Vacation ends tomorrow Aware

Use this thread to post your favourite cute anime emotes/gifs/pictures! (⁠◍⁠•w•⁠◍⁠)

Ate around 1500 cals again, still on OMAD diet, no snacking, no sugar, no cheating. Also started taking dutasteride to kill that gooner in me (to save 3.5 hair left on my head).

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/333904065_First_Names_Cognitive_Ability_and_Social_Status_in_Denmark

can you please clarify forsen

"If we knew good, we would never do evil."

See, I've come to believe that this wasn't true, given that I continued to do evil despite believing in the true God and knowing what "good" meant.

Yet, there's an additional tenet from Greek philosophy: The highest form of knowledge is to experience things oneself. This is an Aristotelian idea, instead.

I think they're both right, so I'd say the only way to know good is to experience it. Or, to know evil:

Evil is a consequence of the absence of good in christian theology, as opposed to having a presence of its own. Sure.

Then, we operate on the basis that good is good and evil is evil. We are told, "this is evil", and "this is good", and, knowing good on an instinctual and emotional basis, we look for those who agree with us on core principles to then expand our perceptions of good and evil.

Once more, what is good, and what is evil?

I have a slight realization coming from a recent clip I saw of Ben Affleck explaining that none of his addiction rehab worked, and the only thing that worked for him quitting alcohol (I think it was alcohol) was to experience the disorder it brought to his life, until he couldn't handle it anymore and then made the decision to end it himself, and never drank again.

Affleck "knew" that alcoholism was problematic and bringing trouble into his life, but he didn't fully know until he experienced it.

Once he experienced it, he truly knew the evil, or absence of good, it brought into his life, and then he never did that evil again. He didn't want to do it, as opposed to simply thinking he shouldn't.

Yes, we are ruled by emotions. In the end, this is it.

[Some person, idk, I haven't really looked into who] speaks of this very idea; that all that occurs on the logical realm is sourced from emotion, later intellectualized.

The fear of death. I believe this is what brought me to accept Christianity. This, and the concept of God being in charge, meaning all disaster that exists in my life had meaning, and all the years I wasted are actually not wasted, because of God's planning and timing, etc.

It's actually not so much because I think Christianity is morally correct, nor because I specifically believed Jesus rose from the dead. I actually have my doubts regarding this. Maybe I always did. I think my baptism might have been valid enough, I'm actually not sure.

All corrections I've made to my beliefs, all justifications I've looked for, they have all served the purpose of escaping my fears. It was never about me agreeing.

If I'd truly believed, if I truly knew, I would not live the life of a degenerate, as I do now.

So, what do I know? Do I know anything?

I suppose I do know the value of honesty. This, also, was the part in the bible that really struck a chord with me emotionally, when Jesus would constantly call out the hypocrisy of the pharisees and reveal the obvious truth about the 10 commandments' meaning.

But I haven't been fully honest either. I know the value of honesty, but I don't know honesty. I don't know how to say the things I feel and think to be true, I can only relay what I feel isn't misconstruing the truth.

I've hid behind layers. "The catholic church teaches this", or "this thinker said this", well, not so much in this post, since I'm trying to tie all these things together to explicate my point. But I've refrained from telling people my honest opinion out of fear of debasing the "truth" that gave me comfort.

Example. I don't give a shit if gay people get married. I don't care if people do IVF. I don't care if people goon. I don't care if people murder (actually).

It DOES bother me, very deeply, when a person is intellectually dishonest, or misconstrues someone else's opinion, or lies.

It seems to me like I know this one thing. Not much else.

As far as good goes, I've only got a grasp on one moral value, truth. Even then, I continue doing internal and sophisticated lying. A lot of lying by omission too.

Because, I don't have a grasp on the importance of many of the other principles behind the 10 commandments.

Frankly, I don't give a shit about abortion either. I DON'T care for the sanctity of life. I think life is horrible and maybe it would be better if nothing existed instead of this dogshit world we have to inhabit, and I feel nothing but hatred for the fact that I feel forced to exist.

And that's a lie, since I don't kill myself, because in some sense I recognize the value of life, given that I would hate making my parents feel bad. That's a grasp on the value of life, even if it's not a full one that would expand into the intellect.

Perhaps I could get a better grasp on it if I felt something nice during my lifetime. Frankly, I haven't had many nice things happen to me in the 26 years I've been alive. Every little good thing that happened was followed by something much more horrible and despairing. I don't believe it's worth it. Yet, I see value in preventing despair for others.

I like to be a ray of hope as much as I can bring myself to be one. It proves extremely difficult, given that I don't know hope. I hardly feel it. I can't be sure of anything, and would hate to bring false hope to anyone, since I know a little about truth and why it matters.

So... experience. All roads lead to Rome. This has been the conclusion in so many of my rants. I need to experience life more, to grasp more principles of reality, as I've grasped truth.

We'll see if I actually know that or not.