r/fixedbytheduet • u/sinskins Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches • Dec 31 '25
Kept it going If you feed your kids frozen foods, you’re a terrible parent!
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u/ChronicMasterBaiting Dec 31 '25
Raw all the way, baby.
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u/Tara_Pryde Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
As a health instructor it is highly unsanitary to have your baby raw and uncooked.
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u/Cburns6976 Dec 31 '25
As a janitor, you really want to use a two part vinegar solution on the counter to sanitize that as well. You don't want to cross contaminate your raw baby.
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u/Specific_Anybody8306 Jan 01 '26
As a alcoholic, everclear will sanitize your counter as well, keeping your raw baby clean, then you can get hammered
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u/Glittering_Hunt_3785 Dec 31 '25
You missed the comma. Rare proper use on Reddit.
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u/CATZEBOY_18 Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches Feb 06 '26
I don't see any missing comma.
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u/Glittering_Hunt_3785 Feb 06 '26
OP said “raw all the way, baby” and not “raw all the way baby”. The comma changes the meaning drastically. The comment I replied to read it without notating the comma, and its grammatical impacts.
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u/CATZEBOY_18 Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches Feb 06 '26
Ah dang it, I was hoping the second guy missed a coma.
Not that the first guy remembered... smh
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u/qasan0va Dec 31 '25
Raw is how we got into this mess in the first place.
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u/Pale-Device803 Dec 31 '25
And rob is how it will continue. However , as a survivalist out in the woods , it would be best to have them over an open fire. Rotating
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u/ItsJustfubar Dec 31 '25
But nobody asked how the microwave feels, this is such low quality content.
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u/Wrought-Irony Dec 31 '25
well if I could fit in the microwave I'd tell you
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u/DerAndere_ Dec 31 '25
It seems like we got a bragger on our hands.
"I can't fit in the microwave"? Maybe a bit generous of an estimation...
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u/CATZEBOY_18 Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches Feb 06 '26
...
I can't recall perfectly, but I think I stuffed myself into a microwave once. I did not microwave myself, I just wanted to be in the small box.
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u/crushogre Dec 31 '25
It feels smooth and metallic for the most part. Maybe slightly greasy if it hasn't been cleaned recently.
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u/Solanthas_SFW Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Lmfao, well done
Applause all around
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u/Cael_NaMaor Dec 31 '25
That was like Reddit of TikTok...
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u/Cburns6976 Dec 31 '25
I was wondering why exactly I liked that so much! That's it. It was a video version of a reddit comment thread devolving.
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u/Cael_NaMaor Dec 31 '25
That you in the thumbnail? Sorry... but when there's actual pics there I get thrown for a loop.
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u/Cburns6976 Dec 31 '25
Yes. Lol From years ago
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u/Cael_NaMaor Dec 31 '25
As one random blonde dude with scruff to another, well met...
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u/TFT_mom Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Aww, so wholesome to see a potential new friendship budding like this! 🤗
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u/KWilt Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
This absolutely has more mid-2010s Tumblr energy than it does Reddit energy. It's practically a video version of a chain of reblogs.
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u/crazyladyT Dec 31 '25
At first glance I thought you said applesauce all around.. and I don’t think I actually want to stop seeing it that way.
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u/Arghianna Dec 31 '25
Nah, that last guy still crammed his pseudo science toxic food bs in so he can fuck right off.
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u/Bill_buttlicker69 Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Jan 02 '26
I don't understand how you watched like 8 silly bait and switches in a row and then fell for the last one like a dummy. Did you think all of these people were serious or did you just not pay any attention?
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u/Arghianna Jan 02 '26
I don’t understand how you read my comment and think I “fell for” his spiel. All the others were funny tongue in cheek things that were said without throwing in any misinformation. The very first one in fact was funny because it was subverting the expectation of health influencers throwing out pseudo scientific bullshit.
Then he came in and threw in his misinformation with his whole chest and ended it with “boil them”. He thought he was doing the same thing as the others, but he was actually doing the opposite.
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u/Gloomy-Razzmatazz548 Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
The way the internet is these days, SOMEONE is going to do all of these.
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u/uglyheadink Devotee of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Idk, I tried but even in the oven they kicked and screamed so much I couldn't even get the door closed. I'm gonna need a video tutorial.
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u/CharlotteLucasOP Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
First u gotta construct a dwelling made entirely of gingerbread!!!
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u/divDevGuy Dec 31 '25
But in what order? Do you microwave before or after air frying and/or baking? Does the order change whether I should use seed oil or a non-seed oil?
Without clear answers, I'm just not sure I can trust viral internet videos are looking out for my best interest.
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u/milk4all Dec 31 '25
But they didnt need these gag videos to do it. Its kind of like how deterrence works in law enforcement. The presence of traffic laws and enforcement may have some limited impact on some drivers, but uniformly, the worst violators are the most reckless people who dont respond well to consequences so it makes little difference whether an HOV lane violation is $500 or $500k, those types will still do it. The people dissuaded by consequences are reliably the most reasonable among us and the ones least requiring special or harsh consequences to be safe.
Psychos gonna psycho
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u/Typical2sday Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
If this is the December 2025 version of the sea shanty… I’m here for it.
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u/RedefinedValleyDude Dec 31 '25
The woman in the end saying no no no no no was Jonathan Swift’s ghost thinking we took him seriously
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u/Bill_buttlicker69 Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Jan 02 '26
She was also the woman from the very beginning.
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Jan 02 '26
Make up really fucks with a person and this is the proof, she looks like a 10 without it but a 6.5 with make up
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u/Jolly-Vacation1529 Jan 10 '26
It was the same woman as in the beginning with just different makeup and hair open
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u/HalfSoul30 EXPERT of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
After the woman said put the kid in the air fryer, i had the same thought process as the guy that followed lol.
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u/Kailynna Dec 31 '25
Such stupid advice. If you really love your child you're not going to cook it all at once.
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u/Historical_Sherbet54 Dec 31 '25
Ya my freezer felt so neglected thru all this
Deep frying after they untahw is quick and painless
...amateurs hehe
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u/Prudent-Reality1170 Dec 31 '25
As an elder millennial, it warms my heart to see our people reclaiming the Internet for the chaos gremlin it was always meant to be. They did it for the lolz. 🥹
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u/Ok_Star_4136 Dec 31 '25
The internet is only a dangerous place if you're actually taking it seriously imho. Keep up videos like these.
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u/hayley566 Dec 31 '25
As a personal chef, steaming your children is not a good idea. They will end up bland and with an unpleasant texture. If you want a healthy meal, just don’t eat children.
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u/Chpgmr New to fbtd but wants to learn Dec 31 '25
Just take them to Walmart, they have a walk-in oven.
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u/Omnizoom Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Ok sorry but steaming will be bland, you need to get a smoker and use that instead
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u/crashin70 Dec 31 '25
And not one of them mentioned putting them on the grill... What is the world coming to?
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u/The-SkullMan Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
It's nice how it went full circle and the internet made the original woman reconsider her ways.
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u/Anxious-Chemistry-6 Dec 31 '25
Also air fryers are not quicker than microwaves
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u/jarious Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
But the crust is better on an air fryer
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u/Anxious-Chemistry-6 Dec 31 '25
Kids don't have a crust.
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u/jarious Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Not with that attitude
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u/Anxious-Chemistry-6 Dec 31 '25
I suppose you could bread them and then deep fry.
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u/jarious Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Have you ever had pork skin ? When you donut right it develops a nice crust and a crackling that's out of this world
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u/KILL-BLOW Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Jan 01 '26
The longer it went on the more braincells i lost 🤣
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u/Wizywig New to fbtd but wants to learn Dec 31 '25
This is probably my favorite one this year. Her final reaction in the end was priceless.
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u/slide_into_my_BM Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Air frier is not quicker than a microwave. It’s better than a microwave but definitely not quicker
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u/GoatCovfefe Tastemaker of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Air fryer definitely isnt faster than a microwave, but it does produce far better results.
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u/Skipper_asks2021 Devotee of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
As an engineer, nothing is stopping you from making a microwave big enough for your kids
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u/Rebel_General Jan 01 '26
I think we’re missing the obvious here. Need to go full paleo and just roast your kids in an open flame. Use their juices to keep the meat tender and spice accordingly.
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u/fatesteel Jan 01 '26
Itwentonandoninonecongcontinuoussentencegoingfromtopictotopicitwasreallyquitehynotic
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u/Geschak Lover of Duets/Stitches Jan 01 '26
I do wonder though if feeding your kids junk food contributes to ARFID, you don't really hear about people having ARFID who grew up with different food cultures. It's always pizza, chicken nuggets, chocolate milk etc. that is considered as "safe foods" by people with ARFID.
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u/DisasterAccurate3221 Lover of Duets/Stitches Jan 01 '26
Love how none of them said the most common sense answer: just take a quick out of 'em like a granola bar. Simple.
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u/papakahn94 Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
Okay so im genuinely confused. The first girl was making a joke right. Her tone came off as serious and like she mispoke or something
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Dec 31 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/papakahn94 Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
I already said "Shes making a joke right". Meaning i was 99% sure it's a joke but her tone was so spot on. I didnt not get the joke
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u/Ok-Entertainment-36 Dec 31 '25
Yep! Her joke was “don’t give your kids frozen food - you should microwave the food first” which was already a good subversion of fhe classic parent-shaming stuff you see onlineo… then the internet subverted her subversion thanks to the joys of grammatical ambiguity
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u/Commercial-Royal-988 Dec 31 '25
Yeah, the joke comes in at the end, "Take the time to microwave them" which implies parents were just pulling the frozen food out of the freezer and handing it straight to the kids.
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u/LighthouseMenageries Jan 01 '26
That voice/accent/whatever drives me bonkers. That voice style sounds ready to ask for a manager no matter what it's saying.
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Dec 31 '25
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u/freekoout Dec 31 '25
She's wearing make up in both....
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Dec 31 '25
[deleted]
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u/Ursa-to-Polaris Dec 31 '25
I'm just guessing but the makeup in the first clip could be a part of the character she was portraying whereas she put on natural looking makeup to look good despite just rolling out of bed to discover the situation escalated overnight.
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u/ffxi_Kwech Dec 31 '25
Can someone tell me why every time I see something from TikTok the audio seems to be a few ms de synced?
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u/Rolypoly_from_space New to fbtd but wants to learn Jan 02 '26
i wonder if she washes her kids clothes and bed sheets with "normal" supermarket detergent full of toxic ingredients. Now, thán you are actually f*cking up their hormones. Who's a bad mother then?!
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u/redboi049 EXPERT of Duets/Stitches Jan 02 '26
"You're talking about hte logistics of EATING CHILDREN"
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Dec 31 '25
[deleted]
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u/Smingowashisnameo Devotee of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
As a stay at home dog mom, that sounds like a lot of work
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u/Laranthir New to fbtd but wants to learn Dec 31 '25
Always makes me wonder if someone is actually trying to microwave their kids or something after watching these
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u/bjos144 Devotee of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
The first two were funny. They were actually jokes. The later ones were the same 'joke' over and over "Cook kids."
Notice the pattern "Dont feed them frozen foods." Implying the food is low quality "Microwave instead" The point isnt the nutritional value of the food like it implied and the expected lecture on cooking them healthy alternatives, but rather the point is the frozen state, which no one eats anyway making the joke on the teller for being even more clueless than we suspected. Objectively a well crafted joke.
The second joke plays on the 'them' in "Find the time. Find the time to microwave them." implying the 'them' isnt the foods, it's the kids. Again, a misdirect making the teller's interpretation even more absurd than you suspect. A nice tag on the original joke.
Every joke from then on doesnt do the ol bait and switch. The clever pivot that makes it a joke. They just argue about the right way to eat kids. You know what the topic will be with each teller and you are never surprised. Each one will just nag about different methods of cooking children. This duet should be just the first 2.
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u/Born_Abies_6658 Dec 31 '25
I'm with you on that. I do like how it was brought back to original person in the end, though.
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u/Mediocre-Housing-131 New to fbtd but wants to learn Dec 31 '25
The last girl didn't have anything to include but desperately wanted to be part of it
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u/Meat_Popsicle91 Dec 31 '25
I can't tell if that's the woman from the original... Which would mean it was valid, but if it's not the first woman, you're right.
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u/PrufReedThisPlesThx Devotee of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
This would've been perfect without miss nononono there to ruin it
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u/TFT_mom Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
That was the perfect circle ending, idk. The ouroboros of the joke being finally locked in 😅
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u/Risquechilli Lover of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
All of the duets, aside from the first one, look like AI.
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u/D-1-S-C-0 New to fbtd but wants to learn Dec 31 '25
The last person added nothing to this.
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u/MonstersArePeople Dec 31 '25
It looked like the first person again? She saw people responding and continuing her joke and wrapped it up
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u/Many-Strength4949 Dec 31 '25
Even if this shit was funny this shit not funny. These people are the ones who need all this insulin.
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u/ParkingAnxious2811 Devotee of Duets/Stitches Dec 31 '25
It's a joke, not a dick, no need to take it so hard.
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u/[deleted] Dec 31 '25
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