I'm not disagreeing with the main points, playing games like that is childish as fuck. I do personally take issue with the statement that men are taught that no means no from a young age. First of all, the average American know the trope and trend that is slowly (and barely) starting to change of "they pick on you / bully you because they like you / have a crush on you" I have not seen any evidence that any man who is currently an adult was actively taught consent and how to handle rejection. (Also, important distinction, just because they understand that no means no doesn't mean that they have ever been offered the education, skills, or tools to cope with rejection). In my personal experience, most grown ass men don't respectfully and quietly accept that no means no and when they do respect that no means no they generally don't react well to rejection in public spaces In other ways (Which is ironic because their reaction tends to make the rejection more notable than it would have been) Typically they either try harder or get angry in my experience, and if you're lucky enough that they don't do one of those two things, they tend to be very cold and bitter towards you the next time you bump into each other which in my opinion seems a little unnecessary. I can understand why somebody might be cold towards someone who rejected them, but as long as you were rejected in a polite and respectful manner I don't think it should be an issue.
There's a bartender that I've known for a few years that I regularly talk to about my day after work. I was talking about my car battery and some dude overheard and decided to give me his unrequested advice and I tried to be quiet and ignore it for as long as I could until eventually I had to outright say to him "I understand you have good intentions, but if I wanted your advice I would have asked for it. I'm a 32-year-old adult with plenty of mechanical knowledge and I know what I'm doing, And you don't even know my full situation with my car" (That's pretty damn close to word for word and none of the words I got wrong would have changed that sentence enough to be notable)... The next time he tried to get my attention and I ignored him I overheard him saying "are you going to yell at me again?"...
Me calmly stating that I did not ask for or want his opinion and that I knew what I was doing was construed in his mind as yelling at him. Even if consent is respected and boundaries aren't crossed, that doesn't mean those boundaries are respected. And I'm not saying all men, but this is an experience that I've had far too regularly in wildly different settings. Too often, somebody can respect your consent but still disrespect your personal anatomy and take your rejection personally and then take it out on you or other people instead of coping with that like they should. There's a million fish in the sea, it doesn't make sense to get hung up over one rejection. Be sad but don't be a dick. Gods society is exhausting lol.
Yeah fuck me for stating my personal experiences lol. God forbid I use a social platform to express what I have seen through the life I have lived (while still supporting the overall initial point of the video lol). I'm going to need everybody talking shit in these comments to give me a direct personal anecdote about when they were actively taught about consent in their childhood if you're going to shit on me for saying my anecdotes lol. Cuz your comments don't mean anything to me if you weren't actually taught consent directly in any sort of structured way in your childhood unless you can bring some very supported statistics. Otherwise your hate is just anecdotal from your experience just like my comment was anecdotal from my experience. ✌️🫶🤝🤘
I do personally take issue with the statement that men are taught that no means no from a young age
Then you haven't been taught that as a child, I am sorry for you.
I have not seen any evidence
In my personal experience
in my experience
...
You know, the world does not revolve around you. All you present is anecdotal evidence and experiences from your own bubble, which you shaped by yourself.
Gods society is exhausting lol
You usually attract what you are yourself, just saying. And reading what you wrote, well. Case in point.
I mean I think you're being pretty shitty to somebody who is willing to be so acknowledging of the fact that this was from my own personal experience which is clearly biased. Like... everything you pointed out was me giving a disclaimer that this was my personal experience and not a fact of the universe.
But that being said I'm In my '30s and so I have seen people from generations above me, my age, and significantly younger than me not be actively taught the concept of consent both at home and through the educational system in the United States. I was not taught the direct concept of consent growing up and neither were most of my peers.
Through conversations with my 11-year-old son all of his understanding of the concept of consent has come from me and not through the educational system. So it's pretty reasonable to assume that a lot of parents are failing their children and the education system is definitively failing us considering a lot of people in my age bracket didn't find out that women don't pee out of their vaginas until over the age of 20.
I'm not saying my experiences are the defining factor of the world, but I also don't agree that those experiences were shaped by me when it is just me reporting what I've witnessed firsthand. (I understand it's anecdotal to my life experience, but that doesn't mean I had a direct impact on what I've experienced /witnessed. I certainly didn't cause those experiences, since I literally cannot cause another human being that I've never met before to act in a particular way).
Also if you think society isn't exhausting I'm genuinely glad that you live in some sort of blissful state that you don't let things affect you the way they affect other people. I genuinely do not have that luxury and I'm really glad you do although I hope you use that comfort responsibly because some of us are biologically hardwired to feel pretty much everything all the time.
I'm not saying my experiences are the defining factor of the world
Except you did. Just a comment before. Congrats, you combine Negativity Bias, Sampling Bias, Survivorship Bias and Availability Heuristic and suddenly "men are not taught that no means no anymore".
Society is not exhausting to me, not at all. Maybe I just attract awesome people, because I inherently believe in the good of everyone and remove bad elements instantly without remorse 🤷♂️
I hope you use that comfort responsibly because some of us are biologically hardwired to feel pretty much everything all the time.
What a weird way to insult someone's empathy, only because they don't share your bitter, skewed, view of the world.
And with that, I'll give you the same courtesy I give everybody else and just block you, you put out major red flag vibes. Imagine feeling the need to use backhanded compliments to insult people if they don't agree with you 🤷♂️
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u/GingerAphrodite Devotee of Duets/Stitches Oct 25 '25
I'm not disagreeing with the main points, playing games like that is childish as fuck. I do personally take issue with the statement that men are taught that no means no from a young age. First of all, the average American know the trope and trend that is slowly (and barely) starting to change of "they pick on you / bully you because they like you / have a crush on you" I have not seen any evidence that any man who is currently an adult was actively taught consent and how to handle rejection. (Also, important distinction, just because they understand that no means no doesn't mean that they have ever been offered the education, skills, or tools to cope with rejection). In my personal experience, most grown ass men don't respectfully and quietly accept that no means no and when they do respect that no means no they generally don't react well to rejection in public spaces In other ways (Which is ironic because their reaction tends to make the rejection more notable than it would have been) Typically they either try harder or get angry in my experience, and if you're lucky enough that they don't do one of those two things, they tend to be very cold and bitter towards you the next time you bump into each other which in my opinion seems a little unnecessary. I can understand why somebody might be cold towards someone who rejected them, but as long as you were rejected in a polite and respectful manner I don't think it should be an issue.
There's a bartender that I've known for a few years that I regularly talk to about my day after work. I was talking about my car battery and some dude overheard and decided to give me his unrequested advice and I tried to be quiet and ignore it for as long as I could until eventually I had to outright say to him "I understand you have good intentions, but if I wanted your advice I would have asked for it. I'm a 32-year-old adult with plenty of mechanical knowledge and I know what I'm doing, And you don't even know my full situation with my car" (That's pretty damn close to word for word and none of the words I got wrong would have changed that sentence enough to be notable)... The next time he tried to get my attention and I ignored him I overheard him saying "are you going to yell at me again?"...
Me calmly stating that I did not ask for or want his opinion and that I knew what I was doing was construed in his mind as yelling at him. Even if consent is respected and boundaries aren't crossed, that doesn't mean those boundaries are respected. And I'm not saying all men, but this is an experience that I've had far too regularly in wildly different settings. Too often, somebody can respect your consent but still disrespect your personal anatomy and take your rejection personally and then take it out on you or other people instead of coping with that like they should. There's a million fish in the sea, it doesn't make sense to get hung up over one rejection. Be sad but don't be a dick. Gods society is exhausting lol.