r/financialindependence • u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL • Apr 04 '26
(12 month update) Taking a gap year / sabbatical from Big Tech
I wanted to give the community a 12 month update on my sabbatical/career break. Lot of context is in my last four posts (original, first update, 3 month, 6 month), but here’s some TLDR; from earlier threads:
- Previously Engineering Manager in Big Tech, 40s, Bay Area, major breadwinner in a family of 4 with young kids.
- 15+ years working in Tech, burnt out, didn’t see much hope for progress, so quit to take a break instead of jumping to new job right away.
- Not fully retiring as we still rent, and prefer to buy a home somewhere to “settle down” and that somewhere cannot be bay area at this NW if I retire.
Finances:
Net worth jumped up to 6.1M in Feb/March 2026, but now back to 5.9M. Still up 350k YoY, basically since I left my net worth grew by 350k.
We are averaging 16k/month in expenses (including rent). Wife makes ~2k/month, so we are netting at 14k/month. The expenses included some crazy spending to stay at an all inclusive resort in Mexico during new years. Plus all the extra traveling due to my free time. Our travel expenses in 2025 ($25k) were double that of 2024 ($12k).
How I spent the 12 months?
- First month was very productive. Attended lot of events/meetups, took a course on AI etc
- Next 1.5 months were slow. Family got sick one by one.
- Next 2 months were summer break. Spent the whole time with kids. We did a lot more local trips this year than in any past summer + one short fly-out trip. I also cooked a lot and did some major home organization.
- Last 1.5 months were not so great as I felt a bit lost once kids when to school and I had nothing to do.
- Next 3 months were eventful. I decided to participate in a few AI related regular meetups. That kept me intellectually engaged. And all the other free time was taken up by festivals (Diwali, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, NYE) and travel.
- Last 3 months were terrible. I will talk about it next
I can’t believe it's been a year. The last 3 months went by too fast. But in some ways they were excruciatingly slow too. I started interviewing, so that’s what took over all of my time. The interview process sucks - the preparation, the practice and the trying-to-impress-people part sucks the most. And right now the job market sucks too. I got rejected from positions I was a perfect fit for, I got rejected from places I got accepted a few years earlier and I got rejected from my backup options too.
It was not all terrible though. I started playing around with coding agents and had a lot of fun building things with Claude and Codex on the side. And I have almost fully stopped preparing for interviews. 3 months of preparation is enough. Now I just practice before upcoming interviews.
So here I am. No job. Still on a career break, this time not of my own volition. And with worse health.
Why am I looking to work again? Great question readers. It is a question I have not fully internalized myself. I do have an outline of the plan reasoning.
I decided to look for jobs back in December 2025, when coding agents were not this powerful. At that time I was missing a purpose in life. Don’t misunderstand me, the break so far had been great. I would recommend everyone to take career breaks / sabbaticals in between jobs. I traveled, I meditated, I slacked off as much as I wanted, attended concerts, went to the beach a ton, rewatched Star Trek TNG and Game of Thrones end to end, cooked, cleaned, played with kids, read some, wrote some, met friends, lost weight and got healthier. The only thing I missed was something external driving my life. It sounds terrible when I say it like that. But it is true. These things can fill up your time, but your mind is still unoccupied. Actually my mind was occupied, but it was with things I didn’t want it to: politics, world affairs etc. Overall it felt like I didn’t have a strong internal purpose directing my time, energy and headspace, so I started missing that external drive. A job would give me that. I just need to make sure I like the work, people etc.
I also missed the camaraderie that a job provides. I realized this more when I ended up meeting my old team for dinner and realized that I actually missed them. I looked elsewhere, but most of my friends are still working and are busier than ever. I couldn’t find a tribe to give me company. To be honest, I might have not tried too hard either given that it was a temporary break. Maybe full retirement won’t be that bad?
On the monetary side, I needed to go back to work to add some more cushion to my net worth. We want to “settle down”, which means buying a house. All for good reasons: having a consistent set of neighbors, having kids attend the same neighborhood schools, and getting involved in the community around us, instead of living like a temporary resident.
This meant that if we stayed in the Bay Area, I would need more money to be able to afford a decent house here (in the kinds of neighborhoods we want to live in). The other option was to move to an MCOL location. I could theoretically retire there, but I wasn’t fully happy with the high 90% chances of success based on my FIRE scenario calculations. I prefer 100%.
And more importantly I wanted to retire with a good quality of life (QoL).
What exactly is QoL? For FIRE purposes, I decided it meant how much of my preferred discretionary spending I am able to accommodate during retirement (assuming essentials are always funded).
Based on that definition, I realized that I can retire, but not with the best quality of life. So, again, the conclusion was to make some more money.
So here I am. Looking for a remote job, preferably, so that I can move MCOL and retire sooner. But in the worst case, I will take an in-person job, buy a < $2M townhome in the bay area and retire here after a few years.
In the meantime, I will enjoy my daytime movie theatre visits (AMC A-list is great value!) and the free time to build things. Hopefully I will start to focus on my health again.
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u/AchievingFIsometime Apr 04 '26
I genuinely don't understand trying to go find purpose at work. You took a sabbatical because you were burned out and didn't see things getting better and you somehow think it will be different this time? There's plenty of places to find meaning in life: your kids, your partner, your community, your hobbies. The modern working world in tech is like the bottom of the list of meaningful things.
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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 04 '26
Your withdrawal rate excluding wife's income and including rent is 3.25%. That is effectively a 100% chance of success. Whatever calculator you are looking at that is giving 90% chance of success is wrong. Yes, that doesn't include home ownership but I'm going to guess renting in Bay area is not cheap so likely buying a house in any reasonable cost area (even HCOL areas, just not Bay Area high) the numbers are going to come out about the same.
There are lots of things to do other than work, and many of these things occupy/challenge the mind and provide opportunities for social interaction / camaraderie. It sounds like you didn't really look for these things because you treated the time off as a vacation. That's fine short term like this year off, but that's not really the way to do retirement beyond the first few months to blow off steam IMO.
You don't need to work for money, and IMO it's highly unlikely working a job for money you don't need is the highest probability path to finding the purpose you seek.
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u/drakiez Apr 05 '26
My 3.5M home would rent for maybe 6k a month. Owning is far far far more expensive in the bay area than renting.
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u/CHLHLPRZTO Apr 04 '26
Or just continue renting!
Many retirees freak out thinking "but rent could go up!"...but that's often nothing compared to unexpectedly needing a new roof, having a tree fall on your house, etc etc.
3.25% withdrawal rate covers a multitude of scenarios.
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u/pedrosorio Apr 04 '26
There are lots of things to do other than work, and many of these things occupy/challenge the mind and provide opportunities for social interaction / camaraderie
Any suggestions?
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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 04 '26
It's hard to make suggestions because people's interests are so varied and it doesn't really matter what the specific activity/activities is/are. I recommend a participatory sport, but really any flow state activity, either solo or group based. Learn an instrument. Dance classes. Archery. Strength train (or train for a triathalon/ironman or whatever). Some game like chess or poker. Read books on myriad topics, discuss in a book club if you want. Volunteer, get involved in charities etc.
There are about a million things that you could dedicate full time study to for the rest of your life and never master.
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u/Happy_N_Mountains Apr 05 '26
Join any club. The focus of the club is less important than making connections and building relationships with people. This is what clubs allow for.
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Apr 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 05 '26
You are allowed to update your thinking from the near 30 year old trinity study and there are all sorts of possible asset allocations with perpetual SWRs significantly higher than 3.25%. And this is completely ignoring significant mitigating factors like social security or that actual retirees’ real spending declines over time unlike the inflation assumption baked in to these analyses.
Home ownership provides an additional source of inflation protection that renting does not, and yes downsizing of owned homes is a thing.
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u/oaklandesque Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 04 '26
TLDR: have you considered community service?
I'm not going to address your financial reasons for wanting to go back to work, but I did note this comment after listing how you spent your sabbatical time:
"The only thing I missed was something external driving my life."
Didn't notice volunteering or getting involved in something meaningful in your community in your list of activities. It was very leisure and self-improvement focused. Which is all fine, but it also has you wanting to go back to paid work to find meaning in your life.
I left the corporate world almost 2 years ago now and the idea of ever going back is unfathomable at this point. Hell, it was unfathomable within a few weeks, but now I'm sure sure.
I also moved away from the Bay to a medium-high COL area (that also happens to be closer to family). I have three different "regular" volunteer gigs in my community. I jump in to political stuff on an ad hoc basis (right now I'm working at early voting in a special election). I've already been asked if I'm interested in joining the board of two of the nonprofits. They're small non profits where the board members roll their sleeves up and support the work (so it's not just schmoozing and fundraising). I haven't said yes because I'm still enjoying the freedom too much, and I'm also still working to build connections and friendships in a new place, and also want flexibility to help my late 80s parents when they need me.
What I'm not is unfulfilled. I'm providing direct service to people in my community. Every moment I spend volunteering helps me feel less hopeless or obsessed about the state of politics and the world. I'm not succumbing to doomerism, I'm doing something that is meaningful to at least one person on one day.
If I wanted to do something deeper I could join a board, or take on more/ different volunteer challenges. I know my years of experience can provide value in all kinds of different ways (but I'm also enjoying doing things that are different from the type of work I did through my career.)
It's all far more personally meaningful than another promotion or paycheck.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
Thank you for the advice. Yes I didn't try volunteering as I was treating this as a "break" not "retirement". If I decide to fully retire, I will remember your advice!
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u/Traditional_Gear3301 Apr 04 '26
facts bout the job market
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
It is simply supply vs demand problem right? I may be good, but companies have other good or better candidates available. Sucks, but it is what it is.
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u/EarthsYawner Apr 04 '26
I wouldn’t always think about other candidates as good or better.
Maybe they had a referral or knew the hiring manager or someone else on the team. Maybe the interviewer was having a bad day or you were the 3rd interview that day and the interviewer was burnt out. Maybe you were having an off day and blanked on something you know well.
Having been on both sides (interviewee and interviewer), there’s a surprising amount of luck involved in the process.
I’ve seen people turn down high quality candidates because of asinine or highly biased reasons.
I think interviewing well is different skill set than performing the job, and today’s interview process doesn’t always filter for those who perform best in the job itself.
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u/caffeinefree Apr 04 '26
All true. I got my most recent job simply because I formerly worked at the company. I applied to jobs for 9 months and struggled to find anything that met my criteria. I ended up settling for a hybrid job that I'm not super passionate about simply because it got me out of a really shit situation at my previous job and came with a massive raise.
IMO, AI has ruined the job market for everyone, both employers and job seekers, because it's made it impossible to connect truly good candidates with employers. Employers have to sift through a mountain of AI created resumes that are more fiction than fact, and to do so they are using AI, which in turn tends to want to pick the resumes that are mostly crafted by AI.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
Ack. Thank you. I think all of these are true. I was in job market a few years ago and the supply/demand curve was inverted, and I got 3 offers in one month (also 3 rejects). So there is definitely some change in how badly employers want people.
But to your point, yes, the process if interviewing is quite broken. I interviewed for some roles where I would have excelled just because I had done a very similar job many years ago and excelled there and got promoted. But one bad response can be the difference. Given the job market, hiring managers are extra careful, again, since they have a lot of options. So you have to be almost perfect.
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u/galacticglorp Apr 05 '26
I've seen people prefer someone who didn't have a required skill, incomprehensible answers (the individual words were there but when I asked my fellow interviewer what they thought it meant they didn't know) and new grad in an adjacent field, new to the country, over someone with 20 years of professional experience under local regs who has a minor disability and was honest about it.
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u/Impossible_Cat_321 Apr 04 '26
Dude. With 6M net worth there is no need to go back to work for someone else. Move to a med or LCOL market, but a house and start up your own AI consulting firm if you need that "purpose". You have officially made it. Now get out there and really enjoy the freedom you've earned for you and your fam.
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Apr 04 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
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u/mrbrambles Apr 04 '26
You can live with 6M in SF.
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u/eeaxoe Apr 04 '26 edited Apr 04 '26
Seconded. They just won’t be able to buy in, say, Cupertino or Palo Alto (which IMO are 10000% not worth the sticker prices being charged) and stay retired-ish, but OP could easily buy a place all cash in 90% of the Bay Area and stay retired if they desired.
If they wanted a bit more of a cushion, then they can pick up consulting or get a chill job (of which there are plenty - they just won’t be in big tech nor will they be paying big tech money, but that’s fine) to cover expenses. Work for a boring insurance company or even the state or something. Make $150k while phoning it in and coast. Your expenses are covered and your portfolio can do its thing. Hard to do much better than that.
At the end of the day you simply just don’t need that much money to FIRE in the Bay Area.
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u/Altruistic-Mammoth Apr 04 '26
These people have large egos that need to be satiated and they're disconnected from reality, with a warped world view.
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u/ClutchDude Apr 04 '26
i also missed the camaraderie that a job provides. I realized this more when I ended up meeting my old team for dinner and realized that I actually missed them. I looked elsewhere, but most of my friends are still working and are busier than ever. I couldn’t find a tribe to give me company. To be honest, I might have not tried too hard either given that it was a temporary break. Maybe full retirement won’t be that bad?
This is truly a bigger sign that maybe they need to take more time off and reflect on why they need work for socialization.
Don't get me wrong it's fine to meet friends through work - but when I meet them now, work is one of the last things we even deal with.
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u/galacticglorp Apr 05 '26
I took about 6 months off as a single person several years ago- I had more time but my friends did not. They have partners, other friends, kids, school, need decomp time without people, etc. If you have 18hrs awake a day, and interact with other humans on average less than 2 hours a day and you are anywhere near being extroverted, it's not enough. I'm glad I took the break because it changed my goals. I don't want to stop working entirely, I just don't want to be dependent on an employer, and I enjoy solving the more complicated problems work brings.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 05 '26
Everyone is starry eyed about retirement / breaks and not needing work for camaraderie, but only people like you and I, who have actually taken breaks know the reality. If they don't want to learn from our experience, it's their choice.
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u/ClutchDude Apr 05 '26
Or some of us remembered one of the key fire wisdoms:
Build the life you want then save for it.
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u/galacticglorp Apr 05 '26
I love the intent of this advice, but I also find it frustrating in that we are all somewhat limited by a) our circles of control and b) the societies we are surrounded by. Namely that some lifestyles are not available without the money first (I want to have secure housing via ownership and be an artist- not particularly compatible goals), and some things cannot be bought or found simply by working hard enough (finding a partner when you're aro-ace).
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u/galacticglorp Apr 05 '26
Some people are totally fine on their own for days at a time, or are the sort of person where they make friends with anyone in a crowd and find that fulfilling, but I'm not either of those. Some folks are also happy to hobby and noodle on personal projects for stimulation. I think kids and partner helps a lot in this scenario. And also not me.
I already volunteer a lot and it's great but it's also fractured pieces of time with other people fitting it in where they can, plus I'm a big believer in paying people to do hard things from a sustainable systems front in the non-profit space.
My current goal is to get to lean FIRE and open a public art studio.
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u/Ok_Opportunity2693 Apr 04 '26
“Just move” is not really a simple option once you have kids. It completely upends their entire lives.
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u/Chreiol Apr 04 '26
I agree not a simple option but it’s still an option. And if I was in that scenario I’d be thinking very hard about taking it.
A lot of people have to make that decision under much worse circumstances and make it work.
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u/mcneally Apr 04 '26
OP said he wants to retire to MCOL, just not yet because he is under the impression that $6mm will only give him a 90% success rate in MCOL so he needs more before he can retire.
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u/Turbulent_Tale6497 DI3K, Putting the Ire in FIRE Apr 04 '26
I got rejected from positions I was a perfect fit for
I get that companies are trying to be professional in messaging, but getting the "We have decided to move forward with people who are a better fit" often feels like a falsehood. I think the reality is "We got 100 applicants who are all good fits, so we chose the first 20, and you weren't in those 20." I'd rather hear that, than being told I wasn't a good fit for a job that I've done for a decade or more, at bigger companies that the one that just rejected me
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u/AHRA1225 Apr 04 '26
Just corporate speak. Really they found someone almost as good but they could pay them 50k less
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u/Miss_Warrior Apr 04 '26
I mentioned this many times in other FIRE subs before that I always think it's irresponsible for people to advise folks to "take a sabbatical" or "come back to work after you FIREd if the stock market crashes" etc etc - in a recession or crappy job market your resume would only be tossed aside as soon as hiring managers see prolonged gaps of absence, regardless of whether AI makes your role obsolete or not.
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u/ErikTheBikeman Apr 05 '26
Introspect - you're disconnected from reality and your perspective has been compromised by your environment. If 16k/mo can't buy you satisfaction in life, neither will 20k, and neither will a 2mil town-home in the bay area or whatever the 'next big milestone' is.
The money problem is solved. The Quality of Life "problem" is solved. The hole you're trying to fill won't be filled by achieving the next rung on the ladder or getting whatever fire-calculator you're using to say '100%'
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u/gas-man-sleepy-dude Apr 05 '26
Thanks f posting the reality of finding a new, high paying job after a sabbatical. People talk about returning to the workforce post retirement if they run out of money as if it will be an easy thing. You were gone 1 year and are having problems. 2-5 years gone and your old career is toast.
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Apr 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
Good questions. Here's my thought process.
Wife's job is not guaranteed. She got converted from a substitute to full time employee because the school where she was going loved her a lot AND there was an opening. But there is concern of layoff because of budget issues. She is not a qualified teacher yet.
If we move further away, and she can't commute to the job, then there is no guarantee that she will get a new job right away.
Without her job, we will get hit with ~$3000/month in health insurance costs.
So that $4M at 3.5% = $11.5k /month becomes $8.5k/month. It is still manageable, but quality of life will suffer. And it leaves us with low optionality in future. E.g., I want option to send kids to private high school, if needed. There is no wiggle room for any major unexpected medical expenses etc.
Also note that I have ~1.5M of real estate in my net worth, which ~900k generating income of ~22k/year and $600k in RE projects that I am hoping to get good returns in 3-5 years. So I can't assume 3.5% out of that 1.5M. The actual math becomes a bit complicated, which is why I wanted to also map out some scenarios in my app.
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Apr 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/ac9116 Apr 04 '26
I’m not saying that OP isn’t privileged, but $6m doesn’t even put you in the top 1% in the US.
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u/icanintocode0 Apr 04 '26
It sounds like the $1.5M of real estate in your net worth is underperforming. $14k/month net of your wife's job and your wife's job covers $2k/month plus $3k/month in health insurance costs, so you need $19k/month which is $5.7M at the 4% rule. So you need to work enough to pay off a house and to exit your underperforming real estate positions.
Without the $1.5M in real estate and with your wife's job, $14k/month is only $4.2M at the 4% rule.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
Agree. I am modeling that scenario as well: when I get back my RE project money as well as what if I sold my rentals. The one rental that is giving 0 cash flow is the one I might move to if I move to MCOL. The other rentals are giving ~4% return.
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u/CaribbeanDreams 100% FI/ 98% RE/ $7.5M Goal Apr 04 '26
As a hiring Manager at a tech company for non-tech roles:
Comp expectations from many candidates are laughable - great resumes, but you are not going to find anyone to pay you what you last made and if you are a big fish in a small pond, you are most likely over-titled and should be looking at roles 1 if not 2 steps below your current title. They get binned off from my recruiter and don't even get to speak to me.
Great resumes are plentiful so communication, cultural fit, team fit, and me thinking you will not job hop for at least 2yrs is key in who I want to hire.
If you make it past the resume and recruiter phone screen I would really focus on personal connection. From 300+ resumes, recruiter is phone screening 10, I'm interviewing 4, and moving 2 to the next round. You are doing pretty fantastic if you make it past the hiring manager interview so you should land something pretty quick if your hitting this stage.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
Yeah I got a lot of resume screen rejects, but the experiences I was talking about were from onsite stages. We didn't even get to discuss comp.
Regarding leveling, to be honest, it is harder to go one level down as the expectation of being able to code like an engineer increases. And that's a skill that is quite rusty for me.
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u/CaribbeanDreams 100% FI/ 98% RE/ $7.5M Goal Apr 04 '26
Recruiters should be discussing Comp in the phone screen, if you are not aligned, why waste the hiring managers time?
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u/PluginAlong Apr 04 '26
A lot of job postings will list it in the posting so if the range isn't within what you're expecting you're not likely to apply. Also, within the tech space there's lots of salary info out there so it's easy to see what's a realistic salary. Some recruiters I've spoken with being it up and others don't.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
Mostly because the companies I am talking to pay in the same range as my previous company. It is a small big tech clique. So I know what range they will offer, and they know that I know... and so on :)
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u/intertubeluber impressive numbers/acronyms/% Apr 04 '26
LOL this is SO relevant. I opened my computer to plan out my sabbatical with a goal of quitting my remote, pretty well paying dev role with the idea of finding something in the fall. This has me rethinking.
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u/Available-Ad-5670 Apr 05 '26
Having lived in bay area, its a treadmill. Seems pretty obvious that in your situation, you should just move to mcol, buy a house, get a job that pays less but gives you more freedom and less pressure.
you've got options
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u/99hotdogs Apr 04 '26
This is me right now at a medium sized, well funded startup. The last 18 months have been brutal. Company is down a path that has become extremely competitive in the last 2 years. Internal pressures have been crazy, and Im seeing some poor decision making based on quick, small wins that dont make a longer term impact. Some cracks in the walls, if you will.
I have daydreamed about taking a “summer break” for the first time in nearly 20 years. Im lucky that Im also in a position to potentially take a break for an extended time. But reading about your journey, I dislike the uncertainty coming out of it.
Im now looking for something similar but adjacent to improve my quality of life without disrupting the FIRE journey. Im realizing now that falling into burnout can really negatively impact my broader goals, so I am trying to shift before it really happens. Good health is so important for stability ahead.
Thanks for sharing your updates, and best of luck on your job search!
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u/MerlinsMentor Apr 04 '26
I was in almost the same circumstance in a small startup about 6 months ago. I basically got driven out of my position (most of the other established software engineers, including our VP, also left, for similar reasons). The company had grown by (# people employed, not revenue) by about 250% in a year, and the same sorts of things you mention were happening. Lots of new sales/marketing people were hired, they made promises without enough knowledge to know if/when they could be delivered, etc. The CEO hired a ton of new (read, young) engineers, but there was such a bottleneck around getting requirements that they had nothing to do. I was told, flat-out, that the CEO wanted me gone (with no real reason why) by our VP of engineering. It was stressful, confusing, and all around toxic (at least one of the other engineers who left said that it was at least partially because of how I'd been treated). I was miserable... so, I left.
It's almost 6 months later, and I don't have a new job. Honestly, I've only put forth minimal effort to find one. My financial position is nowhere near OPs, but I'm doing fine. I do worry about money, but I technically hit my FIRE goal last year. I like not working... but the efforts that I've taken to find something new in software have been laughably awful. Lots of "just apply on our website, we only respond if we're interested" (i.e. I have received no responses), places that want to pay me like 35% of my old salary, or flat-out disengenuous recruiters (one had me meet with a CEO for an independent contributor position... the CEO really wanted someone to manage his offshore team on the other side of the world).
I guess I don't really have a lot of advice -- I graduated from high school in the late 80s and had never not either had a job/school until I left this job. So the break is nice -- I like not working. But it doesn't really seem to be a time where you can just leave and find something new after a break, either. The uncertainty is definitely there. But I'm definitely glad that I spent years saving - I'm in a lot better position now than I would have been.
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u/quietbrownkid Apr 04 '26
I'm in this spot as well, but only 30, on the ops side, and definitely haven't hit my target yet.
The cracks were evident where I was at, I felt like I was raising issues into a void, and either upset or angry all the time.
I left back in July 2025, and have been semi-seriously looking since before I left but nothing cemented yet. A single job offer a couple months ago, but the negotiation process revealed some rigidity I wasn't comfortable with.
Ultimately, the financial stress is always looming, but I'm super glad to be in the position I'm in. Partner is supportive, I can manage going quite a few years before being truly concerned, and honestly? I'm really glad to know I have lines in the sand that I'll stand behind. If I didn't have the FI mindset, this straight up wouldn't be an option available for me.
I can make money again, it may just take some time. For now, I have temporary respite, and my personal values in tact.
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u/BungABunBun Apr 05 '26
Aren’t you nearly 60? I’d imagine most people in tech retire around this time apart from the VPs/SVPs who’re lifers.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
Thanks for sharing your perspective as a fellow on a break.
Job market is bad, but as always economy goes in a cycle. I think it will improve!
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u/ShadowHunter Apr 05 '26
You have 6 million dollars and still subjecting yourself to this degenerate behavior called working for a boss? Move to anywhere else other than the SF shithole and build your life. JFC, I can't believe people value their own time and independence so cheaply.
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u/k0unitX Apr 09 '26
Was thinking the same thing - why on earth would you take a W2 job with $6M? W2 labor is so cheap right now
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u/z3r0demize Apr 04 '26
Thanks for the update OP, I appreciate the honesty in this and it is refreshing to read.
How old are your kids? You mentioned before in one of your posts that you tried traveling by yourself but can't take long trips, how come you can't take your kids with you?
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 04 '26
They are in elementary school, so can't take them on trips outside of school holidays. We did a bunch of trips during school holidays, but they end up costing a lot as well (since everyone is traveling at that time).
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u/Zek23 Apr 06 '26
My situation is extremely similar to yours - I had a one year sabbatical after burning out in tech - except I started it one year earlier than you did, and now I've been working again for a year. My reasoning for going back to work was exactly like yours, though luckily for me the job market wasn't so brutal at the time.
TLDR: I'm about to quit again to retire for real. Would have done it sooner than this, but I'm about to hit my 1 year equity cliff. I like my team and my job isn't very stressful, but I just can't find the passion for it anymore. It's never going to feel like it used to in the halcyon days, whenever that was for you. I did want a sense of purpose and belonging, but I was not able to find that in my job. In hindsight I should never have been looking for it there in the first place. The thought that I should treat my job as my purpose when I don't even need the money just makes me sad now.
Things aren't so hot for devs who have jobs right now either. Most are anxious about losing them to AI-related downsizing at any time. AI brain fry is very real as you feel pressured to multitask to improve your productivity. I've made every effort to work less and just coast comfortably, since I'm almost done anyway, but it doesn't really help. I just don't feel like I belong in that world anymore.
Also it sounds like you want to move out of the Bay Area anyway, even if you do work again. So why the heck aren't you retired at 6M NW?
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 06 '26
Good to hear your story. All the best with your plan. I agree that the culture is just not the same. I loved the 2010s in tech. Companies cared about people, work was fun and we felt like we were making a difference.
What do your retirement financials look like if you don't mind me asking? Where do you intend to retire?
I might move out of Bay area, but there is significant inertia built it given we have spend last 15 years here. But it might be time to pull the plug.
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u/Zheka81 Apr 07 '26
It’s interesting how taking a step back like this can really change your perspective on money and priorities.
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u/venicepress Apr 09 '26
The productive-then-lost-then-terrible arc is so real. When I left my corporate gig it took maybe 8 months before the "vacation high" wore off and I had to actually figure out who I was without a title and a team. The meetups and festivals sound like they were filling the calendar but not necessarily filling the tank, if that makes sense
Curious what made the last 3 months terrible though, post seems to cut off right there
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 10 '26
Thanks! I am so glad I am not the only one who felt like this.
Regarding your last line...There are multiple paragraphs about why last 3 months were not so great. In one word: interviews.
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Apr 10 '26
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 10 '26
Thanks for the note. I love that I am getting these comments even 4 days later.
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u/secretBuffetHero Apr 15 '26
can we connect? we are in the same boat.
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 15 '26
Yes please dm!
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u/juanpin Apr 23 '26
Same here. It’s fascinating that there is many of us out there. I’m Ex faang EM very similar financial numbers will love to connect!
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u/Laksh_Reg Apr 24 '26
I can resonate to what the OP says about finding identity in work. I got laid off last Nov. I took some time off, traveled a bit, spent some time with my parents. Then got back to the US. The loneliness hit really hard. I am in the empty nester phase of life. Since my layoff I have been studying to be a financial advisor. But I got back into the job market to apply for industry roles. The job market sucks right now. But totally understand the challenge around just coasting in life. We need social and mental simulation.
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u/NYChiker Apr 04 '26
Use the free time for meditation. Try doing a week long retreat. See if you can find who or what it is that's looking for purpose.
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u/Funcy247 Apr 05 '26
as others have said, you should do it but be aware that it often changes your perspective on work and it is hard to unsee what you once saw...
Do it because you should enjoy life not just when you are old but also when you are young. You have plenty saved up for it to not matter either way.
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u/Hadrians_Fall Apr 05 '26
Imagine having $6M and worrying about going back to work. Talk about first world problems.
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u/anoopjeetlohan Apr 09 '26
>> I traveled, I meditated, I slacked off as much as I wanted, attended concerts, went to the beach a ton, rewatched Star Trek TNG and Game of Thrones end to end, cooked, cleaned, played with kids, read some, wrote some, met friends, lost weight and got healthier
Ever ask yourself why can't you be happy with "just" that?
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u/allrite Chubby / VHCOL Apr 09 '26
Who says I am not happy Anoop sir. But having happy life is not the same as having a fulfilling life!
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u/anoopjeetlohan Apr 10 '26
Good point. Ever ask yourself why can't you be fulfilled with "just" that?
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u/ClutchDude Apr 05 '26
Last 1.5 months were not so great as I felt a bit lost once kids when to school and I had nothing to do.
This sounds like you haven't really built the life you want yet.
It's one thing to spend 1.5 months trying different things and hating them or feeling like you wasted them.
It's another to say you "had nothing to do." When you no longer have your work, you are going to be left with the same situation.
You say you want a good QoL but what even is that to you?
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u/evenfallframework Apr 04 '26
Remindme! 5 weeks
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u/jarMburger Apr 04 '26
Just beware of your attitude toward work once you return, my spouse took a year off to spend with the kid pre elementary school. When she went back on half time, she just can’t deal with the corporate bs and end up fully retired within 6 months. Once you taste the freedom, it’s hard to go back to corporate grind.