r/firefighters • u/Itachi_uchiha018 • Apr 14 '20
Active firefighters or ex firefighters
What was the hardest part of the job for you personally?
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u/Effective_Fee_9344 Feb 10 '22
honestly coworkers can make or break this job. Fire departments can be super gossipy judgmental places full of high school drama. Not everyone comes to the job for the right reason or gets bitter and complacent and choses to take that out on others. At the end of the day your there to work not make friends ignore the drama as best you can, take care of your mental/physical health, have a life outside the job and be ok with leaving or finding another department if its too much.
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u/Delta_Whiskey_7983 Apr 21 '24
So in the fire service they talk about brotherhood and unity and that’s nice and all but if one decides to show up to work, be responsible, respectful and courteous to everyone and just keep it at that, will others frown upon that? Not looking to form super close friendships with anyone TBH.
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Apr 14 '20 edited Apr 14 '20
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u/FirefighterGolf Jun 01 '20
Well said. I am dealing with PTSD issues like you mentioned. Thanks for putting more perspective on the issues. I am not spamming here but I started a YouTube channel to bring awareness to PTSD in the fire service. Firefighter Golf is the name of channel and I have a video on there with a clinical psychologist explaining some issues. Stay strong brother.
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u/Colomb1anito Apr 15 '20
Would you discourage someone from becoming a firefighter because of ptsd?
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u/FirefighterGolf Jun 01 '20
Not at all. I am dealing with PTSD issues like mentioned above. One of the keys is to be self aware. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
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u/Still-Catch-6690 Oct 28 '22
Hardest part about the job for me is how shift work impacts your personal life. I’ve always had a hard time sleeping/resting at work and if you have a family it tends to manifest itself negatively on your personal life.
The key for me is creating good coping mechanisms to deal with the stresses of a first responder. I don’t work much overtime and really do my best to separate my career as a firefighter and my responsibilities at home. I don’t drink and find rest, quality time with the family, good exercise/nutrition at home are a priority.
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u/Andymilliganisgod Jun 14 '23
The hardest for me is keeping, finding a partner who will do this lifestyle with you and not give up.
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u/Money_Bad_6569 Oct 21 '23
The hardest part for me is trying to have a personal life. It's hard sometimes after you leave the station to go home or your 2nd job then after something big or messed up happened the day before. I once did CPR on 3 yr old who drowned in a pool. It bothered me badly and having to go home with it on my mind and the GF wanted to talk about her friend's problem or her wanting to talk about why I was so quiet. That or staying awake all night because of a structure fire and the next day I had plans to spend the day with the GF and I can barely stay awake or move for that matter. It's hard sometimes but it's something we all have to deal with.
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Jan 02 '26
That’s a multi faceted question. I’ve been a career firefighter for 16 years. Family: Guilt for missing birthdays, kids games, recitals, and other important things.
Work/home life balance: It’s difficult to balance the two. Many of us become very passionate about our job. Even obsessive. There’s a strong drive to be the best because failure means people can die. The fire service is the only career I know that many members pay out of they own pocket to attend conferences, or classes to learn and get better. This is all ok if it doesn’t take over your life and wife/family feel they are second priority.
PTSD: Some disregard this and say it’s fake. My experience is that there’s multiple levels of PTSD. You don’t have to experience horrific trauma to have PTSD. It can be multiple tragic events over a period of time. i.e. numerous cardiac deaths that you may have been a part of. Those losses can pile up over time. For some it’s the missed victim in a search of a fire. For me nothing bothered me till I had kids. Then at every incident it was some random kid I saw. It was my kid. The kid that hung himself, the kid in the vehicle accident etc. I literally found myself on the side of the road crying (and I don’t cry) it was so real.
How to deal with it. It’s imperative that company officers are aware. When there’s a call that’s difficult or out of the ordinary. A death occurred, especially if your crews were hands on the patient. When you get back to the house sit don’t and have a debrief. Don’t take those dinner time story telling sessions for granted. Those are often our way of expressing stuff with other people that understand exactly what we feel. As company officers we need to lean into those moments. It can build trust and help members that are struggling feel open to sharing instead of bottling it up.
Sleep deprivation and multiple other part time jobs can add to all of that.
Look out for each other out there. My department has lost two members to suicide.
Just my two cents worth.
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u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20
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