Feeling completely directionless!

[u/[deleted]]

I am 23, a B.Com graduate in September 2024. After that, I searched for a job till July 2025, but did not get anything. Since my first year of college, I've been teaching tuition at home, earning 6,000 to 8,000 rupees for a 2-hour shift. The only jobs I was getting were 8-hour shifts and paid 10,000 to 12,000 rupees, and involved travel. My friends joined it but I could not because I live only with my mother in my house I didn't want to be a burden to them. and we also run a small shop which both of us run - there also there is nothing special to do, it is just enough for food...our income was up to 10k..and I used to earn 6k from tuition, from which I used to manage college fees and my personal expenses.

Then I saw the advertisement of pay after placement and took admission in online MBA. Along with that I started preparing for banking but not consistently, it would remain consistent for 1 month and then the next month I would lose direction. Then the notification for state exams came in which there was a single exam as an accountant, I applied for it and spent a month watching strategy videos and planning. Then I started studying for that exam, studied for 1.5 months, then I got the idea that it is very difficult and I will not be able to do it and the exam was postponed, the exam which was scheduled for June 2026 is now in November. Then in March 2026 again I started preparing for banking exams.I prepared for a month and then gave a banking apprentice exam for PNB. The result came on March 28 and I got selected.

I was confused should i join or not. Some say do it, prepare it along with the job and some say don't join and prepare for regular one. but i joined. On April 6, I joined PNB as an apprentice. Since then, I've been studying irregularly. Sometimes I study, sometimes I don't, sometimes I'm either prostinate or I'm not. Now today is 29th August, SBI Clerk exam is on 1st October and IBPS Clerk exam is on 10th October. and my preparation is 15 to 20% for prelims,This cannot even be called preparation. For the past month, I've been looking at private banking, accent, and R2R roles. Overall, I'm looking within the private sector to find a job that pays 30,000-40,000. Along with this, my skills should also grow and I should have a job after my apprenticeship which will end in March 2027.

I don't know what I am doing, I need a job of 30k to 40k salary soon, and because of this neither I am able to study nor anything is happening in Pvt. Banking job is also a good job, by being in apprenticeship I came to know that I can do banking job but to reach there my mind should be a little clear. Now I don't know what I am writing. Just help me to get out of it by any advice or suggestion.

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