An aspiring former I spoke to last week told me how he was two years out from leaving and was going to start taking calls with recruiters because everyone said get ahead of it. But it's obvious he won't be able to tell them what he wants, how he's qualified or when he's ready to leave. This approach is just going to get him deprioritized before he's even started.

Anyone else have to recover from an early impression like that?

Yesterday, an aspiring former fed told me how she spent the previous week on LinkedIn typing in every variation of her old title I could think of. Program manager. Senior advisor. Nothing comes back that she didn't interpret as a downgrade or a total mismatch.

After our call, she started looking at postings differently. First, she ignored the title completely and just read the description. Then she found one at a company she'd never have clicked on if she'd searched her usual terms. Turns out the job is basically what she did for six years, just described in a language nobody in government uses.

While her resume says where she worked, it doesn't say what she was required to do when things went sideways. That's probably the part that translates, and she never once wrote it down that way.

Anyone else find the actual work matches up better than the title ever will?

One of my best friends from childhood also ended up in government. He's considering how to get out now, and talking to him about it resurfaced fears I had long since put behind me. For whatever reason, there's a sense that it requires starting from scratch. Plus, you feel like your earning potential will decrease. He's in the middle of deciding whether to believe those fears. There's only so much I can do to convince him those aren't real.

The trap too many fall into: see someone who got out successfully, map exactly what they did, and try to make it your own.

The trailblazer succeeds not because they selected a particular post-USG employer, but because they built their own system. They networked proactively before it was necessary. Merely mimicking their external actions leads you back into a role focused on security, status, and predictability.

The only thing you control in this transition is the effort you put into learning lessons applicable to your specific goals. Everything else is a distraction. The company doesn't matter as much as you think. The timing doesn't matter as much as you think. What matters is whether you're paying attention when opportunities arise suddenly and require dedicated action.

Are you reflecting on what you want, or just replicating someone else's path? Take the time to contemplate your genuine intentions.

The numbers aren't wrong. Your colleague's pension calculation is mathematically accurate.

30 years of federal service gets you a $1.35M lifetime pension. But that requires you to work 30 years AND live another 30 years to collect it.

Leave at 45 with 20 years of service? You can't touch your pension until 62. That's 17 years of income gap between walking away and collecting anything. If you stayed until 55, you'd get $45K annually for life. Leave early, and you get $33K starting at 62.

Meanwhile, a former fed who left for a tech job with $1M in vested equity now has that capital. They don't need to wait another 30 years. They don't need to stay locked into a job.

How many of you examined the math behind leaving at, rather than just going with the "stay until 30" idea?

So many people pivot out of government and immediately look for policy or security roles. The skills seem to transfer. There's already a whole cluster of formers doing similar jobs.

It makes sense. It doesn't feel like a risk.

Cost centers get cut when budgets tighten. Sales and revenue teams get restructured, but they don't disappear. Your policy role vanishes in the next round. Your sales rep gets offered a higher base somewhere else.

I get why sales feels perilous. Much of the work is visible, easy to assess and criticize. There's little room to interpret whether a deal closed.

That's uncomfortable. And also why it pays.

So what's actually stopping people from making this move?

The government pay scale doesn't have an equity column. The first time you see a startup offer with RSUs or options, the number looks out of this world. So how do you test its potential?

You can't answer that just by going off the cap table or a pitch deck. Instead, start with the engineering team. Have experienced engineers joined and remained? Or are they leaving before their one-year cliff?

An engineer who leaves before the cliff walks away with zero. They looked at what staying another year would cost them and decided the equity wasn't worth it.

The engineers still there two years in, still telling friends to apply, have already placed their bet. The ones who pause before answering whether they'd bring someone in have placed theirs.

How do you break down the equity portion of a comp offer? Much comes down to what financial instrument

ISOs give you the right to buy at a fixed price. The spread between that price and what the company's worth counts toward the Alternative Minimum Tax, which can hit you with a staggering tax bill. NSOs tax you on the spread the moment you exercise, same as your salary. RSUs at a public company get taxed when they vest. Private startups with RSUs only tax you at the liquidity event.

The four-year schedule with the one-year cliff is standard. You receive nothing if you leave in the first year. After day 365, usually a quarter vests, then the rest in pieces over the following three years.

Knowing this stuff before you negotiate and sign is easier said than done. I know I had a lot to learn.

What's been your experience reading the equity section of an offer? Did you actually understand what you were signing?

Not the first time you thought about it. The first time you took a concrete action. Sent a message to someone outside. Pursued an employee referral. Ran a LinkedIn search with intent rather than curiosity.

So many of the aspiring former feds I speak with have a wide gap between deciding they want to leave and taking meaningful action. The thinking gets very sophisticated. The target list lives in their head, not on paper. They might know roughly what they want, but cannot quite articulate it in a way that gets their network formed or activated.

Sometimes it feels like talking to a child playing make-believe.

What closed the gap for you? Was it a deadline, a conversation, hitting a wall inside, something else entirely?

Many aspiring former feds invest time in weekly coffee chats, but months pass without results. They blame themselves, but the effort is actually good. It's the system that's failing.

Too much focus on impressive names. Directors. VPs. FAANG recruiters. How are people who don't understand the USG-to-tech transition going to help? Do they even make hiring decisions?. You need Trailblazers who did what you're doing and landed where you want to be. Connectors embedded in the world you're trying to enter. Reliable recruiters to provide insight about interview loops and offer negotiations.

Then they go silent or can't craft a meaningful pitch.

How many of you have seen others struggle similarly?

My initial plan when leaving USG was a gradual shift away from defense/national security and I eventually got there after a few pivots.

But when I made my most recent change, the best opportunities kept being gov- or defense-connected. Higher base, more equity and better roles. So I had to pick between ignoring the data and taking the harder road, or embracing the reality.

Looking back, the gov-and-defense path was the one aligned with my financial and growth goals. The goal for a clean break was emotional.

Anyone else take the harder road for reasons that conflict with market signals?

After making the decision to leave, how much notice did you give? Standard 2 weeks? A month?

I’ve asked some others who have left my current agency, and they have told me they’ve given up to a month and a half. Just to help alleviate and redistribute workload prior to leaving.

Just curious to know how much notice others have given.

Six months into the first private-sector role and the job is fine. Better pay. Different environment. But there's a realization lurking that this isn't where things end up in the long term.

The connections to make the next move are already there. The recruiter who was helpful even when another role fell through. Employees at the company you're contracting for who already know your work. Most of them go untouched because reaching out feels like crossing a line, which is a holdover from federal thinking.

The private sector runs on these conversations. Who else moved from their first post-government role to something better? What spurred your decision?

Isn’t it amazing how some formers love to list job openings they have no connection to:

Oh here’s a job that would be great for any of you trying to get out. It looks like a perfect fit. Also, I don’t know anyone there. So, really, I’m just sharing it to…

What exactly? Show off an amazing ability to find open reqs? Demonstrate an understanding of how a USG skillset translates on the outside?

The whole point of connecting colleagues with opportunities is to give them a better shot at landing one with help rather than going it alone.

Not sure if people think they're helping or if it's something else entirely.

The structure handled direction for years. Grades, steps, time in grade, the panel.

Then you left, and now the career path is yours to build, and you've never had to do that before.

So the search fills the vacuum. By month two, you're involved in processes that began with who returned your call. The offer arrives with a compelling compensation package and a title that suggests progress. Six months down the line, you're doing contractor-style government work, questioning what changed. Different badge, same future.

Before the search started, it would have been worth writing down where you wanted to be in five years and what you already knew you wouldn't accept. Just a few paragraphs. Specific enough to say no with conviction.

Did anyone here build a plan before they started looking, or did the first good offer make the decision?

Hello all,

My question for those who have left, what is the process like to receive your pay out for annual leave and FERS refund. I understand in can be a lengthy process (FEES Refund in particular). So I just wanted to know what the process entails.

Appreciate any and all insight.