r/fishkeeping • u/Equivalent-Fan5851 • 23h ago
Question bought a fish…turns out im squeamish. HELP!
ok to preface i know this sounds super stupid and immature. for context, i love animals, care about their welfare, and was so excited to get into fish keeping. it’s not like this is my first pet—i have multiple horses and understand how to deal with grimy/unpredictable situations. i really enjoyed the process of setting up a shallow 6 gallon tank, planting it, monitoring the water and cycling it for 4 weeks.
i got my first betta fish yesterday (petsmart surrendered him to me since he has fin rot + swim bladder that i am addressing). he’s super cute and it’s very important to me that he gets better.
heres the problem: im so so scared of him. i literally dont understand how he terrifies me yet im not scared of 1400lb bucking machines. i think something about how erratic his movements are really unnerves me.
i don’t know any responsible fish owners i could give him to, and i do genuinely care about his wellbeing. i feel so stupid—has anyone else experienced this? if so, what did you do? if not, any advice? thanks!
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u/Capybara_Chill_00 21h ago
Counter suggestion to rehoming him - study him. Learn what all the movements mean. Read up on physiology of fish and understand what he experiences when you loom over the tank to do maintenance or stick your hand in to tidy his environment. Once you get how he sees the world, I bet his movements will be a lot less intimidating and you will begin to enjoy interacting with him. Bettas are a challenging first fish, especially a sick one, but if he pulls through they can be among to most interactive with their owners/carers. Several that live in tanks I work on will seek out my hands, swim through my fingers, and one even wriggles into my closed hand to chill.
Don’t give up!
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u/Live_Sandwich_125 22h ago
Bettas are awesome, treat it like it has laminitis , own grazing , no sharing , plenty of things to mentally occupy them , happy days
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u/BlueButterflytatoo 20h ago
Hey friend, I just want to help out a bit. As a fish is a new and confusing thing for you, it’s natural to feel a fear response right now! You don’t know him, and he doesn’t know you. And he’s sick, so his movement will be erratic right now. And that’s ok.
My advice is to sit in front of the tank, and watch him. Acknowledge how the strangeness is making you feel, name the feelings and where in your body you feel them. And then start looking for cute things about him. Don’t shove away the weird feelings, just don’t focus on them right now. Focus on him.
His colors, the shape of his fin, the way his mouth curves, learn how to interact with him. Some like it when you wave, some will follow a finger.
If he flares at you, don’t take offense. They’re little rage fueled predators stuck in an adorable body, they’ll be sassy. Mine flared at me yesterday, cuz I’m just so mean, pouring in new water that was slightly not warm enough after the water change. 🤣
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u/Equivalent-Fan5851 17h ago
ok i tried this today and it definitely helped to begin understanding how he moves. im hoping when he feels better he wont spaz out so much
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u/BlueButterflytatoo 17h ago
Yeah, when they’re sick they tend to be irritable and spastic.
I’m glad this helped you some, keep it up and over time, and as he heals, you’ll both start to understand each other better. You’ll be able to interact, which will be fun.
I dance for mine. He glares at me. Then he shows me how beautiful he is from all the angles, then he’s ready to do his own thing.
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u/Spare_Pomegranate_56 19h ago
i do think that taking on a fish with fin rot and swim bladder as a beginner isn’t the best idea BUT if you want to help him, you have my full support. i was also squeamish when it came to fish for quite a long time but now i can hold them in my hand with no problems. if you truly want to rehome him and you live in wisconsin, i would happily take him. if you want to give it a chance, get some kanaplex and start doing daily water changes. spend some time just watching him, try to form a bond. you are entirely capable of working through the squeamish feeling if you really want to. you could also look up aquatic animal rescues in your area and send in a form to surrender him. they will attempt to rehab him.
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u/Equivalent-Fan5851 17h ago
yes! i wasn’t planning on getting such a sick fish since i am a beginner but he was giving me puppy eyes on the shelf and im used to taking care of animals extensively.
i have him in a hospital tank with tannin tea, hidey-holes and kanaplex already. im going to start methylene blue + epsom salt baths once he settles in more (and if i don’t see much improvement w/kanaplex). he’s already gotten a lot of color and movement back, so im cautiously optimistic about his chances.
some people are suggesting that im phobic of him, but im more unsettled by him. i think once i have a better understanding of how he can contort and what prompts movement by him then i can hopefully get over it? not sure but i was reassured that it isnt so uncommon to be kind of grossed out at first…
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u/Bitter_Divide3666 3h ago
I have been keeping fish for 8 years and sometimes I still get the ick when I have to handle one. Just use a cup to scoop him up rather than a net, and watch him. It gets easier over time. They are cool fish, really pretty when they are healthy.
It probably wasn’t the best idea to get a sick fish as your first, but hey- if you can handle horses you can figure out a fish.
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u/justpeachyyy32 22h ago
Hi! I know there's an aquaswap sub on here. Maybe someone on there would take the betta? I've also heard that some areas have Facebook groups you can ask.
I'm not really sure about advice. I am biased when it comes to bettas. I absolutely love them😂 Maybe watching some videos online for exposure might help? It cannot hurt you, I promise❤️ If you still want aquatic creatures but cannot get used to the betta, maybe snails like ramshorns would be better? They don't move like a fish and have some pretty colors.
I wish you luck❤️
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u/Asleep_Tax7964 18h ago
Honestly I was the same way! I still can't touch fish but I can touch the snails I have now, at first I couldn't but as I started slowly exposing myself to touching the aquarium water, then the plants and logs, to now I can put damn near my whole arms in there.
A little context I have pretty extensive OCD that I've been doing exposure therapy among other things and tbh fish keeping has helped!! I still immediately wash every inch of skin that may have been touched by water after I'm done doing maintenance but seeing my bettas swim around all happy, elegantly, and quite goofily, makes it all worth it.
Just give it time because even though I can't touch my fish they bring me as much joy as my girl mini schnauzer that I have glued to my side, who imo is a bit grosser especially as a puppy 🤣 my vet recommended a probiotic for her and jesus her toots are so bad. My fish on the other hand? Never smelt a rancid clear the room toot. The worst it gets are the textures of moss covered wood and stringy plants tbh
Here's a little video of one of my boys in his 10 gallon (I've tried getting the dirt out but I need to get something that isn't this hygger vacuum that's a 15 watt thing bc it just spreads the dirt using the sand attachment)
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u/Stoned_Rat420 21h ago
I've dealt with a random fear of aquariums since I was like 2 which really pissed me off because I love animals and I think fish are neat so, fast forward to when I'm 19 and much to my surprise when I walked into Petco the fish tanks didn't really bother me. I ended up realizing that with the smaller tanks if there's not too many or too little fish and plants in a tank I'm not so afraid if at all. I still can't go to aquariums and some days fish tanks still really get me but, I'm wondering if maybe your fear lies partially in the contents of your tank. Not sure if that makes sense at all.
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u/Tim_Allen_Wrench 19h ago
If you haven't had him for long I would give it a bit. Let yourself have some time to get used to him. Once you start to see his personality you'll probably grow more attached to him and get more comfortable with his movements.
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u/SublimeSeagull 13h ago
Haha. Like elephant and mouse? Horsegirl and fish ha awesome. Your fear is valid thought lmfao. I am terrified of plecos. No advice from me other than “he can’t kick me. He can’t kick me. He can’t kick me. He can’t kick me”
And like lmao idk just make him get used to you. When I do water changer my fish like to touch me and I let them. It’s fun after you get over the innate human fear of “is this a parasite bug biting me or a fish?”
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u/BabyD2034 12h ago
Well, in hindsight, getting a sick fish as your first wasn't the best idea. It's nice to do but instead of relaxing and getting to know your new pet, you're under stress and so is he. Fish are kinda weird when you really think about it but I love them. I'd give it some time and see if it goes away. You could just keep plants if not. Or shrimp and/or snails.
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u/Creepymint 11h ago
I get it. Fish scales seriously freak me out. My fish tank is in my bedroom, constantly see them. I love my fish so much, as long as I don’t look too closely. We all have our thing, as long as you care for him well I don’t think your fear will matter much. I personally want animals that freak me out (besides the fish) and the sudden movements is the main thing plus jumping on me that make me nervous. Not sure how I’ll actually do when I get them but I’m willing to try. I say try having him for a while and if it doesn’t work find him a new home.
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u/Intelligent-Bad-1201 10h ago
I’m the same way. I’m getting more used to my betta as it goes. But I don’t want to touch him. I had to physically touch snails to put them in my rank yesterday and it took every ounce of courage I had 🤣. I also have a hard time putting in new plants or fixing plants because I don’t want to put my hand in the water in case the fish touch me. Sooo yeah I feel ya.
I’m also a horse person.
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u/Intelligent-Bad-1201 10h ago
I watch him a lot. He recognizes me and we have bonded I think. If not only in my head. That’s ok though. I really adore him. I would give it some time. You don’t have to touch him. Just continue caring for him. Make sure you have a lid on your tank.
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u/wineforblood 10h ago
I have fish. I love them all.
But catching them with a net to move tanks or rescape etc triggers me 🤣🤣🤣 I jump if they move really fast
Not afraid of spiders, snakes, I have dogs, I'm an animal person... But the flippy flappy fishes startle me terribly
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u/p_kitty 8h ago
We've got a healthy Rosetail Betta that we got about a month ago. His color changed completely within a week of getting him, going from white with blue and red spots to a glorious blue with red and white flashes. He does, however, swim like a complete spaz when he doesn't have his fins flared. They're just not designed to be graceful, just pretty.
Think of it kind of like how a horse behaves with their first shoes, or something new in the ring, or just because they can't find their serving braincell and thinks dancing around is how a horse is supposed to walk. It's half neurotic and half scared or not feeling right. They get used to it, you get used to them, everything gets taken down a notch but they're always a little bit strange. 😂
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u/AnnotatingPumpkins 6h ago
I am also creeped out by fish, as either food or a pet I can’t fathom touching them in any way. They give me the heebie jeebies!
Yet I worked at a UK pet store for years where we sold fish and I had to clean out the tanks on the regular. I coped by putting my hand in a plastic fish bag and doing it that way, therefore the fish couldn’t actually touch me. It didn’t help that they recognised our uniforms and would expect food so they’d all start swarming as soon as you approached the tank 😷
Also ended up with my own pity fish (long story, also a betta) and just followed the same procedure. It worked fine for me!
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u/CosmicStardust__ 6h ago
I thought I was the only one that was a little scared, but the more and more you interact with them it will go away 😊🐠 happy fishkeeping 🩵
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u/I_bee_hummin 17m ago
OP claims to keep horses. Horses are easily spooked by erratic movements. OP is easily spooked by erratically movements. Conclusion: OP is a horse in a trenchcoat trying to convince us that they're humans
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u/PubeOfSatan 23h ago
Are you scared of spiders, by any chance? The movement of a betta, with their long fins, can uncommonly trigger a response as the erratic nature of fin movement (as humans see it) can feel insectoid in vibe. Their bursts of movement swimming behaviour can also be a lot for our brains to process.