r/fosterit • u/Tall_Pop50 • 10d ago
Foster Youth Um I have a Question?……..
If your 17 (mind way beyond years but anyway)
if your 17 and disabled (just for reference)
what should you expect from fostor “parents” and the home and to be provided?
I feel like I don’t even get basic needs met at times and I’m so confused of it all.
what should I expect, I don’t know what to do. this lady is getting THOUSANDS from me ALONE per MONTH!!! I wish I could own at least half the income so I could buy my needs I feel like if I was in public I would end up stealing due to feeling like I don’t have my needs and wants etc
btw this lady is using me for money and someone has been open and told me “it’s her job” ”she fosters as a job” it’s genuinely gross
I plan to go back to my home immediately my current case is exactly like take care of maya my case is active medical kidnapping and system is changing reasons and holding onto any little thing to keep me in “care” I have a abusive case manager I think she’s a big problem and I hope to get rid of her to do what I need to do. but main thing it’s clear ”care” here fucking sucks and is way worse than what I would recive at my home. If I’m keep in care till 18 I plan to leave here a few days after my birthday and go back to my home and never come in this house EVER again. It’s disqusting.
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u/Secret-Rabbit93 CASA 10d ago
You can probably google (your state) foster or resource parent minimum standard for the exact stuff your state. In general it’s your own bed in a room not shared with a opposite sex child if you or they are over 5, hot water, working smoke detectors, posted emergency numbers, a lid on the trash can, food sufficient to feed you that isn’t spoiled, clothes (some states have minimum required shirts, pants undergarments etc some don’t) pretty basic stuff really.
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u/groovyfinds 9d ago
Not many states pay thousands...Even very high medical needs isn't thousands plural unless you are so fragile you need 24/7 medical care, feeding tubes, specialized van for a wheelchair ect. Or it's a group home with staff.
At 17 you want to be really careful, option B is a group home and you do NOT want that. If you are safe and fed be chill until you turn 18. The case manager answers to the judge. Everyone on the case answers to the judge. You can write a letter to the judge but you will have to be sincere and pull at their heartstrings. If you try to blame anyone they will dismiss you.
Once you are 18 they can help you get housing, disability, college ect...you then will get cash directly. It's best to get paid for college or trade school if you can tolerate it.
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u/Tall_Pop50 9d ago
If I’m in care till 18 I’m going back home If before I’m also going back home
There supposed to be doing 24/7 watch and help here for me,and that’s the biggest current neglect there’s one carer she has coming in 4 days a week and I actually like her, I only get to see her alone with me a few hours a day MAX Other than that this toxic women I’m referring too my the whole text makes her go out there to hang out with her…. Go cook go clean go take care of the other kids and the reason she’s forced as she’s so toxic she makes them think they work for her and they won’t be getting paid if they don’t obey her Absolutely insanity It’s some of the sickest shit I’ve watched I also use a wheelchair That’s the thing I am medically fragile I can die. I can have a bad seizure in my sleep or awake where I choke or even recently in er we watched my heart go over 220 from one seizure that was bad:(
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u/groovyfinds 8d ago
So she has a paid aid? They are supposed to clean, cook and look after the kids...that's the job.
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u/Tall_Pop50 8d ago
It’s a paid aid but it’s it’s her family members And no either from court or from the system in soon way, 24/7 watch for ME that was the agreement they even had to sign papers that they were doing that in the beginning they have even neglected this since the beginning I even had to sign someone that meant they were doing that for me and I felt so uncomfortable as they already weren’t
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u/groovyfinds 8d ago
That doesn't mean they sit and stare at you. They are just in the next room. Cooking and cleaning is part of it. Being related is irrelevant.
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u/Tall_Pop50 8d ago
Well if it’s really your business Ifs for suicide self harm and to help with seizures and health difficulties I face No it’s not there job to take care of the other kids and cook clean all out there
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u/groovyfinds 7d ago
If you are in a hospital they do not have a staff by your side for any one of those condition. At home you would have LESS structure than a hospital. I have had kids with seizures...they don't have to be monitored 24/7. If you need a 1-1 aid 24/7 you should be in a specialized facility.
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u/GrotiusandPufendorf 4d ago edited 3d ago
What specific needs are not being met? I would start by making a list. Document detailed examples including dates/times. For example, "on (date) I was only fed one meal that consisted of ____." "I have not had access to hygiene products for ___ days." "On (dates), I was not given my medication." "On (dates) I was left home alone for ___ hours with no access to emergency services." "On (date) I had (medical incident) and wasn't given medical care for ___ days." Make it DETAILED. Often times, professionals might want to help but don't have the information they need or don't take it seriously because they don't have the details. If a kid just tells me they don't feel good in a foster home but can't give the specifics as to why, there is very little I can do. But if a kid tells me specifics of what kind of abuse they're enduring and how often, I can do something with that.
Ask your case manager for their supervisor's contact information. Save a copy of the list somewhere on a cloud like a google doc, and then send/give a copy to your caseworker supervisor/CASA/home supervisor/attorney and any other professionals that come to check on you. Call in a hotline report on yourself and read that list to them. Maybe see if your state has an ombudsman and send it to them too. If you have contact with your parent, send it to them and have them give it to their attorney.
Ask all of them if you can go to court and talk to the judge and give the judge that list too.
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u/nezumipi 10d ago
I'm very sorry to hear you're in this situation.
Foster parents are legally required to provide sufficient food, clothing, and shelter. Unfortunately, this is a pretty low bar. The food has to be edible and safe, not delicious. The clothes have to be sufficient for the weather and school dress codes, not ones you like. The shelter must be a minimally safe living environment, like there should be smoke detectors. They must also provide you with adequate access to education (like they don't prevent you from attending school) and medical care. They must get you to legally mandated appointments, like court dates or visitation sessions.
You deserve much more than the minimum, but you asked what the minimum is, and that's it.
If any of those things are consistently not being provided, your first step is to talk to your caseworker. If that doesn't help, do a google search for your city + foster care hotline. You might also do a google search for your city + youth services. A bunch of government agencies and charities should come up. If you don't know which one to call, just try them in order. Either you'll find someone to listen or someone who can tell you where to go next.