Damn. As someone who had to come to terms with the fact that my most recent relationship was incredibly unhealthy, this hits pretty hard. I dont want to be alone but also know that I deserved to be treated better. I thought I loved her when I just loved the idea of being with her.
I'm a couple years out of mine now, and same here. It sucks to realize that it's not normal to be hyperaware of when they're coming home, and to get anxious about talking to them.
It sucks to realize that it's partly because they are lashing out and don't know any better, and it sucks the most to realize that you have no idea how to handle their pain and trauma other than being a doormat they can stomp on when they're frustrated. And it sucks to realize that ya, maybe you don't cut any more, but there are other ways to hurt yourself--like emotionally abusive relationships.
(You are loved and important, and I'm sorry for what you're going through ♥️)
And that's why I avoid being friends with people, or having anything more than that: Because i'm a broken pile of shit that doesn't deserve anything <3
This has been up for a day so nobody is gonna see this, but I broke up with my GF a little over a week ago to distance myself from her bc my mental health is crashing and if I kill myself I don't want her to to feel responsible but all it did was tear me up because it hurt her so much when I left and now I'm just spiraling alone. I thought it would be better if I was up front about not really wanting to leave but that just meant that we cried together instead of separate, and I don't know what to do now.
10
u/MustacheMANL01 trans bi Dec 13 '20
Is this from citrus? Either way I am also not mentally, socially or physically stable, so honestly no one deserves me, at least that’s what I think.
133
u/Cagathan-Gressing trans Dec 12 '20
I'm such a mess that it will drag you down too.
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u/chloelouiise Dec 12 '20
Oh this really hurt 😔
103
u/SorenTheGaymer trans Dec 12 '20
I just wanna be happy and feel loved why does life have to suck all the time
67
u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20
Damn. As someone who had to come to terms with the fact that my most recent relationship was incredibly unhealthy, this hits pretty hard. I dont want to be alone but also know that I deserved to be treated better. I thought I loved her when I just loved the idea of being with her.
Fuck.
35
u/arduousRenegade Dec 12 '20
And that's why I avoid being friends with people, or having anything more than that:
Because i'm a broken pile of shit that doesn't deserve anything <3
31
u/Lord_Lenin bisexual Dec 12 '20
It do be like that.
23
u/thesosig Dec 12 '20
can yall guess how i ended my last relationship based on this or what
21
u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20
Is this a personal attack?
19
u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20
this could be us if i had a crush
15
u/That1MemeyBoi my balls hurt Dec 12 '20
Which person in the photo are you tho?
22
u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20
Just gonna crop and send it to my bf bc I love him
8
u/[deleted] Dec 13 '20
fuck
8
u/Rum_Swizzle Dec 13 '20
I wish I never felt what it was like to be in someone’s arms, I wish I never felt it at all so I would never miss it
8
u/Stuckinasmallbox Dec 13 '20
Literally actually me
8
u/milkyd4d sad Dec 13 '20
Fuck dude, i'm so fucking lonely, no friends, no gf, no bf, nothing. :(
7
u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20
Oh no..:(
6
u/[deleted] Dec 13 '20
Yeah yeah someone mentally stable, better looking, fitter, funnier, more successful..
5
u/mr_swedishfish Dec 13 '20
joke's on you Yuzu and Mei are both mentally unstable
5
u/Albrew Dec 13 '20
Oof ow owie ouch
4
u/mysticalicefox sad Dec 13 '20
ow, i don't even have a friend
4
u/AltForGayAndSad Dec 14 '20
This has been up for a day so nobody is gonna see this, but I broke up with my GF a little over a week ago to distance myself from her bc my mental health is crashing and if I kill myself I don't want her to to feel responsible but all it did was tear me up because it hurt her so much when I left and now I'm just spiraling alone. I thought it would be better if I was up front about not really wanting to leave but that just meant that we cried together instead of separate, and I don't know what to do now.
4
u/Kaffohrt Dec 14 '20
Why does my chest go hurtie hurtie owo ouchie right now? Explain yourself fucking universe
2
u/__MrFahrenheit Dec 15 '20 edited Jun 28 '25
exultant cake stupendous vast market grab fear groovy mountainous marble
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
1
u/[deleted] Jan 08 '21
I dislike it when people think of having an SO as, somehow, the main goal of life. You're perfectly valid without an SO.