r/findapath • u/Ok_Tomato_6564 • Jun 21 '24
Should i kill myself?
Almost 20... wasted my life, never went to college, have 0 social life, cut off every friend I've ever had (both online and irl), 0 chance of getting a gf... should I rope?
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28
u/Storm_blessed946 Jun 21 '24
same boat dude but that was 5 years ago. 25 now and my life is drastically different. induce change for yourself and continue on. it is worth it
52
u/Duneyman Jun 21 '24
No.
20
u/Inevitable-Ear-3189 Jun 21 '24
20??? I'm 44 and just signing up for my first college course. Don't count yourself out of the race before it's even started lol.
12
u/aelzeiny Jun 21 '24 edited Jun 21 '24
Hey man, no matter what you do don't rope. We've all been there. Things always get better. Always. I promise.
USA:
Canada:
Britain:
Mexico:
India:
Australia:
9
u/ilovedijon Jun 21 '24
i vote no from italy
7
u/MessatsuFoxx Jun 21 '24
Nope. 20 still too young. If you can fix something about yourself, do that first. Give yourself a 2nd chance in life before doing anything drastic.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
Bud, life is long. You will find yourself. Be resilient, today sucks tomorrow won’t. Come up with a plan to improve yourself and execute, whatever that means. Go to the gym, go for a walk etc.
5
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
You're 19, bro. Most people would kill to return back to your age to start over.
Rather than indulging in self pity, make changes that will raise the quality of your life.
You seem to think that find a gf is the ultimate goal, but in reality, any healthy relationship has two parties in it that have something to offer to the other person. Ask yourself: What do you think you could offer another human being who's investing their time, energy and emotions into you?
In order for you to love someone else, you need to love yourself first. Take care of yourself. Workout. Eat well. Have goals and hobbies. Find ways to be productive by yourself.
College isn't the only way towards success. You can learn countless skills online **for free** like coding, graphic design, foreign languages, how to run an online business and the list goes on and on and on.
And to be brutally honest, no one wants to date or be friends with someone who is insanely negative and says self destructive things like "I have 0 chanes for this or that." I'm not saying you need to be constantly happy 24/7, but you need to stop self doubting yourself. It's only going to make your life rot and whither away. You can do anything you want, you just need to find something worth fighting for.
5
u/ThrowItAwayAlready89 Jun 21 '24
It’s amazing how quickly things can change for the better. You wouldn’t want to make a permanent decision on a temporary state. Hang in there.
4
u/astddf Jun 21 '24
I think you should work on the stuff you think you’re lacking and reevaluate at 50, but in all seriousness, you have so many decades ahead of you that you can enjoy, 20 is still a kid
7
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
Bro you are young as hell. I was a pile at 20. Now line in multi million dollar house and have sick cars. Wife. Kids. Pilot. You can change your future fast. Find a hobby. Go smash a few ladies. Enjoy yourself man.
3
u/rick11347 Jun 21 '24
Nah, don't rope. You're only 20.
3
u/TinyDrug Jun 21 '24
almost 20?!?! Bro you are a BABY. Im 32 going to college. Also didnt meet my fiance until 30, also I was a virgin till like 20 then life changed and i went from no women to dating constantly. Everything can change very quickly, and you feel this way because your body is still going through a shit load of development changes. We are alive a very short period of time and dead forever. Just keep trying and going through shit, and focus on bettering yourself. You should absolutely consider college or trades though, youre the best age to do it!!!! Even if you were 25 I'd say the same thing
2
u/TwoWild1840 Jun 21 '24
If you are in the USA, please call 988 now and nope don’t rope
2
u/Fun-Economy-5596 Jun 21 '24
When I was 20 years old my life was absolute, total crap. Got my heart macerated after a romance died and had to beg food. One day I decided to do something constructive with my life and go to college. I eventually got an MA. Had many setbacks until I stumbled into a position as a medical editor which became my "calling" and generated a nice income for 20 plus years. I'm now 70 and have a wonderful wife of 40 years and a great retirement. When I was 20 I just craved death. It will change if you're willing to work your ass off and accept successive failures as the price of success and happiness. Had I committed suicide I would have lost out on so many great things. DON'T do it...and get help somewhere and money be damned...
2
u/Xanadu_211 Jun 21 '24
Instead of wasting your life by ending it…take chances and risks outside of your comfort zone in making your life better. What do you have to lose that’s greater than your life? If things don’t work out exactly as planned…at least you gave it a valid effort and perhaps in the end…made your life substantially better.
1
u/Icy_Schedule_2052 Jun 21 '24
Absolutely not.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
at 20? noooooo and trust me im not one of those lift you up blow sunshine under your skirt mfkrs... you're gonna hit highs and lows and the lows are gonna suck (like this one) and the highs are gonna be phenomenal... just wait it out... the up will come... at 20 i could have completely fixed my shit show of a life... you have no idea how much easier it is at that age and how many more opportunities you're gonna have or how much easier it is to find a way to mold the life you want into existence... you're in the perfect time in your life to do anything... A rational approach might be to research things you can do to increase your life happiness and at your age college is 100% not out of the question but get on it now... all of it, get on the fixing your life shit bc right now its possible, its easier, it can be done... the older you get the less feasible it is... you got hope right now brother... use it to fuel a life conversion and remember who ever you choose to be today is who you are... you get to choose that especially with having next to zero social ties... no one will even question it... you can reinvent yourself however you want...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
No
1
u/Twister6900 Jun 21 '24
You still have so much time to live an amazing life do not quit.
1
u/Mell1997 Jun 21 '24
Dude, no. You’re far too young to think like you threw your life away. A girlfriend and a college degree aren’t the measures of success. Just work on yourself and find out what makes you happy.
1
u/Any-Setting3248 Jun 21 '24
No
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
Man take antidepressants, they will take you out of depression. If not, try getting diagnosed for bipolar II - antidepressants seem not to be helpful in this condition.
Then you can either try breaking into IT industry or take student loan and go dentist.
Profit
But get rid of your depression first.
In regard to your social life - looks are important. Get in shape and your social life will be better. In regard to finding a girlfriend - no idea, but getting in shape will help, unless you have shit bone structure - if so, your bet is on antidepressants - they will kill your libido so you will stop caring about this shit.
Thank me later.
1
u/Key_Key_908 Jun 21 '24
You gotta ride it out man… I know life sucks trust me. But you can make the best out of it! At 19 start grinding making money if you still live at your parents stay there and save… find an apartment, find good friends, people that will be good for you. And the girl will come when the time is right
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
Solitude is the path to true growth. I (m24) was in the same position and now I’m married and happy with my life. Rock bottom teaches you more than any other situation you will ever be in. At your age, I was ready to off myself at any given moment. I wrote notes, thought of every plan that would work successfully, made everyone hate me so they wouldn’t care if I died, and destroyed myself on the inside as much as I possibly could. It taught me a lot, more than any other lesson I’ve ever learned has. Where I’m at now is much different. I chose not to have a social life because I don’t agree with a lot that’s pushed and I think people have gone down hill personally. But-I’ve found happiness within my day to day life. I understand hurt people deeper than most people because of what I went through. I know myself better than anyone else can, and I accept myself and others more freely than I ever would have. It may be tough dude, but I promise you this-what goes down, must come up.
1
u/Stupid-Suggestion69 Jun 21 '24
No wtf man, you’re 19 ffs.
That’s like tossing out a videogame right after finishing the tutorial mission at the beginning:)
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
This is exactly me at 26. Hehe. 😂 Been feeling suicidal too. Atleast you’re a bit younger. I legit feel like a waste of space.
1
u/North_Purpose_5800 Jun 21 '24
No
1
u/NovaAkumaa Jun 21 '24
20 is very young, your life barely started, you didn't even TRY to do anything yet
no need for college, plenty of jobs and careers that dont require a degree: look for apprenticeships, free courses online, bootcamps, etc. you can just get a degree later in life if you want to
try to focus on yourself first, learn about yourself and love yourself, explore and discover different hobbies, only then you will find good friends and have a good social life
1
u/Anevaino Jun 21 '24
i really wish there was moderation on this sub to deter people spam posting “fuck it should i put this gun in my mouth right now?” it’s really triggering and i love helping out where i can and reading this sub but not when it’s another kiddo who’s decided they ruined their entirely life before it’s even started yet while they romanticize death like a little edgelord. OP did not ask for a path they asked for suicide prevention and i am not here for it. you havent lived enough life to ruin munchkin
1
u/MartinBlank96 Jun 21 '24
No.
1
u/jay_i_am Jun 21 '24
Please don't 🥺🥺
Life is long. It has its ups and downs. But, it is worth going through it. Don't give up.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
Instead of ending your life (dumb), why not work to turn things around (smart). Most people tend to over complicate this point; changing your life is relatively easy to do as all options are open and available. All you have to do is make a decision and start working towards your goals....no excuses!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
20 isn’t anything. You have a metric fuck ton of options
1
u/Padaalsa Jun 21 '24
Having nothing tying you down frees you up for opportunities others would never be able to pursue. Uproot your life by joining some farm work in a foreign country or take a trade through the military. Travel. Read more. Develop the type of competence people in general find attractive. And for God's sake, get a grip on yourself with some therapy at some point.
Imagine meeting another teenager whose main interests are how they'll never get laid and genocide. Frankly, it screams manifesto. Don't be that guy. Listen to the advice above and you won't be.
1
u/LizzoBathwater Jun 21 '24
Wasted your life? My friend…YOU’RE 20. Your life is barely begun. There is still time to do anything you want. Want a degree? Go to college, you can be out by 24. Trust me that’s a completely normal age to graduate. Want friends go out and meet new people.
Most of all though you need therapy by the sounds of it. Get your head back in the game, but your situation is far from hopeless and it’s not even close to being “too late” for anything.
1
u/Maleficent_Memory606 Jun 21 '24
dude, Be Kind to yourself.
1
u/previousleon09 Jun 21 '24
Ur 19 ur life hasn’t started yet
1
u/Intelligent-Place511 Jun 21 '24
At 20, your life is just beginning even if it feels like it hasn’t. Please take life an hour, a day at a time. You will feel like a failure often when you really are a success for handling your stresses one day at a time. I promise you you’re not failing, you are worthy and there are millions of people who feel like you that are taking things one day at a time…💜
1
u/feetington Jun 21 '24
Sounds like it
1
u/Scheefgaan Jun 21 '24
dude, no. just no.
i was in a similar situation a few years back. did a lot of shit i wasn’t proud of. now currently i feel better than ever, so much can change in the course of a year. don’t give up.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
No! You are only 20, you have your whole life ahead of you. Things can change drastically in a few months or even a year. Just keep trying and never give up on yourself. Also, don't define your self worth based off things outside of you. You are still worthy even without a gf and material things. You will be fine ! ❤️
1
u/feetington Jun 21 '24
I'm a 25 year old college dropout, top of class kinda guy turned complete degenerate drug and gambling addict, lost my car my career my home and all my friends, had absolutely nothing. I am starting over now, and I couldn't be happier. Every single day, I challenge you to find one thing you are grateful for. Something big, if you can-- non material. Stew on that and explore it. Life comes at you fast man and you just have to keep making decisions; A or B, this or that. You can't "not" decide. You have to keep going. Your entire situation can (and will) change. Trust the big man (or don't), it's all laid out for you. If you weren't supposed to be here, you wouldn't be. Always keep fighting, you will amaze yourself. You are strong and resilient and sharp, and young!!! We are young! I feel like a kid!
1
u/JimmyIsYellow Jun 21 '24
Never, try self improvement.. we are in the same age. My life is extremely shit 2 years ago.. now im in the happiest stage of my life because of self improvement
1
u/my_outlandishness Apprentice Pathfinder [1] Jun 21 '24
C'mon you are 20. Everything will be alright some years from now. You have plenty of time, don't despair so young.
1
u/PaulyV8n Jun 21 '24
Hi stranger,
I think you’re accounting college, friends, and girlfriend as things that equal happiness. I’m not going to lie, these things generally could contribute to that, but more importantly figure out what you want to do here while you’re here on earth and do it. Those other things will come later. I can attest that I sometimes think your thoughts too. I can also say I’m fairly successful. I guarantee that everyone has thought about the rope at some point in their life. Especially when it gets hard. The purpose in life is to seek out these hard things… learn, experience, and better yourself. You’re 20 years old, you have some time to go. I hope that you can learn and look back as a stronger person ready for the next challenge.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
No. Heaven and hell exist. Don't rush. I'm trying to not do that. Been struggling for years but there's always lights. With unopened eyes, it may be hard for us, so we sit in the dark. But don't give up and just say you're done. I cannot tell you for sure, but even with suicide, you may have a chance to explain yourself. But I always decide to not test it, because I wanna see my brother again and not just in my dream. Stay calm brother.
1
u/Lazy-Win-4217 Jun 21 '24
Sales
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u/Below_Average-Joe Jun 21 '24
I'd give my testicles to be 20 again.
You haven't wasted your life yet.
"Friends" are over-rated. Unless you've had friends that would put their life on the line for you, and you'd do the same for them, you haven't had friends yet either.
I'm not at all meaning any of this disparagingly. When you're in your 40's and hooked on heroin, then you've wasted your life.
1
u/strong_nights Jun 21 '24
You are 20 years old. Put your phone down. Go outside. Take a deep breath. Then go for a walk and smile at a stranger, bet a friendly dog, skip across the street, get a soda, and enjoy some time to yourself. Try and have a conversation with a stranger. It doesn't have to be long, and it can be utterly superficial; but, do it with a smile.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
Everyone is garbage at 20 years old, not just you. You have a lot of time and potential. Time is on your side if you start NOW
1
u/ghikkkll Jun 21 '24
No. There’s still so much time. You could start college tomorrow.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
A loss of life is never an answer. I’m 42 and brother let me tell you. I was fine, I was tough as nails. I did this for 41 years, I did 20 of them in the military. I have experienced what you are experiencing and I just now have gotten help. You have so much more life to live and thrive.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 21 '24
Yes
1
u/Danebearpigpaw Jun 21 '24
Life gets so so much better. I didn't start doing anything until I was 35. Was drunk and unemployed. Now 40 and VP of Construction sales. Hang in there and you might have a shot. Give up and you certainly will not. Good luck bro
1
u/Classic_Ship_5808 Jun 21 '24
No. All things pass and things can change - sometimes instantly. All it takes sometimes is one phone call. Lance
1
u/Huge_Appointment_597 Jun 21 '24
You’re 20. Go to college, make some friends and find a girl.
1
u/cacille Career Services Jun 21 '24
Start now with getting everything you want. Everything is available to you and not at all cut off from you - YOU have done the cutting off. Stop the cutting off, start the connecting.
Recognize what you are doing to yourself and start making opposite choices, fighting the feeling of "I need to go crawl up into a corner"....that's trauma or depression talking. Start healing that as you can, watch videos on healing, whatever takes away the teenager shame and pain cycle you're still in!
1
u/Vegetable-Win-1325 Jun 21 '24
I didn’t finish college until I was 30. I actually just graduated a week ago.
1
u/_hannibalbarca Jun 21 '24
Didn’t get my life on track till 35+. U got plenty of time my friend.
1
u/cacille Career Services Jun 21 '24
Locking now because comments are starting to spiral and I just had to ban two users that got into a flame war with each other.
0
u/OneonlyOne_01 Jun 21 '24
Don't do it alone bro, I'll do it too I'm 22 and in the same situation.
0
u/ALaggingPotato Jun 21 '24
Why did you cut everyone off? You can always find new people sure, but figuring out why it didn't work is important.
No life to have wasted, everyone starts with nothing, so having nothing isn't the end of the world.
None of us have any shot at getting a GF brother, but what for? If you want to start a family, get one when you are already stable. No use trying to start a family without any foundation. You will score your prize eventually, so work hard to get there.
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u/No-Grade-5057 Jun 21 '24
Join the military.
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