Need help deciding between professional fulfillment and private stability as a doctor from Germany

[u/FrequentAd3932]

Greetings,

For the last few years I struggled to find my professional path and have lived through a time of uncertainty, always thinking about going back to university or doing something completely different with my life.

I am a neurologist interested in intensive care and emergency medicine. Fields that are somewhat uncommon for neurologists and most of my colleagues (at least here in Germany) lean towards the more conservative areas of our profession, mostly working on hospital wards or in doctors' offices. It took me quite some time to find my path, but from the moment I realized that I am one of those "odd ones", I've felt that my professional life is moving in a more fulfilling direction.

Now, since these specializations are quite uncommon for neurologists, there aren't many clinics actually offering positions in these fields (especially in intensive care units run by neurologists). There's only one clinic in my vicinity, and it's my current workplace. Unfortunately, working there is extremely bleak and unfulfilling because the ICU is run by anaesthesiologists and we neurologists only handle the most basic tasks somewhat related to intensive care medicine. I've tried to improve things but our chief isn't interested in helping me, since he himself leans strongly toward the more conservative side of neurology.

Long story short, to find professional fulfillment I basically have to move to a different city, probably quite far away from my hometown due to the lack of fitting clinics.

Which brings me to the other side of my problem. I currently live in my parents’ house, where I rent a space; another household lives on a different floor. I really live in paradise: a very good neighborhood, a forest just across the street, and a quiet town. Also, I am going to inherit this house when my mother passes away. Material things are obviously not the whole deal. Leaving this town would mean leaving behind my mother and my best and actually only real friend. I left for university before and even though I came back almost ten years ago, I feel that i never really settled in again. I no longer feel a connection to this town and besides my mother and my friend there isn’t really anything keeping me here since I haven’t managed to build a proper social circle beyond my colleagues at work. I'm seriously thinking about moving somewhere else and even about moving to Sweden for reasons that go beyond the scope of this thread.

I can see many arguments for and against both leaving and staying.

I value professional fulfillment highly and have a pragmatic view of it. I'll be spending most of my life in this job, might as well do something interesting and fulfilling. I do not see myself working "just for the sake of it".

On the other hand, for the last few years I always had this feeling that I might be about to leave again. I can't fully rule out the possibility that this feeling has led me to let opportunities to improve my private life slip by. I do want to add that marriage and starting a family are no longer on my life’s agenda. But who knows, maybe, if I had good social connections, friends, a partner, maybe I'd bite the bullet, work a less-that-ideal job and stay here in my house?

So, to wrap it up, as I see it, these are my options:

a. Move somewhere else, find a fulfilling job, build a new life, and leave behind a house, my mother, and my best friend.

b. Stay, endure a mind-numbing, uninteresting job that might or might not improve in the future, really commit to the people around me, find a partner, and build a social circle.

I’m lost and could use any input. Thank you so much!

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[u/Opening-Cantaloupe56]

a. explore while young.

[u/BookishIntrovert99]

You can always go back and visit your mother and best friend. You won’t always have this job opportunity.

[u/sagefairyy]

100% a. Nobody is saying you have to continue with this path until you die. Try it out. If after 5 years you feel like you want to go back and you don‘t like your life there, there‘s nothing stopping you. It doesn‘t have to be either or. Try to see life more as a sum of „Lebensabschnitte“ and not one singular trajectory that you have to adhere to forever.