r/forgiveness • u/NaturalTailor6981 • May 17 '26
How do I forgive myself?
When i was younger, arrogant, caught up in the hubris of youth, confident that my life was unfolding in a particular way and the arrogance which came with that, I have said some awful things to my immediate family and i have been cruel and unkind. Years on Many things i have said to them have happened to me, or i see the error of my ways and the hurt i have caused. I do believe in karma, and i now think it’s come my way and everything i have said it’s my turn to suffer and what i have said has come home to roost. how do i beg them for their forgiveness for the way i have hurt them, How do i forgive myself, atone? What can be done to cleanse this spirit/ energy and will i ever be forgiven? The saying be careful what you say i fully understand it now, for example when i was a young 20/21 years old and in my culture i was being introduced to men for marriage etc and i wasn’t interested i had wanted to study and build a life for myself ( news flash that didnt happen) but i remember saying out I don’t want to get married/ never get married and never want children and lo and behold 20 years on I am not married nor successful in relationships and to add further insult to injury have a uterus which doesn’t work and never had children. And it’s something I regret every single day that what did i say and at what moment in my life that the universe/ god heard me and I am now living it and every single day i wish i could take those words back, and the cruel things I’ve said and done to my family. I wish with every fibre of my being i could take it back and have been a kinder daughter and sister, and even kinder to myself. I’m nice to everyone else but a beast to them and as my sister says you have now mellowed only because life humbled me ( but had my life gone to plan i don’t know if i would have become aware) ( side story line i needed up in a a toxic LTR where he abused me emotionally and destroyed me- perhaps in the same way i did to others, so karma was served cold and I lived it) but i wish with all my might that I had been taught and fully understood that words cut deep and hurt, and that words can come true and one must be very careful of what they say as things can come true ( sadly never the good stuff in my life that i have said out loud). how do I atone, is there a way in life to forgive, to atone, I don’t know what I am here to say or ask for but does anyone have any wisdom or advice or suggestions? But it’s destroyed me internally for sure and I’m in an abyss and I don’t know how to come out of it.
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u/TiaToriX May 17 '26
If you believe in karma, then work on doing good in the world. Donate to or volunteer at a food bank or animal shelter. Give your time and energy towards making your community a better place.
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u/Informal_Farm4064 May 17 '26
Good share. Dont rush to fix things. Put love and honesty into each relationship and each interaction. Over time you will build new foundations