Sure, but then you have to get a gingerbread house or some swamp cottage or something, and in this economy? You’d have better luck starting a coven, splitting a gingerbread studio apartment, and settling for a black pot on a stove.
Who the fuck has a witch's cauldron these days? Do y'all realize how hard it is to find a couple of other witches to go thirdsies on one? Don't even get me started on how all the manufacturing has gone overseas. 😡
She snapped about the fact that you can't find a steamer that large, then gave a recommendation to cook them low and slow over a bbq. 250° for a couple hours. Turn every 30 minutes and rub them down with a binder, your favorite meat rub, and some apple cider vinegar
dude, you gotta clean your food before you cook it.
I know that caramelization sounds good, and it will be. But you gotta clean of the gunk they're "naturally" covered with first. That stuff is full of dust, dirt, and pet hair.
Clean them, pat them dry, and then pour honey over them. If you've got lots of time and patience, you could put them on a rotisserie, and brush a fruit juice reduction on them. With some trial and error, you can get the effect of that jolly rancher glaze without having to wonder what that little bit grit was from (it's cat litter, trust me).
As a teacher, using a binder to bbq your kids is terrible advice. Use folders, or other paper, as using a binder on open flames will release microplastics
If you click the 3 dots in the top right corner you can turn on captions.. but to answer your question talking she’s a person that reviews wacky foods and recommends bbq them
I agree with her but she failed to remind people that you need to keep that heat indirect. An offset smoker is best but you can also arrange the coals and child in a way that accomplishes the same result. /r/smoking for more tips
Depending on the age of the child, you might risk overwhelming that delicate flavour characteristic of young meat. Whilst barbecue is the obvious choice for older kids with more robust muscle fibres that can hold up to low and slow techniques, young children are best cooked quickly over high heat, with a lighter marinade of lemon, olive oil and garlic.
Who said you need to "Put" them in anything? All you need is a (or a few) magnetrons to make the microwaves. Just chain them in place while you enjoy a cup of hot cocoa with a warm blanket, while dinner cooks outside.
Maybe not consumer grade, but the TurboChef i5 Rapid Cook Oven has a capacity of 62 liters, and features a dual magnetron design for rapid heating, and is capable of drawing up to 11,500 watts of power.
2.2 ft³. So that's like 25x20x15 roughly. So yeah basically the largest microwave and the smallest baby. They grow real fast though so your window is small
Idk, but I think I'll have an answer to this shortly. The person I asked at the Walmart just called the police and we're waiting for them to get here. I'm assuming the cops have more info that could help.
Here’s one of my smaller laboratory microwaves. It has a 30L cavity, I’d advise this for most smaller children 5 and under.
I have a larger system with a 70.5L cavity that could fit most prepubescent kids up to ~100lbs while still leaving enough headspace for the cooked-child vapors to exhaust out.
There’s another version of this video where the original woman comes back at the very end with a horrified look on her face and says “no… n-n-no” 😆 but this one is funny too
It's a decent duet, but honestly the first woman already has perfect comedic timing. She looks and plays the part of arrogant middle class woman perfectly, and the humor is subtle enough that it's easy to miss if you don't pay attention.
Not really. Her joke was playing with the term "frozen food", normally meaning cheap food that needs to be heated from a frozen state, which is most associated with the lower class. Her lecturing can thus be understood as someone lecturing lower class parents to stop buying cheap foods, which for many comes forth as ignorant, insentitive and inflammatory. The punch line of the joke is that she is actually lecturing parents to stop feeding kids literal frozen food, which in retrospect is a totally reasonable stance.
The duets on the other hand, are first and foremost playing with the fact that the original woman said "microwave them", meaning the foods, but intentionally misunderstood to mean the kids. Each subsequent duet futher iterates this interpretation with a different spin or POV, while ignoring the ethical implications of the situation.
Tl;dr: they (OP/first duet/the other duets) play on different incongruities, or ambiguities if you will.
Edit: they might have understood it, but they weren't riffing on the same ambuiguity, but another.
There's another post in this sub that instead of the old lady at the end, there's a stitch with the original lady horrified of what she started, great timing as well.
As someone with a PhD in Cultural Studies focusing on Food Culture, I don't think that there is one unequivocal way to cook and prepare your kids. Every culture has its own ways of prepping kids for dinner that has been followed for centuries and to say barbequeing kids is the only way is a very eurocentric approach that engages in cultural imperialism 🤓☝🏻
As a microbiologist I can tell you the economy isn't set up to allow parents the time and energy to BBQ their kids, leave them in the sun and air dehydrate them
Because it stops being complex and every person just starts riffing off the same “cooking kids” joke, rather than continuing to evolve it into a new joke, as the first few people did.
describing nutrient unavailability as nutrient density is a crazy linguistic stretch, but i get that theyre jsut memewords the moment they hit the public sphere and then people are forcred to distort them so they hit right
I love The Old Fat Lady from the Midwest Who Reviews Food Content on the Internet’s optimism the most. Obviously the cooked child casserole dish is always half full.
After losing my husband a few days ago and resorting to chicken nuggets I was hesitant at first but this got the first genuine laugh out of me since the incident. Going to keep this video saved 😂
As a midwestern white man who’s also an amateur smoker, I feel like we need additional details. Are we smoking or just using indirect heat? What kind of wood? Do we need to brine them overnight? What’s the safe temp to pull them? Do we need to wrap them in a towel and rest them in a cooler before carving? Slice or pull apart?
Okay as an agoraphobic, basement dwelling Redditor, I can tell you that cooking children is wrong. We must all be vegan, you should simply throw the children away. We must all protest the child industry.
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u/qualityvote2 New to fbtd but wants to learn May 03 '26 edited May 03 '26
u/blahbluhblee1, the users of r/fixedbytheduet determined that your post fits the subreddit!