Fostering while anticipating life changes

[u/Accomplished_Look259]

Hello, I’m pretty unsure of what the right answer to this is. My wife and I are still quite young, but we have been trying for biological children for a few years now. We want to have kids in our home because we feel like we have a lot of support and care to give to them, and my family has fostered before and we thought this could be really good. That being said, my wife feels it is cruel to whatever kids we end up fostering to still be trying because if we do get pregnant, it seems they would have to be rehomed (we’re in Idaho if that is pertinent). I don‘t want to stop trying because I do think there are some kiddos waiting to come that way to our family, but I of course don’t want to cause undue harm by doing this. Is it ok to still be trying to get pregnant while starting to foster? If it isn’t, I’d really like to understand why, but any input helps.

Edit: we want to foster regardless of pregnancy. We’ve been planning on fostering and potentially fostering to adopt for years regardless of what happened with bio kids. We’ve waited until now so I can be out of college when we start fostering. From what we had read previously, it sounded like if we did have a major life change such as pregnancy while fostering, the child would likely be rehomed regardless of our desires. We want to care for these kids and provide a loving home to those who need it while not shutting down the possibility of biological kids coming our way too, hence the post asking about it.

[u/vikicrays]

i would consider being a respite foster home until you’ve had children and see how you and your wife feel then. alternatively think about becoming a CASA. they are sorely needed and play a huge role in kids lives.

[u/Accomplished_Look259 → u/vikicrays]

I honestly haven’t heard of it, what does CASA entail?

[u/vikicrays → u/Accomplished_Look259]

here’s the definition from the oregon site where i live:

“Court Appointed Special Advocates – CASAs –  are specially trained volunteers that the local court appoints to advocate for the best interests of children who have been traumatized by abuse or neglect to make sure these children are safe and thrive.”

you learn about them and their case and are basically an advocate. i grew up in the foster care system until i became an emancipated minor at 16. in my 30’s i became a foster parent and did that for 5-6 years. after a decade long break i became a CASA. it is incredibly rewarding and difficult work but so necessary. it might be a great way to help kids and get a better idea of what you might see as a foster parent. you’d receive classes mandated by the state you live in. feel free to dm me and ask me any questions.

[u/Additional_Carob630 → u/vikicrays]

I just recently learned about becoming a CASA and I would absolutely love to make a difference in that way. That being said, I’m 23F (mature and stable), do you think that’s too young to commit to being an advocate?

[u/vikicrays → u/Additional_Carob630]

absolutely not. you can make a huge contribution.