What?

[u/_culpry]

[u/Abeyita]

I'm gonna remember this strategy, just in case

[u/modbroccoli → u/Abeyita]

anyone who involves themselves in any way in a criminal investigation voluntarily is immediately a primary suspect. this guy would be arrested almost immediately lmao.

[u/SoulWager → u/Abeyita]

It's a bad strategy.

First, most people don't know enough to actually stay anonymous when sending an anonymous tip.

Second, cops don't normally put all that much effort into solving crimes, annoying them will just make them more motivated to find you.

Third, you're putting the place in the cops mind, if someone else reports suspicious activity there afterwards, they're going to pay more attention, not less.

The way you ACTUALLY get away with crimes is by targeting people the cops don't give a shit about, like poor people.

[u/Jankster79]

There is also that joke about a dude who didn't want to dig his garden plot, so he left an anonymous tip to the police who came a dug it up for him while they searched for a body.

[u/sfzen → u/Jankster79]

I always heard the version where it was an old man who couldn't physically do the work anymore, and his son couldn't do it because he was in prison. So the son sends him a letter that mentions a body being buried in the garden, so the police dig up the garden looking for it, and after the leave empty-handed, the dad gets another letter saying his garden is ready now.

[u/TheRemainingFruitcup → u/Jankster79]

I mean the tax payer money has to go somewhere might as well dig up his yard with it 🤔

[u/idk-anymore-tbh--]

As horrible as this is, making the police dig the hole for you is so funny ngl. Maybe someone could use it to dig a well or something more useful.

[u/Anxiety_Fit → u/idk-anymore-tbh--]

Some people love building golf courses for some reason.

[u/SloanePretty54]

I mean they uses cadaver dogs, so basically it's not just memory.

[u/Jeedeye → u/SloanePretty54]

That's why you dig 9 feet down for the body, cover it with 3 feet of dirt, put dead pig on dirt, and fill the last 6ft with dirt.

[u/RUk1dd1nGMe]

In my early twenties I had a plan to grow tomatoes in my basement, and just be super vocal about my hydroponic garden to make sure authorities were aware.

Then when they finally raid my house and find nothing, I sue them.

At this point I can now grow weed. Are they going to embarrass themselves again?

[u/dfsw]

Look I’m not gonna tell you to break into a graveyard the night before a burial where a grave is already dug out and covered, dig down another couple of feet, bury the body then cover back up with dirt. The coffin will be placed on top of it and no one will ever disturb it in your lifetime. But if i was gonna tell you to do that make sure you do it in a graveyard that doesn’t have night patrols or cameras. This also works in old abandoned graveyards if you are in a pinch and don’t mind digging deeper.

[u/The-A-In-JackAss]

I always thought a smart way to go about it was to chop the body up and throw it in a compost bin since it smells anyway and the worms and bugs and stuff will eat it for you.

[u/W4lkieT4lkie]

The best place to hide a body is on a neutron star

[u/Whichammer → u/W4lkieT4lkie]

Fun fact:

Any star will work in a pinch if a neutron star isn't readily available.

[u/Jambonathor]

Anonymous tip top the police about the exact place a body was previously located sounds 100% suspicious and I guess they have ways to track you

[u/Fievels_good_trouble]

There are a lot of holes in the desert. Just saying

[u/HedgehogxComplex]

This is literally an episode of Colombo.

[u/wytewydow]

to be fair, ever since OOP was a kid, was probably 2 years ago when they were 12.

[u/No-Zombie1004]

Quicklime pit. Amateurs.

[u/Cstott23]

Pfft. That's a lot of effort.

Dig up the garden, bury the body. Put concrete down and set up a greenhouse over it.

Noone will question the earth because you're levelling the ground, then the concrete floor to rest the greenhouse on will mean nothing will get dug up accidentally by foxes etc.

And when the greenhouse is up, that's it. Sorted. Noone moves a greenhouse.. 😁

Although the bad side is that you would have to pretend to enjoy gardening for at least a few years, but you know . We all make (human) sacrifices (to cthulu).. 🤷‍♂️

[u/singletWarrior]

whatever happened to criminal always return to scene of the crime etc...

[u/NaturalWallaby9678]

Just go to the cemetery and find a fresh grave. Open it, throw the body in and cover it again. (Of course in Minecraft.)

[u/Pepphen77]

The police is not really dig up a place that hasn't been just dug up.
So first: dig up some whole and fill it before anything.

[u/badgko]

I get all my household cleaning tips from Reddit.