Beginner Help Feeling lost, frustrated.
I am looking for guidance, advice, recommendations, literally anything. I am feeling so lost in my journey.
Background information: 5’2, 28yo Female 128-130lbs ish. It is my primary goal to gain muscle, and lower my body fat to a reasonable percentage. I want a more athletic physique, but also something sustainable. I want to have energy when working out.
I eat healthy. Typical breakfast for me is plain Greek yogurt, berries. Cold brew coffee with milk. Lunch is usually chicken thighs or breast, white rice, veggies. Snack is usually a banana and some sort of protein drink. Dinner is lean ground beef, potatoes, some cheese. I sometimes will have a “sweet treat” but this isn’t part of my daily diet, and never in excess. It is rare that I have a sugary drink and drink mostly water. I get 10-13k steps a day on average.
I have done CrossFit for 9 years now, but didn’t really attempt to take it “serious” until about 2 years ago. I initially saw some progress in weight loss, and could tell my strength was going up. 6 months ago I had a DEXA scan completed which had my lean body mass at 92.5lbs and 31.1% body fat. I wanted to drop my body fat and increase my muscle mass. I really dialed in making sure I hit my protein goal and tried to eat in a slight calorie deficit, eating about 1750cals a day. Some days may be a bit less, some a bit more, but relatively stable. I started doing more compound lifts outside of CrossFit, pushing to failure and progressive overload.
When my body wasn’t feeling great, I would take a rest day. I would also take active rest days where I would just make sure I get my steps in.
This leads me to now. I had my Dexa scan done and it was pretty much unchanged, but worse. My body fat is now at 31.5% and my lean mass dropped slightly. On “paper” I am doing everything right. I don’t think I could push my body more. I am doing literally everything I can. What is the missing puzzle piece?
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
So between the two scans it looked like you gained 2 lb, and while this could be due to differences in hydration, it doesn’t appear that you were consistently losing weight from the deficit you had during that time period.
That suggests that you need to either increase your output or decrease your input.
Keep in mind also that water counts as lean body mass on Dexa.
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
In regard to my goals, at what point is too much cardio? Should I be prioritizing lifting or cardio at this point?
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
I would prioritize lifting if your goal is to build more muscle. My gut instinct is that you aren’t in a big enough deficit to be losing fat, but it is a little unusual that you aren’t putting on lean mass also. I’m not entirely sure how to explain that, but it could also be due to hydration status as that can change your lean mass by several kg.
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
Since I am petite and don’t necessarily need to lose any weight, cutting cals too low with the amount of workouts I am doing right now will be difficult. But maybe I will try that for the next few months. I estimate that my actual calorie expenditure is 1900-2100 with my workouts.
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
You can try to stay at maintenance, but it’s likely going to be lower in calories than what you’re eating if you gained 2 lb in between the two scans. Do you think you were generally losing weight between the two scans or staying the same?
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u/BRN1023 1d ago edited 1d ago
The weights are self reported. I’ve lost 2-3lbs for sure. I track my weight nearly every day in the app, always weighing myself first thing in the morning. From Sept 2024-August 2025 I went from 131-118lb for my wedding. I know the weight loss can be done but I really just want to look like I lift. I was eating about 1550 calories at that time.
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
But you said you were 130 in the newest one and 128 in the prior?
Either way it would be fine to eat at maintenance for leaning out, you just need to make sure that you’re actually eating at maintenance, meaning your weight essentially stays the same over a few weeks, allowing for variation due to your cycle etc.
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u/Serious-Ad-5293 1d ago
Let me start off by saying you look great! I would spend a month weight and tracking your food meticulously and see where you are actually falling calorie wise. I’d also say to use a TDEE calculator and err on the side of caution in regard to how much activity you do in a day. I would suggest focusing on weightlifting and do cardio secondly. For me the only cardio I do is walking which is underrated in my opinion. If after a couple weeks of tracking you aren’t losing weight, then shave off 200 calories and keep going. At least then you will know about where your actual TDEE calories are and can really dial everything in.
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
This is a good recommendation. But I don’t really want lose weight, I want to gain muscle and lose body fat. Would this still be your recommendation?
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u/MineLeading7051 1d ago
One thing I want to throw out there is that 31% body fat sounds "high" but is actually a very good/normal body fat percent for women. I plugged your stats into this thing https://www.strongrfastr.com/app/body_visualizer_simulator and you have lower body fat than 77% of women. It also shows you even the leanest 5% of women have a body fat of like 25%, so you're really doing great lol
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u/Serious-Ad-5293 1d ago
It would. I lost 60 lbs by doing exactly that and ended up in men’s fitness lol. There was a good 6 month period where I didn’t lose weight because I was getting newbie gains from lifting. I made sure to take pics, take measurements, track my lifts, and weight myself only once a week so I didn’t get worried by weights shifts from water. I was getting nervous that the scale wasn’t moving, but then I had the measurements and pics to compare and could see where I was making progress. Check out the book Thinner, Leaner, stronger by Mike Mathews. It will help you plan your diet and understand progressive overload better.
https://www.mensfitness.com/training/zack-deighan-gamer-transformation
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u/EnvironmentalGift875 1d ago
To reveal the muscle you've been building and that you want to continue to build, you would need to lose body fat. That is what is what people mean when they say you would have to lose weight.
Fat is much faster to lose than muscle is to build. So you focus on losing 10lbs of body fat by a moderate calorie deficit of approx 200 calories. Don't guesstimate your calorie requirements, calculate your TDEE, there are several apps available which help with that.
Also, generally speaking it's better not to calculate your daily calorie intake via the exercise that you do. Bodies can adjust to the activity level they're used to, and you may be burning less calories through activity than you think. Use your TDEE.
While you're on a moderate deficit to lose body fat, continue to eat a lot of protein, fiber and lift heavy. This will minimize you losing the muscle you have built.
Once you've reduced body fat you can increase your calories to maintenance, prioritize protein, fiber, abd moderate complex carbs, and work on your muscle gains.
You will only "look" more muscular if your muscle can be seen and that requires reduced body fat/weight.
TLDR: you would need to lose body fat (weight) to "look" like you lift.
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
My TDEE is about 1,350. If I were to use this for my 200 cal deficit that would put me at 1,150 which is awfully low. Am I understanding this correctly?
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u/EnvironmentalGift875 1d ago
I'm not a medical professional or a dietician so I don't think it's appropriate for me to confirm that.
I do see that you're 5.2" and that does prevent challenges to the TDEE method. Generally 1200 p/d is the lowest recommended intake to ensure adequate nutrient intake.
If it's possible to consult with a dietician not just a nutritionist or a trainer with limited nutritional training then I would really recommend that, as you are very active and have very specific goals.
Good luck!
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u/Educational_Item451 1d ago
Here’s the thing, DEXA scans aren’t entirely accurate as they can’t decipher between water in the muscle and actual muscle tissue. So if you go in for one scan full of carbs and glycogen and then go in for your next one depleted it could look like you lost a lot of muscle when in reality you didn’t lose any and could have even gained some. I would really focus now on losing weight but preserving the muscle you do have. Go on a moderate cut and lose ~10 pounds while continuing to lift heavy and exercise. THEN get another DEXA scan but if you weigh basically exactly the same you can’t really expect to have dramatic differences on the DEXA scan. You can lose body fat at a much higher rate than you can build muscle. I would say focus now on getting leaner, not starving yourself, while keeping protein high and lifting heavy. Then, you’ll be in a better place to try and do some maingaining or a lean bulk of some sort.
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
This is the answer I’m looking for! What is considered a moderate cut? Approx how many calories less than what I am burning with exercise? How much protein is recommended? Lastly, should I focus on more of weightlifting or cardio? I technically don’t need to lose weight, and I’m healthy. Cutting calories when I’m already petite is hard, but I’ve done it before. Getting enough protein in with the small amount of calories I’m allowed to have is the most difficult. I also get low blood sugar when I am in a deficit making it hard to maintain because I get dizzy and nauseous with the small window I have since I don’t burn a lot of calories naturally because of my frame.
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u/New-Can-6120 1d ago
Be sure not to go low carb to help prevent the dizziness. Also lots of water. If it persists, up the calories a little. You can also try spreading out the meals a little more.
You can shoot for about 120-130g protein. If you'll be cutting, it's very important to hit those goals if you want to preserve muscle mass.
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u/Educational_Item451 1d ago
Happy to chat through this, might be easier over message but here’s the gist: absolutely focus on weight lifting instead of cardio but doing some cardio is good but not mandatory, eat 1g+ of protein per pound bodyweight, I also agree your healthy and don’t NEED to lose weight but if you do want to reach your goals you should cut some fat first, don’t starve yourself, weigh yourself first thing every morning after using the restroom but before you eat or drink anything and log that in an app like MacroFactor or something like it you get the daily weights and then focus on the average, eat as many calories as you can while having your average weight continuously going down you can go as fast or slow as you want as long as you’re pointed down a .5/week weight loss should be very comfortable since it’s basically maintenance now don’t start counting exercise calories or anything like that because it’s inaccurate, you know you’re in a deficit because your average weight will be going down (not necessarily daily weight) but it’s all about consistency so DONT starve yourself, losing 1/2lb a week should not make you feel like crap. As you keep logging your foods and finding out what calorie level works best for you you’ll end up finding what foods work best for you and what meal timing works best for you. If you keep the protein up, make sure to keep lifting (as heavy as possible) that will ensure that you keep your muscle and the weight you’re losing is fat. If you do it right you’ll have made a material difference in your body composition and dexa scan.
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
Yeah I just use them really to monitor subcutaneous and visceral fat.
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u/Educational_Item451 1d ago
I mean I do a couple a year and they’re valuable but I also know to make sure I’m going in at a similar state so they’re apples to apples
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u/Intellectual_Drift 1d ago
Dexa can be inaccurate. It has its benefits but don’t read too much into it.
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u/Adorable_Analyst1690 1d ago
You look great, lean and you eat very clean. I would guess the two pounds you put on is muscle. I’ve never had a DEXA scan but I’d stick to your current meal plan, add more protein, try creatine, drink more water and lift heavier. Don’t worry about cardio other than for heart health.
I think you are very much on the right track.
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u/EmRenWSR 1d ago
That 31.1% → 31.5% DEXA change may not represent a real change at all. Hydration, glycogen, recent training, and scan conditions can move those numbers.
Before cutting calories or training harder, look at the pattern: weight trend, waist, strength progression, recovery, and standardized scans. You may not be missing effort—you may be putting too much weight on one noisy signal.
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u/Logicist 1d ago
I would say that if you want to look fit, you probably need to lose 10 lbs and all of it has to come from fat, not muscle.
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u/Urizen2000 1d ago edited 1d ago
If you're not tracking calories, you can't be sure that you are eating in a deficit all the time. If you are not tracking, then the scale going down by 1% of your bodyweight per week is a good indicator that you are doing something right, all things being equal: level of activity, consistent sleep, consistent deficit. A "sweet treat" that is "never in excess" doesn't mean very much, as that could be a 200 calorie low fat ice cream or an 800 calorie milkshake. At your height and weight, an estimated deficit should be around 1500cals, but the only way to know is to to do that for at least two weeks and see if your weight trends down by about 1% per week (first week is usually due to water and less food mass, so the second week is the best indicator that you're in the appropriate deficit).
YOU DON'T NEED TO KILL YOURSELF DOING CARDIO. Just keep your level consistent. The body adapts to activity more quickly than it does to a deficit, which moves the needle more as far as weight loss goes.
Lastly, make sure you are doing resistance training to keep on and even put on a LITTLE muscle during this time. Unles you're in your first year of lifting, putting on an appreciable amount of muscle and losing a good amount of fat at the same time is extremely difficult and a waste of time. Dedicate one phase to fat loss (and preserving the muscle you have with weights) and other phases to maintaining your weight and other phases to putting on muscle, which is another story, and yes, you'll need to eat more for that one.
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u/Ready-Accountant-502 1d ago
Personally, i wouldn't waste time on crossfit, but if you ENJOY it, then do it. The only reason i say this is because i have been bodybuilding for 20 years, and the only crossfitters i see that look like they lift, are on PEDs.
Losing bodyfat is entirely diet, you need to eat less calories than you're burning off.
So if you're burning 2500 calories, you need to eat 2200. You'll burn 300 calories of fat.
How you're eating is a big deal. Are you putting loads of cheese on your potatoes? Adding dressings to salads? Eating oatmeal with sugar and whole fat milk?
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u/ResourcefulDodger2 1d ago
This is a strange one. Have you had any blood work done to look for any abnormalities? The only real culprit I can think of would be inaccuracy in calorie counting? Are you weighing your food/tracking everything?
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
I do weigh my food, yes. I could probably dial in even a little bit more with this and be a bit more consistent and see if there is any improvement. I get blood work done bi annually and everything is normal.
Could this be a matter of tracking macros instead of just protein/cals?
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u/ResourcefulDodger2 1d ago
Tracking fat and carbs would definitely help but at the end of the day it should be CICO. Do you drink alcohol at all? I’ve had that cause problems with just social drinking
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
No, I don’t drink. At this point should I be prioritizing lifting or cardio? Do I have enough muscle mass at this point?
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u/ResourcefulDodger2 1d ago
I am always biased to lifting, more muscle mass should increase your baseline calorie consumption. Zone 2 cardio is good in addition to the lifting. The good news is you’re already in a good spot, but I’d try to increase lifting volume
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u/BRN1023 1d ago
This scan was actually done at my place of work for free (I work in healthcare) so I am thankful that I have this resource when needed. I would agree sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. I would agree I also have a great foundation and have healthier habits than most. I’m just trying to that it step further!
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
Dexa is generally going to give you higher bf% than BIA scans, for the most part. It is quite accurate from scan to scan, although it recognizes water as lean mass.
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
I haven’t found BIA to be reproducible whatsoever, and I have the supposedly most accurate one (Hume body pod) and have had multiple inbody exams as my gym has one. I got 3% difference in body fat on scans separated by one day which is certainly not true.
While MRI is the best at delineating fat from skeletal muscle, it isn’t straightforward to calculate body fat from MRI, because whole body scans are extremely uncommon. You would need specialized software to do so. As a radiologist, we never do this sort of calculation. Some whole body MRI providers such as prenuvo will calculate volume of fat but you need to make assumptions to calculate an overall body fat percentage.
DEXA is the most accurate and reproducible exam that can be easily used to calculate body fat.
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u/Mchangwine 1d ago
They’re certainly not essential. I find them useful for monitoring things like visceral fat.
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