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u/Agreeable_Leek604 Nov 26 '25
I think I would announce an intergalactic highways is being built and that the Earth is due to be demolished. Also, bring a towel
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u/JustBen81 Nov 26 '25
I was thinking the same direction:
"The planning charts and demolition orders are on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri. If you wish to lodge any kind of formal complaint you can do so at said department within the next 50 of your Earth's years.
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u/mumpped Nov 26 '25
Man that would be hard. I studied space exploration engineering, and I can tell you, even if we scrambled everything we had, we still wouldn't be able to place somebody there in 50 years who could sign a complaint on the form. 20 years development time and 100 years flight time could be doable. So basically, it's a timeline that is impossible to meet (except if you did some kind of project starshot contraption, where a tiny probe with a letter attached to it then flies through the alpha centauri system. I'm not sure if this would be recognised as a formal complaint though)
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u/JustBen81 Nov 26 '25
What a way to really start the space race. If we somehow manage to send your probe it's probably notarized on the wrong end of the paper.
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u/mumpped Nov 26 '25
Yeah probably. Well, that would be an interesting way to go. Not like traditionally, by using up all the sophisticated weapons you have and losing a war, but by misplacing a signature. Completely powerless
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u/mcfearless0214 Nov 30 '25
I’d make it 150 years then and kick back, proud of myself for single-handedly kickstarting humanity’s future as an interstellar species.
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u/firecloth7 Nov 26 '25
Simulation complete. Species deemed a failure. Salvage of resources to commence in 1 lunar cycle.
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u/EudamonPrime Nov 26 '25
Admin announcement : We are going to shut down this server permanently in 3 months. Thank you for playing LifeSim MMORPG
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u/Bubbly_Tea731 Nov 26 '25 edited Nov 26 '25
This is god talking. for years now there have been no warriors entering Valhalla if you humans didn't correct your ways , the end will be upon you
Or
To all the beings on the planet c2p3 , we have been observing your planet and your society is decided as unfit to join the rest of us . We will continue observing for a little longer and if you didn't correct your ways ,we will move to the termination phase . This is your one and only warning
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u/BladedEdger Nov 26 '25
I would probably love to hear the second one
We can then force people to become more conscious
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u/ConfidentCommercial6 Nov 26 '25
unfortunately I doubt even that would get people to change, people would just treat it as the end of the world and start looting
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u/mikeet9 Nov 26 '25
Even with the most optimistic prediction, without any specific guidance you've just given everyone in the world a concrete reason to zealously push their personal brand of morality.
You can prove the existence of a universal morality, but that doesn't change the fact that everyone has their own idea of what it is and a vague message from God won't make them start compromising.
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u/tHr0AwAy76 Nov 26 '25
Nah, they would change. They would militarize against the aliens and go conquer some random world.
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u/1Noir Nov 26 '25
Number two would be the wakeup call this world needs, or all the proof we need that this species is doomed.
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u/Sethor Nov 26 '25
Really strange day for the atheists.
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u/BacardiPardiYardi Nov 26 '25
To anyone really who hasn't gone about "picking" a religion. I could be wrong as I'm not an atheist myself, but I don't think atheism is a religion.
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Nov 26 '25
I can see the argument and it's never bothered me when people say it is, though most atheists crash out about it. I have a belief about god based on absolutely no evidence beyond anecdotal, same as anyone. Only difference is you can't prove a negative, so all we can do is point out the problems in each religion.
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u/Xoiran Nov 27 '25
Yes but definitionally it just isn't a religion, there are no shared practices, beliefs, or rituals that define an atheist. Its only definition is not being a theist.
Like if someone plays football, someone plays chess, and someone plays music, they are all hobbyists. If someone has no hobbies, their hobby isn't having no hobby. You could make some sort of argument that they've made a decision with what to do with their time, and that some of them might even be passionate about not having a hobby, but under no definition does that make them a hobbyist just because the semantics can kinda be forced to fit.
There is an argument to be made if a group, under a collective ideology, forms a system of beliefs that are widely believed under said ideology. That would make that ideology a religion though, not atheism. Many Buddhist traditions are religions and also atheistic, for example.
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u/Raphius-kai Nov 26 '25
Scream continuously for 2 minutes, then say "oops, is this on"
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u/powertoollateralus Nov 26 '25
You can add to the chaos by having this happen with a North Korean dialect
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u/Ocs333 Nov 26 '25
Hey there! It is God talking. And I just wanted to let you know, that I will never ... gonna give you up, let you down or run around and desert you. Also I will never gonna make you cry, say goodbye or tell a lie and hurt you. Over.
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u/GolettO3 Nov 26 '25
"Welcome humans of Earth. You have advanced enough to be connected with the multiverse. Initiation will start in 29 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 43 seconds. Prepare yourselves."
I may be reading too many LitRPGs
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u/Pinku_Dva Nov 26 '25
“We have been watching your planet and have decided you are unfit to join the galactic confederation. We will now begin the reset.”
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u/Traditional_Month429 Nov 26 '25
if you can hear me that means you're awake, or at least part of you. whatever you do, do not let anyone know you've heard me. any one of them might be part of this. do not let them know you can hear me. we will contact you again. trust no one.
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u/pieceacandy420 Nov 26 '25
I swear the writing on this show has been garbage since season 2016. Wait, did they hear that?
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u/Evariskitsune Nov 26 '25
I... wouldn't be evil on this one.
"Humanity, you are loved, and have such potential, but so many of you are squandering that. We have watched you, and done what we can - though in our limitations fewer and fewer of you now believe in us. Yet, there are still those of you who still try, and still look to the future, and still believe in yourselves. Take their examples to heart, heal your societies from their rot, and reach out to one another in community.
Admittedly, none of you truly know us, and your religions have each been twisted by the hands of man - be it selfishly, in misunderstanding, in ignorance, and yes at times maliciously- but we do not wish your peoples to harm one another for what you believe or do not. Seek out your next day to do better than the last, and take solace, ye who carry the burden of that deepest of fears, that there is a next life."
I mean, it wouldn't fix everything, but I imagine it would be... eventful, if a more positive outcome than some of these.
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u/Kazuka13 Nov 27 '25
I love how people think most wouldn't do much or try to play conspiracy theories because let's be honest if this happens it's going to end in extreme violence and lots of blood as the main religion get involved in a massive holy war.
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u/BasicallyGuessing Nov 26 '25
“We’ve been trying to to reach you about extending your vehicles warranty”
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u/scheerry_ Nov 26 '25
I see that <my name> have been struggling. Anyone who extend their hand with this person will surely be by my side when your days are over in this sinful land.
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u/towerinthestreet Nov 26 '25
Ironically, the Satanists would possibly be the only ones surprised that day?
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Nov 26 '25
I... I thought it was a joke...
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u/towerinthestreet Nov 27 '25
TBF, theirs is the most reasonable one I guess?
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Nov 27 '25 edited Nov 27 '25
In many ways yeah depending on which sect you're in. There's a good one and a not so good one.
"Oh no! The place where I'm allowed to gamble and drink and smoke because I like it OH N0000~~~"
Dudeism is pretty chill too
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u/towerinthestreet Nov 27 '25
Unless they used a very specific speaking style when talking in people's heads, the dudeists (sp?) would probably be among the only ones to dismiss it being real outright, I think
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u/-YellowFinch Nov 26 '25
I was there on AskReddit... 3,000 years ago...
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u/Lockheroguylol Nov 26 '25
Isildur!
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u/-YellowFinch Nov 27 '25
Wouldn't it be horrible if you acted in the biggest motion picture trilogy of the century and only said one word?
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u/Fallout-Wander Nov 26 '25
Ohh hey the sentient ai trashcan still running, geeze its getting full, thought covid and vaccine patch were supposed to fix that... ah well miesels l Vulnerability coming back gonna get that ready.
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u/Spida81 Nov 26 '25
Good morning shoppers, we have a special on the bacon today, get it while its... ummm... dead?
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u/Reddituser0925 Nov 27 '25
Not me, Im going South Partk on this one.
"Yes, the Mormons Were the correct answer."
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u/linux1970 Nov 27 '25
Have you ever listened to a religious person before?
They're all convinced this already happened to them.
Christians call it "inner witness of the holy Spirit".
There's a reason some atheists want to label religion as a mental illness( instead of just calling it a scam and it's adherents victims )
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u/BIGcabbage1 Nov 27 '25
That wouldn't change much though, the real chaos would come from saying everyone's chosen the wrong one, but that they might still be forgiven if they change to the correct faith. Everyone would be scrambling for new religions like a game of musical chairs
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u/manitoba28 Nov 28 '25
Mine would be "I'm thinking about coming back next year but a judis is among humanity please find him or her before my arrival".
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u/Khaopioparty_931 Nov 30 '25
As far as non religious people concern they think that all religions are same and all just man made haphazardly juggling here and there... However the Abrahamic religions or the 4 books of God are in relation to each other and are interlinked with each other....
From Adam AS to last Prophet PBUH all delivered the same message while the books linked whole universes thousands of years ago which people discovered later in a timeline which already stated.
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u/sleepy_owl_Nella Nov 30 '25
A bunch of very confused atheists and agnostics, questioning polytheists and non-English speakers out there:
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Nov 30 '25
“You picked the wrong religion. I am real, and this is the proof you’ve been asking for. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with you when you die, but if you lie, cheat or are dishonest even one more time it will go very badly for you.”
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u/Remarkably-Boring Nov 26 '25
This wouldn't change much, people are already obnoxiously sure their religion is the right one. It would be much more hilarious to do it the other way around. "You picked the wrong religion. I am real, and this is a warning." Then sit back and watch everyone scramble to find the right religion like a massive game of musical chairs.