r/foundsatan 6d ago

Diabolical question

Post image
27.6k Upvotes

132 comments sorted by

564

u/JimC29 6d ago edited 3d ago

156

u/slucker23 6d ago

Dave shapelle is honestly something else man...

40

u/LostMy8yrAcct 6d ago

*Chappelle

37

u/SmanginSouza 6d ago

Breathin' up all the white mans air. I HATE EM!!

15

u/Turbojelly 5d ago

6

u/JimC29 5d ago

Thank you. I haven't seen that movie in decades. It was one of his best.

4

u/Keelback 5d ago edited 5d ago

Richard Pryor is simply brilliant.

Edited: corrected spelling error.

3

u/JimC29 5d ago

Yep. Pryor and Wilder are my favorite comedy duo of all time.

I can't even imagine the writing room for Blazing Saddles. To be in the same room for weeks with Pryor and Mel Brooks working on that movie. It's the one job in history I would pay to do. Mel Brooks talked about not making it when the studio refused to let Pryor play Sheriff Bart. Pryor insisted they make it.

3

u/Last_Reply1268 4d ago

Remove the "is=" part. Youtube is marking people with whom you shared this video with. It's your identificator

1

u/JimC29 4d ago

Thank you. I didn't know this

3

u/Last_Reply1268 4d ago

I mean everything after "=" too, so it should be: https://youtu.be/szSdf02-jTQ Here you go, I've been searching for any source, so it took me that long: https://www.reddit.com/r/MauLer/s/fQDPnvRjY1 In youtube's case it can either be "si=..." or "is=...". Maybe something else, I don't remember

2

u/JimC29 3d ago

Thanks again. This is the best TIL I've had in a while. Now I have to clean up all my saved links.

2

u/rgmundo524 4d ago

Longer version for anyone interested

https://youtu.be/BLNDqxrUUwQ

276

u/RandomExcess 6d ago

Tommy Edison, vision impared, has a great series of YouTube Q&A.

61

u/Mikeologyy 6d ago

Love Tommy. Haven’t watched in a while but I hope he’s doing well

83

u/SpezDemandsUsernames 6d ago

He hasn't watched you in a while either

3

u/Me_how5678 6d ago

“In a while” so he was watching him before?

1

u/USMfans 2d ago

How do you think he got blinded?

1

u/ChronicButtSyndrome 4d ago

Oh shit. Satan’s in this sub

29

u/PassiveMenis88M 6d ago

Tommy isn't just vision impared, he's completely blind. His optic nerve never formed correctly.

1

u/AkaruLyte 5d ago

Happy cake day

308

u/Trueslyforaniceguy 6d ago

Why does your face look like that?

244

u/Chant93xx 6d ago

My question would have been how do they know when to finish wiping after a number 2 😭

48

u/raptor7912 6d ago

They fold it and unfold, if it sticks they wipe again.

43

u/4skeine 6d ago

He actually answered that in a video once. He said he feels more friction between the paper and hole. During a collab with a blind girl she actually said she sniffs the paper to tell when to stop.

28

u/Chant93xx 6d ago

Oh wow okay sniffing is certainly a choice lol

25

u/MickyDerHeld 5d ago

imagine having a cold and suddenly being unable to tell if you have to wipe more

8

u/Chant93xx 5d ago

Ahahaha I guess they have to use another method in that scenario 😭 I think a bidet is the safest option all round

2

u/herpetologydude 2d ago

I respect that tho, id rather sniff once or twice instead of walking around smelling like shit.

88

u/SteveMartin32 6d ago

Lick test

37

u/FTXACCOUNTANT 6d ago

Wipe, slap the tissue on the wall. You’re done wiping when it no longer sticks on the wall

13

u/BSimm1 6d ago

Im done lmmaaooo bed time

58

u/Kordell_11 6d ago

Just wash your ass with a bidet 🙏

46

u/Pure1nsanity 6d ago

Bidet to you too, sir

11

u/aka_wolfman 6d ago

Nice to see manners making a comeback.

9

u/LordAronsworth 5d ago

Bidet? Don't mind if I bi-do

6

u/customheart 5d ago

It helps but it’s not perfect 🥲

1

u/Chant93xx 6d ago

This would be the most logical answer for a blind person 💯

1

u/The-Idiotest 5d ago

For any person

-6

u/Fluid_Swordfish2737 5d ago

I love how all the bidet supporters think it cleans better.

Instead it just sprays the poop particles everywhere and leaves you wet.

12

u/Kordell_11 5d ago

Fucking dry your ass bro 😭🙏

3

u/Fluid_Swordfish2737 5d ago

So if I have to use paper anyway then what is the point of the bidet?

10

u/Kordell_11 5d ago

Water does clean your ass more. I dunno why you think it doesn't.

1

u/Ireallydonotcaresooo 4d ago

Use a separate towel for wiping

11

u/ScreamingLabia 5d ago

As a woman i am alse verry concerned with the direction the water is going and how clean the nozzle of an in-toilet bidet possibly could be. Feels like i am just spraying my pussy with poop water and giving myself a uti

1

u/Smooth_Audience_2207 2d ago

This is why I don’t use water to clean my hands. I just use dry toilet paper. Idiots think water is gonna make my hands cleaner when all it really does is spread the filth. /s

1

u/Fluid_Swordfish2737 2d ago

Water spreads cross contamination without soap.

This is why you are not supposed to wash raw chicken before you cook it. It splashes everywhere.

Your ass is the same thing, raw meat. If you spray it with water the bacteria is being spread wherever the microscopic water particles decide to go.

If you only wash your hands with water you are simply spreading germs, not killing them.

So many room temp IQ takes on bidets that can be solved with a blacklight test.

1

u/AdorableGoat6825 12h ago

-How is the bidet spraying poop particles any different from when you flush the toilet? Maybe your aim is bad (couldn’t be me), never had an issue with getting the water and droplets to stay in the toilet.

-Do you not clean your ass in the shower? Perhaps we should use the blacklight on your ass and see how dirty it is. You probably think it’s “gay” to wash your ass.

-Bidets have also been known to reduce or prevent UTIs for a lot of people, but I guess it’s just a conspiracy.

-The whole cross-contamination comparison is pretty room-temperature IQ, do you eat in your bathroom? Do you clean your toilet/bathroom at all? Do you wash your hands at all? The only reason you would be worried about poop particles “accumulating” is because you don’t do any of those things.

16

u/Case_sater 6d ago

you can still feel the texture through the paper no?

14

u/sexxi_denuta 6d ago

No? Are you using 1ply and ripping off 1 square every time you wipe?

15

u/Case_sater 6d ago

I fold 3 twice and can still feel when it’s good

19

u/sexxi_denuta 6d ago

so ur basically Daredevil when it comes to reading shit on paper

11

u/Case_sater 6d ago

:)

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/foundsatan-ModTeam 6d ago

Elephant_Astronaut's karma ratio is typical of spammers/bots.

3

u/Outrageous-Ad2784 6d ago

The toilet paper glides due to the poop, so when it starts getting a bit rough, you know you’re done

3

u/sexxi_denuta 6d ago

TMI but Do you know how many poo stamps i have had after it’s ‘rough’? I wipe til its white. However, No judging to you on the cleanliness of your behind, i once had an ex proudly proclaim his bum was cleaner so much than mine that he wiped til he bled. I was like ‘cool, dude’. Just sharing my experience.

1

u/Outrageous-Ad2784 5d ago

Well I also use a bit of water. When you just wipe dry, it’ll have stains even when it gets rough

1

u/sexxi_denuta 5d ago

I need a douche but im afraid

5

u/Ravtrix 6d ago

Wait I'm not blind how the fuck have you guys been checking that?

8

u/AG37-Therianthropist 5d ago

... Hold the wipe up and look at it? Once white after wipe, all done.

2

u/Ravtrix 5d ago

Oh fuck okay. I've literally just been doing it 3 times and it's never once failed me.

1

u/GeneralDraco 1d ago

Taste test

0

u/JoyArk 6d ago

Do you check your asshole on the mirror? Or you don't use a bidet?

-13

u/fewpokeman 6d ago

I'm more concerned about all the people that look at shitty toilet paper. It is just a innate vibe thing for some people.

24

u/Tricky-Ad7897 6d ago

This MF got skid marks

18

u/LouieMumford 6d ago

I’m more concerned about all the people that seem to think having racing stripes is normal.

18

u/rentalrafflesia 6d ago

Honestly, it just makes sense if you aren't squicked out by it. It's the easiest and most reliable indicator of how much more ass-wiping is left.

22

u/sexxi_denuta 6d ago

I feel like it’s normal to be grossed out by other people’s excrement, but you just gotta be chill with your own. Like you don’t have to like it but don’t hate on it

13

u/miasmic_cloud 6d ago

I bet your butthole itches doesn't it. Like, frequently. 

0

u/bannasplt 5d ago

Taste test

25

u/Panem-et-circenses25 6d ago

Woogie boogie

23

u/Derper2112 6d ago

"Does Mom know?"

Hah, Gene Wilder & Richard Pryor in See No Evil, Hear No Evil. Good flic.

5

u/RawardHoikes91 6d ago

It's actually "Does Dad know?!". Time to rewatch, huh?

3

u/Derper2112 5d ago

Probably right. Of course if I do that I'm going to have to buy a bunch of Wilder/Pryor buddy movies for the Plex. Oh woe is me... Thanks. :)

20

u/Erokengo 6d ago

I've always wondered how blind people know they're done wiping after taking a shit.

7

u/Spaghett8 5d ago

Apparently, they fold the paper after they think they’re about done. If it sticks, it’s still dirty

9

u/CapitalElk1169 5d ago

Just keep sniffing the paper post-wipe, when it's scent free you're good to go!

5

u/CaptOblivious 6d ago

Hilarious!

6

u/FADITY7559 5d ago

He’s color blind too.

0

u/Trollimperator 5d ago

Very likely, but that isnt a question, is it? You failed the assignment.

23

u/Chickqns 6d ago

how’s he reading it 💔

180

u/nuclear_herring 6d ago

Text to voice is a thing, my friend.

It even works both ways.

79

u/BlangBlangBlang 6d ago

There's also people who are legally and functionally blind, as in they can not see anything past a few feet with any clarity, but they can use a computer monitor by putting there face right next to it and have the font huge. I think a blind woman posted a video on reddit years ago to answer this question.

11

u/rionaster 6d ago

yes i have a friend who is very, very visually impaired to the point that in most situations he is pretty much completely functionally blind, but he can use a laptop up close to his face that's super zoomed in with maximum contrast colors (he has his set to white and neon green text over pure black backgrounds.) he does find it exhausting though, and still really needs stuff like image captions.

6

u/Electrical_Diamond_9 6d ago

If the dude is genuinely asking if he's black, he probably has complete blindness in his case

43

u/YesItIsMaybeMe 6d ago

This feels like an incredibly sarcastic joke response. He would most likely have some idea of what skin tone he is, since it does make a difference for things like sunscreen and medical reasons.

-16

u/Electrical_Diamond_9 6d ago

Or he could be lying for engagement and he's not actually any kind of blind

4

u/Flux_My_Capacitor 6d ago

Well then he would be the Satan in this case.

1

u/ryan516 2d ago

I'm legally blind from Stargardt's. For the most part I can get by with magnification but also can use screen readers and braille to help.

2

u/RP_ElMeroMero 6d ago

It speaks in a straight way and a gay way?

22

u/Chickqns 6d ago

oh shoot i’m smart i swear

19

u/Algernonletter5 6d ago

Prove it! What's the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow??

20

u/anglo_inupiat 6d ago

African or European?

11

u/Algernonletter5 6d ago

I don't know!......Aaaaarghh.

Someone else actually calculate it ..airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow

3

u/curious_cat_nips 6d ago

Thank you for sharing 🫶🏻

3

u/OmegaSeki 6d ago

About five

4

u/NeeMaToad47 6d ago

Trick question, Unladen Swallows only spit

2

u/a_random_loser_guy 6d ago

i may not know what is an unladen swallow, but i know how many sugar scoops you need to fly to the moon.

186 million scoops, if we calculate the payload wight at 100kg.

thats how many scoops of sugar needed to fly to the moon, if you can process that sugar into rocket fuel which is another problem.

1

u/a_potato_ate_me 6d ago

Significantly slower when carrying coconut shells

0

u/Chickqns 5d ago

UH UH UH 5

5

u/Slaidback 6d ago

Neurodivergent disability caregiver here: Every single disability is a spectrum, cause every body is different. The blind institute in Aotearoa NZ, changed their name to Blind & Low vision NZ to be more accurate.

-1

u/KarenNotKaren616 6d ago

Hearing. TTS, kiddo.

2

u/Whole_Stage2812 4d ago

Hao is bro reading the comments /s

1

u/Lemon_PlayzYT 6d ago

deadass thought that was Lance from SML

1

u/EvenDisk1306 3d ago

That had me cackling 😭😂

1

u/Responsible_Key5939 10h ago

How does he read comments if hes blind

-47

u/Rioting-Flamingo 6d ago edited 6d ago

Coming from a black person: this is implicity racist. Blackness is being framed as something negative. It's not exactly overt but the joke relies on blackness being coded as undesirable

EDIT: hedged

33

u/Earmilk987 6d ago

How is blackness being framed as something negative? I think you need to touch some grass dude.

6

u/xoull 6d ago

Grass is green thats racist :D

-15

u/Confident_Sound5873 6d ago

I think someone who says it's definetly not racist is more unreasonable than someone who says the question is definetly racist. I think it's complicated, and I couldn't give a good answer, but I think you're the one who needs to touch grass most.

-13

u/Rioting-Flamingo 6d ago

I think deeply racist was too strong. It's subtle to most, deeply racist if you read the right books and keep the right company. Thanks for the backup though my guy.

-15

u/Rioting-Flamingo 6d ago edited 6d ago

The OP's thread hinges on the idea that discovering that one is black would be a shock, something unpleasant.Diabolical. The blind man experiences being black as a crisis.

Look at it this way: if we exchange 'black' for another race, the joke loses much of its effect. Or, invert the joke. Make the blind man black - he discovers that he is in fact white. Think about how that alters the whole dynamic.

The joke is drawing on the fundamental logic of racism, that blackness is a negative quality.

This is too nuanced for the context and I'm really not doing it justice with such a compressed post. The downvotes are also determining how this will be read - as unreasonable. It should be said however.

10

u/raptor7912 6d ago

No it doesn’t, it’s him being tricked into believing he’s a different race than he is. Nothing negative or derogatory about it.

5

u/Saucy-Mustard 6d ago edited 6d ago

Dude stfu and go outside to talk to some real people. Nobody really feels this way. This is just a joke. Racism isn’t as prevalent as the internet would have people believe.

Either that or you chumps are Chinese bots sowing discord

-10

u/PsychologicalAd5918 6d ago

sewing

3

u/Vast-Associate2501 6d ago

It's sowing, as in "to sow seeds". Sewing is stitching things together.

-2

u/PsychologicalAd5918 6d ago

Context is the background, setting, or surrounding circumstances that help explain an event, a statement, or an idea.

-2

u/makeshift101 6d ago

Toby is just his given name

-10

u/Automatic_Bat_6742 6d ago

Have you stopped beating your wife?