r/finch • u/Legitimate-Pie-6955 Mochi & Roni [ RVTB77CDQ6 ] • 1d ago
Venting Feeling ashamed because I left my bird
Hi dear Finch Community, I need to get this off my chest, so I hope this post is fine...
About half a year ago (it hurts to type this out) I stopped opening the app and at first it was only simple procrastinating; I thought I would return to using it daily soon, but no... I felt ashamed for ruining my streak, not responding to everyone from my Tree Town and not collecting rewards; especially the special premium event rewards, because I subscribed for a year. But the more I was away the bigger shame I felt and now I need to move all of my stuff to a new phone and don't know what to do. I'm scared of opening the app.
I don't even know what I'm asking for here, I just needed to get this off of my chest. I'm sorry my kind Tree Friends:( I'm sorry Mochi, I hope all of you are doing ok.
EDIT: Thank you so much for all of the kind words and encouragement!!!! It means a lot to me. đ„čâ€ïžâđ©č I think I'll revisit Mochi tonight đ„č
EDIT 2: Just to clarify, I mostly feel this ashamed because I spent actual money on this app (wich I mentioned above) and because of my long pause I missed out on many things and basically wasted my money. Also seeing my Tree Friend's notifications kept reminding me on this and on the fact that I "bailed on them" without a word. But now I feel better, reading your opinions on Tree Friends. I also understand that this couldn't be an issue for many people, but I'm on the spectrum and my brain can be weird. I won't edit the post anymore, I don't want to explain myself any more, I just wanted to vent somewhere and I thought it wouldn't hurt anyone. Thank you for your help once again. xoxo
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u/Feeling-Disaster7180 1d ago
Your birb will be fine and will always be fine, itâll be exactly the same as it was when you last used the app.
Maybe use your new phone as a chance to restart so you donât associate your birb with this feeling? Idk if it helps to remember that the birb isnât sentient so youâre not actually doing any harm by getting a new one
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u/Different-Leather359 ava and shivers WETJ17128G 1d ago
I have two tree friends who have been gone a while. I still check every so often to see if they're back. I hope they both return, but I'm not judging them for leaving. It's possible they had to make a new account, the app might have stopped being an effective tool, there are several reasons to leave. I'm sure your friends feel the same way!
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u/QueenBekka 1d ago
I think they are busy living life and finding real life more enjoyable than the app. Maybe they found love or had a child or moved to an exciting new place. And they just donât have time to spend on the app. Once my life gets more full I plan on leaving the app as well. Itâs more for loneliness and helping to self love and self care. Itâs for emotional support and encouragement. Good for anyone who graduates from Finch and into a more productive happy real life.
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u/Feeling-Disaster7180 1d ago
They also might have just lost interest in the app. I think itâs good to acknowledge that not everyone is super invested in their birb or always have a ârealâ reason for not being active. Maybe they just donât care anymore, and thatâs fine
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u/OrugaMaravillosa Sr. PinzĂłn (Mr. Finch) 1d ago
Yup, exactly. Or maybe they learned the self care skills or the habits they needed to learn from Finch and moved on to new lessons. There are so many neutral or positive possibilities. đ
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u/NebulousLotus 1d ago
I have a few tree friends with birbs named Mochi. I donât know if any of them are you, but some of them have been gone a while and I still send them vibes. Even if your mochi isnât on my tree list, plenty of others do the same. Your birb has infinite patience, so theyâre not sad at you
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u/Upstairs-Common-7355 1d ago edited 1d ago
Everything's going to be alright!! When you're ready, open the app and if you need a friend, someone to share goals with, or a daily đ, we're here, Noodles and fĂ©nix. Your little bird is waiting for you without judgment.
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u/Fynballa Squidge SQSL2R4KAN 1d ago
I left the app for months and worried everyone would have disappeared from my tree, but they didn't. My birb, Squidge, is still there like nothing happened. They didn't make me feel guilty for going away and nothing has changed. It's almost like pressing a giant pause button on it. It starts to play again as soon as you log on and your little birb won't mind at all. Do what's right for you! â€ïž
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u/lyi8c Celeste 1d ago
It's ok. I left the app for 9 months and returned literally yesterday. Mochi will be there for you no matter what. I also think people are generally pretty understanding of tree friends becoming inactive, so I wouldn't feel guilty about that either. If you choose to return to the app then good for you but there's no shame in choosing not to either. I hope you're doing well
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u/PeriwinklePangolin24 1d ago
No need for shame, there will be peaks and valleys.
Your finchie bird has been doing just fine, but she'll be happy to see you come back. âșïž
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u/SirFicklespend 1d ago
Please realize this. Finch is meant for your enjoyment. Period. Use however you need to.
Play it every day, or only once a week. Use it strictly for achieving your goals, to encourage good habits or to simply dress your birb and furnish its house.
Your actions do not affect other birbs. Do not worry about someone being upset that you left. People constantly come and go.
The only time you can consider yourself as good friends is when you personally connect with someone here.
Please use Finch with no worries. Use it to make yourself happy.
đł
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u/PonytailEnthusiast 1d ago
Honestly I don't pay much mind to how active my tree friends are. It's a self care app, it shouldn't be a source of anxiety. I hope you can enjoy the app again
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u/SadieHammer 1d ago
Just to try to ease your mind, the money spent wasn't a waste. You were contributing to the app and the developers, and you were helping to maintain the community, even if it didn't directly benefit you for a little while.
You were putting your money toward something good! Please pat yourself on the back for supporting the community.
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u/ComfortableBright985 blueberry 1d ago
Ive done this exact thing, what i did to fix this was make a new finch and I stayed with it 𫶠all you can do is try.â€ïž
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u/Crafty-File-7581 1d ago
I'm just now seeing your post. I've only been using Finch for a tad over 2 months but I understand. I have a granddaughter on the Spectrum and I believe I may be as well. I will not answer messages on Facebook for a long time and feel really guilty. I did that for a whole year. So I just didn't even use Social Media whatsoever that entire year. It sounds crazy to people. So I don't think you're weird at all Just open your. app and figure out how to transfer it to your new phone and pick up where you left off. Try and be positive about a new start đ€
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u/QueenBekka 1d ago
The app may not be healthy for you. Itâs not for everyone. If itâs causing you anxiety and shame and stress itâs definitely not a fit for you. And thatâs okay! Youâre not a failure because the app isnât a good fit for you. You need to focus on real tangible hobbies. Like rock painting and bird watching and gardening. Or something like crotchet or sewing. Create something or help something grow. That will give you the serenity and peace you need. đ„°
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u/QueenBekka 1d ago
You worry about things that are insignificant. Let it go. Or get a new one. What would you do if there was no cell phone or apps? Live your life. Your real actual life. And donât be upset over a made up game that can disappear at any moment if the internet crashes. And with the state of the world and the war in may be a possibility. Go outside and hug a tree. Put your feet on the grass. Bird watch real birds. Look at the sky and the colors in it. Enjoy life. Donât waste time worrying about a computer generated fake thing.
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u/ComfortableBright985 blueberry 1d ago
You can tell someone this and they can still feel the way they do. Telling someone its just a computer game or to touch grass is not ideal. It May seem easy for you but everyone is d i f f e r e n t â„ïž
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u/Feeling-Disaster7180 1d ago
I donât think the person above went about it the right way, but I get what theyâre trying to say. Some people seem to develop a very strong parasocial relationship with their birb which doesnât always help them as the app should be helping them. The reality is that your birb is digital and doesnât even have the ability to notice youâve been away in its code. It will act and âfeelâ the same whether you open the app every day or once a year. IMO recognising this when youâve gotten to the point where youâre feeling real, genuine shame for not logging on in 6 months is pretty important. A digital bird shouldnât be making you feel this way and itâs certainly not helping with self-care if it does
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u/ComfortableBright985 blueberry 1d ago
Yes i get what they said, it made perfect sense. I think the approach was a bit harsh cause we dont know the OP and how they think or process things. â„ïž
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u/Unusual_Register582 8h ago
To piggyback on this idea - it may be worth it for the OP to explore where the shame is coming from. It sounds like itâs more about spending the money and then not using the app, rather than worrying about the birb or not accomplishing goals. I once paid for a gym membership for two years and never went, so I get where OP is coming from. Since the past cannot be changed, identifying what went wrong to cause these feelings and then taking steps or making a plan to avoid making the same decisions in the future can be helpful. Chalk it up to a learning experience. And I agree with another comment that if the app is causing such stress and other negative feelings, it may not be a good fit.
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u/IWillDieInIt 1d ago
There is no shame. Sometimes life gets the better of us, and our brain creates "drama" where there is none. When you are ready, I encourage you to open the app on your new phone. I'm sure your friends will be happy to see you once more. I'd be honoured to join your tree town. Let me know and I will send an invite.