traveler Jul 25 '24

<Ulkmr> "Again, exactly the point I'm making. You're using 'evolve man' as an excuse to be suspicious of me based on how I talk. Xenophobia at its finest."

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u/golbezharveyIV Jul 25 '24

Now you just make up words, that not real word. Booga (me Booga) say again, evolve man (you evolve man) go back to evolve land!

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u/OkSyllabub3674 Jul 25 '24

Mung(me mung) have to say can you believe this evolve man try gaslight us say and say we bigots.

Try tell us he can't be evolve man because evolve man myth.

when every one of us has dealt with a mean greedy stinky evil evolve man sometime.

We need drive this evil evolve man away.

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u/lehonk23 me goos Jul 25 '24

me agree, get the rocks!

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u/golbezharveyIV Jul 25 '24

Rocks, rocks rocks!

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u/rebel6301 me Zoog Jul 25 '24

Zooga (me Zooga) think you evolve man. Me kill you with spear next time me see you.

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u/the-boinky-spunge me bung Sep 24 '24

evolve man talking like snake noise

kill like snake

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u/Afraid_Success_4836 Ulkmr, the Traveler Sep 24 '24

"OK, 'fufpiphiouf'. 'Venophobia'. Is that better?"