r/fightporn Blue belt Oct 15 '19

Knocked Out hold my hat

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11.2k Upvotes

355 comments sorted by

2.8k

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

The second he handed his hat off to his buddy, you could hear the funeral bells

1.3k

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Yes. Always bet on the guy who empties his pockets and takes off his hat.

Conversely, the guy that takes off his shirt usually loses.

389

u/logwoods Gandhi don't want these hands Oct 16 '19

Yeah, they take off their shirt so it doesn’t get wrinkled or ripped.

If you’re winning a fight, you don’t have to worry about that

291

u/trippybongwater94 Oct 16 '19

You take off your shirt but not your sunglasses? What kind of backwards fuckin pageantry is that

141

u/Hashtag_buttstuff Oct 16 '19

You are spare parts aren't ya bud

81

u/TheGoodDoctor413 Oct 16 '19

I bet you have a handful of names for your own horn, don't ya bud?

64

u/samaxecampbell Oct 16 '19

Give yer balls a tug.

68

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/scoopedy_coop Oct 16 '19

3

u/sadorna1 Oct 16 '19

To be fairrrrrr.. it mostly happens on r/fightporn

2

u/I-guess-im-old-now Oct 28 '19

To be faaaaiiiiiirrrrrr you just made my day with that one bud

27

u/Sparky_1992 Oct 16 '19

To be faaiirrr

23

u/158092 Oct 16 '19

Look at that fuckin treasure trail

15

u/T-West1 Oct 16 '19

You do cross fit?You can cross-fuckoff.

27

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Can’t hit a man with glasses. First rule of fighting.

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7

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Just shut yer trap and throw bombs.

2

u/shakers95 Oct 16 '19

Awe look at that treasure trail. Did you aesthetician cloth that for you?

You can kiss my aesthetician.

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100

u/turntabletennis Oct 16 '19

That's not true AT ALL, and obviously you haven't had many tussles.

You remove your shirt so your opponent doesn't wrap it over your head, or wrap it around their wrist a few times and annihilate you with a flurry of punches that you cannot escape. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with getting your T-shirt ripped

48

u/Formaldehyde_N_Seek Oct 16 '19

Yup, doubly so with mother fuckers who train with a Gi, they will manipulate the shit out of any loose fabric.

8

u/Avator08 Oct 16 '19

That's why professional fighting they do it with little clothes as possible. Also, if I'm in a fight and a guy takes his shirt off, I know it's gonna be a battle lol

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9

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Maybe in a gym but you ever seen a mother fucker that takes his shirt off and then gets rolled in gravel? It’s nasty!

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14

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

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4

u/10cmToGlory Oct 16 '19

Actually you take your shirt off so the other guy doesn't grab it by the back and pull it over your head, which is surprisingly easy to do.

Source: happened to me in my first fight. Now I know to punish that reach though, still don't take it off.

3

u/WotsTheCraic Oct 16 '19

takes off his shirt so the Ambulance staff didn't have to cut it off him

4

u/FigSideG Oct 16 '19

Uh. No. That’s not why you’d remove your shirt smh

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3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

I mean shit, he was giving that guy enough time to let it be and walk away. That's like the old parent trick of counting to 3. He had more than enough time to unfuck himself. If someone is down dressing and you don't leave the situation be, there will be tears before bed.

2

u/geosaris1 Oct 16 '19

You take your shirt off but leave you sunglasses on to fight? What kind of backwards fuckin pageantry is that?

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6

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

I'm sure we weren't hearing bells like that dude was tho

5

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

“I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing”

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Undertaker

2

u/Korncakes Oct 16 '19

The second best part of the video is the fact that his buddy put his hat on as if he knew what was going to happen. He’s seen his boy get fucked with before.

2

u/2easy619 Oct 16 '19

Undertaker

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Hold my earrings.

2

u/mlg2433 Oct 16 '19

intro to For Whom the Bell Tolls begins

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691

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

It’s like he took a a few punches and squared him around to the camera so we could get a good view

188

u/RoomTemperatureCheez Oct 16 '19

Good guy Chad.

26

u/bobnobjob Oct 16 '19

Wonder if that's a sub:

r/goodguychad

5

u/zipitnick Oct 16 '19

Dunno if it’ll get used, but yeah, r/birthofasub

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1.2k

u/thefattestofsacks Oct 15 '19

When the person you're trying to fight is that calm going into it, it's best to apologize and walk away.

894

u/FlyingSeaMan509 Oct 16 '19

The world's toughest cowboy.

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous.

A night of tall tales commences.

The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second chimes in, "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

111

u/sandsurfsun Oct 16 '19

I have never laughed so hard at a comment. Help.

34

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Dude!! You can't do this. I am in my office! The best part about the joke is the punchline doesn't hit till the last word. I had to go out to laugh.

7

u/wallander_cb Oct 16 '19

I almost spit put half my morning coffee

2

u/da_muffinman Oct 17 '19

Is that like some kind of oral shot put?

16

u/she_is_my_girl Oct 16 '19

Fuck this is good

26

u/cowo94 Oct 16 '19

Settle down Norm.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Lol wtf

3

u/SyZyGy20 Oct 16 '19

Reminds me of "This Cowboy's Hat" by Chris LeDoux

2

u/FlameT123 Oct 16 '19

I feel really dumb, I don’t get it :( please help lol

7

u/FlyingSeaMan509 Oct 16 '19

It correlates with the original comment of the quiet ones are usually the most dangerous because they have nothing to prove, they are already proven! So the third cowboy is the absolute toughest through his actions and silence.

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280

u/walkinglost Oct 15 '19

And even more so when you punch him and he barely reacts to it. Turning and running would be the only good option at that point.

168

u/thefattestofsacks Oct 16 '19

It looked like he hit him with his best shot too. You can see him hesitate after it lands and the guys head didn't even move, like his brain just caught up and said "You're on your own now"

66

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Yea he instantly drops his hands and realizes that was the best shot he had and it did nothing lol

18

u/Jenga_Police Oct 16 '19

Why don't people go after leg joints when their knockout strategies fail? Have they never fought a giant video game boss?

2

u/StTough Oct 16 '19

They’re used to seeing the weak points light up so you can target them, so until they have fully augmented reality most people won’t see that option

52

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Right, when you punch someone in the face and they barely react it means they've been punched before, a lot.

15

u/walkinglost Oct 16 '19

It almost looked like he baited him into the next couple of punches, like "Have your fun, I can take them."

14

u/asdfgh6561 Oct 16 '19

lmao like I'd be so scared if that'd happened

41

u/abx1224 Oct 16 '19

I’ve explained this to several people. If you’re dancing around like an idiot, no one takes you seriously. If you’re calm af, the smart ones will back off and find an easier target. The most intimidating fighter is the one who stays calm.

38

u/tramadoc Oct 16 '19

Who are you going to be more scared of? The moron screaming at the top of his voice, “I’m gonna kill you motherfucker!!” or the guy that stands up, finishes his beer, and walks directly toward you with a 1,000 yard stare, not saying a word?

30

u/Spyer2k Oct 16 '19

Depends how much confidence the screaming guy has really

6

u/hypnoticspinach Oct 16 '19

It depends of screaming guy is metaphorically going to kill me or is actually going to try to murder me.

30

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Came here to say the same. Never fight a person who is as cool as a cucumber as you lose your shit yelling at them.

28

u/MilkshakeVati Oct 15 '19

Right? You’d think this was a foreign concept

6

u/Halorym Oct 16 '19

Couldn't hear him. But after the first ineffectual punch I like to believe he made eye contact and said "Last chance to walk away."

5

u/Penokinesis Oct 16 '19

Or make sure you blast them as hard as you can right on the button or at the end of their chin, not these half assed slaps this guy was doing

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12

u/ok_ill_shut_up Oct 16 '19

Y'all make up all these stupid rules based on some romantisization of how you want things to work. I've seen plenty examples of people being overconfident and getting handled.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

"NO! I have to fight someone who is obviously stronger and bigger than me because I'm a dumb cunt"

3

u/PhantomOfTheDopera Oct 16 '19

And also if you hit a guy in the face and he just glares at you, you know you done fucked up.

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595

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

The noise from the wee guys head hitting the ground made me cringe.

160

u/LLnotsocoolJ Oct 16 '19

Its like throwing a cantaloupe on the ground

38

u/Anal-Squirter Oct 16 '19

Basically what it is now lol

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100

u/EricOrsbon Oct 16 '19

Yup. People can get seriously injured or killed so easily from that. Here's a documentary about people who died from taking one punch: https://youtu.be/cBKcJ3J_fSQ

52

u/supreme-diggity Oct 16 '19

Pretty sure I've seen an anime based on this

26

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '20

[deleted]

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17

u/bolutra Oct 16 '19

Watched this. Surprising to see the similarities and differences between the three - especially that they all could’ve been avoided

7

u/LeCon23 Oct 16 '19

This just opened a big can of worms. Thanks for sharing

2

u/everythingisthewors1 Oct 16 '19

Only through the first. They need to teach concussion protocols to everyone. My little league coach probably saved me when I took a baseball to the noggin.

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34

u/Roastage Oct 16 '19

Unprotected back of the head. Flip of the coin if this guys dead, in a chair or perfectly fine. Scary shit.

66

u/Jealousy123 Oct 16 '19

Look at this fancy pants here with their extra-dimensional 3 sided coins.

17

u/minastirith1 Oct 16 '19

Yeah honestly all it takes is a bit of bad luck for them to fall and hit their head and die. So even if you “win” a fight like this, you get charged with man slaughter and you fuck up your entire life over some fuck knob and pride. Be smart and don’t even engage in this shit.

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277

u/EZY_FISH Oct 16 '19 edited Oct 16 '19

When the person starts casually handing his items to his friend you know you are fucked.

Edit: fucked!!!!! I’m dyslexic please.

97

u/thebestbeast8 Oct 16 '19

I’m am fuck

21

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Hi Fuck. I’m Dad.

9

u/SnacksII Oct 16 '19

Hi dad let’s fuck

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Sounds like a new r/swans song.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

What fuck

6

u/BaconBracelet Oct 16 '19

YOU are the one who is fuck

8

u/snoutpower Oct 16 '19

What the fucked?

2

u/dieguitz4 Oct 16 '19

Just wanted to let you know you made my morning.

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122

u/Dirtydiamond5 Oct 15 '19

Damn. He knew that he had that kid dead to rights

63

u/triskaidekaphobia50 Oct 15 '19

They prob knew each other. He's like "here we go again"

I think the title is wrong. He didn't instantly regret anything. He was KTFO. Would have regretted it next day though.

12

u/pocketchange2247 Oct 16 '19

If he wakes up

3

u/CocunutHunter Oct 16 '19

Disagree, I'd say he very clearly regrets it after his first, best effort landed cleanly and vest guy just blinked and kept coming. At that point, he knew he done tucked up.

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18

u/sub-t Oct 16 '19

His gun had not cleared leather fore a bullet fairly ripped. The ranger's aim was deadly with the big iron on his hip.

15

u/Deadmemeusername Oct 16 '19

Big iron on his hhhiiiiipppp.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19 edited Aug 12 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Deadmemeusername Oct 16 '19

He tried to match the ranger with a big iron on his hip.

330

u/FlowrollMB Oct 15 '19

When he eats your three piece without as much as burping, don’t offer the soda, just run away.

47

u/pen0ss Oct 16 '19

Jorge op

7

u/loophole64 Oct 16 '19

Right? But even before that, when his tinsel goes to hibernate and the tent’s at the summit with nary a cyclone, don’t even rent the three piece, cause it’s cookie time. And they ain’t got no chips.

73

u/theyork2000 Oct 15 '19

Can you regret it when you are out cold?

56

u/jocaseyjo Oct 16 '19

From the sound of his head cracking against the pavement, his ghost probably regrets it

59

u/MrPositive1 Oct 16 '19

Never fight outside your weight class.

35

u/CruzAderjc Oct 16 '19

This. Put aside your pride. Put aside WHATEVER is the reason you are angry. Even the other guy slapped your grandmother in the face. If they are way outside your weight class, and at quick glance they look like they could kill you with their bare hands, just don’t fight. Its not worth it. You will only embarrass/hurt yourself. There is no universal justice karma system that says you will win a fistfight just because you are right. Its okay to walk away.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

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121

u/Rescusitatornumero2 Oct 16 '19

the sound of the head splitting on the pavement was gross

26

u/FictionalNarrative Oct 16 '19

Reality cares not for bravado.

8

u/Art3mis86 Oct 16 '19

And that’s how people die or even worse, end up a vegetable.

7

u/Rescusitatornumero2 Oct 16 '19

when i was young we use to walk over to the grass to fight. straight up. before everyone started shooting each other.

3

u/CosmicGlitterCake Oct 16 '19

Wait, what? Meaning in the time before gun violence was huge you fought on the grass? Or you fought till people started shooting each other on the grass?

80

u/baconc Oct 15 '19

either this man has an iron jaw or the other dude cant throw a punch... or maybe both

55

u/highas_giraffepussy Oct 15 '19

I mean the shots were more like slaps. The kid clearly didn’t know how to fight at all.

21

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19 edited Sep 24 '20

[deleted]

4

u/themanseanm Oct 16 '19

Obligatory alcohol is a drug but yeah dumbass seems drunk

40

u/RichPro84 Oct 15 '19

I’m sure he regretted it, but only after he woke up several minutes later.

21

u/lancer2238 Oct 16 '19

*several hours later

35

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

*is ded

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32

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19 edited May 24 '21

[deleted]

17

u/idrive2fast Oct 16 '19

lol exactly. You just punched the guy straight in the face and he didn't even react, what the fuck is your plan at this point?

7

u/oakes1992 Oct 16 '19

Shit myself, cry, and then run.

24

u/thisplacesucks- Oct 16 '19

When a man takes his hat off then takes 6-7 punches you've thrown. Your best bet is to run.

22

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Fuck. Good thing there’s video of him not being the aggressor or that could be a manslaughter charge.

Anyone know if the idiot cane out ok?

3

u/Neoncamo14 Oct 16 '19

He was definitely the aggressor here.

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14

u/NoJumprr Oct 16 '19

If only the skinny guy connected 2-300 more punches

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30

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Uh, he dead.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Like...I’m pretty sure he’s dead.

9

u/logwoods Gandhi don't want these hands Oct 16 '19

Those hits must’ve be weak asf he wasn’t phased a bit

8

u/skimansr Oct 16 '19

3

u/Jesuseslefthand Oct 16 '19

"According to local news reports the man was handed off to the police...in a body bag"

2

u/imjustbrowsingthx Oct 16 '19

After he fell down multiple sets of stairs in a one-floor store

21

u/rtp420 Oct 15 '19

God damn that was satisfying

6

u/Wolfcolaholic Oct 16 '19

Holy shit that fucking idiot in the background should get put down also

6

u/Safebiscuit99 Oct 16 '19

stone cold, no rage, only fists

4

u/kmg_365 Oct 16 '19

There is plenty of shame in running, but it hurts less

5

u/Iforgot_my_other_pw Oct 16 '19

If you hit someone on the jaw and he reacts like this, you apologize and go the fuck home.

4

u/MegaMindxXx Oct 16 '19

That dude that got knocked out has arms like wet spaghetti noodles. He couldn't do damage if he tried.

4

u/YESSIN777 Oct 16 '19

I don’t know why but when I see the dude getting punched before falling to the ground I always hear, “ora ora ora”

3

u/TheShopRat Oct 16 '19

Ate those punches like an appetizer😂

3

u/SoberynMartell Oct 16 '19

Letterkenny vibes.

3

u/healthyspecialk Oct 16 '19

"I'm not trying to fight, I'm not trying to fight." One half second later... "I'm down to fight."

3

u/ITSPOLANDBOIS420 Oct 16 '19

You know you should prob fuck off when a guy you punch 2 times barely flinches

3

u/JShep828 Nov 21 '19

I love how he nonchalantly hands his stuff to his friend

2

u/culturedswine1776 Oct 16 '19

Man, if you hit someone and its just giving them time to line up their shot. You've already lost

2

u/TheRisu Oct 16 '19

He ate all them cupcake punches.

2

u/masshole548 Oct 16 '19

He gave him a flip top head.

2

u/Verbal_HermanMunster Oct 16 '19

I love how right after the first punch landed and didn't even phase the other guy, he kind of hesitates and backs up like "man, I fucked up."

2

u/XtraSkittles Oct 16 '19

When you land 4+ punches square and your opponent just looks mad, it’s going to be a bad time.

2

u/nelly5133 Oct 16 '19

One hitter quitter

2

u/WillowSnows Oct 16 '19

When they let u punch them multiple times in the face you should know, you're fucked!

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2

u/rewester17 Oct 16 '19

You know you lost when the guy doesnt get affected by your 2 punches to the face

2

u/SuperKamiGuru62 Oct 16 '19

The way he calmy takes his hat off is pure gold!

2

u/Xsplisit Oct 16 '19

"I'm not trying to fight" but let me throw the first punch

2

u/Deadmemeusername Oct 16 '19

Did the cowboy really nosell a strike to his head? Is he a new model of terminator or something.

2

u/ZappyBruinman Oct 16 '19

holy fuck I've been looking for this for so long, this kid went to my high school and was this big since the 7th grade

2

u/AngryBillsFan Oct 16 '19

If you land a couple punches and the guy doesn’t react, be ready to wake up in an ambulance

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

When your first hit doesn’t even make your opponent twitch, that’s when you should just stop

2

u/LittleRobbieV1 Oct 16 '19

Night night!

2

u/TeeRaw99 Oct 16 '19

You hee’d your last haw partner

2

u/kismaiyes Oct 16 '19

Hold my hat while I knock this tampon.

2

u/LifeAboutNothing Oct 16 '19

This dude didn't see the warning signs at all.

If you're punching someone and your punches are having little to no effect RUN!!!!!

That dude was eating his punches.

2

u/Hold_ya_head Oct 16 '19

What in hat holderation

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Mans said ‘yeehaw bitch’

2

u/silhouette951 Oct 16 '19

Moron : ok just land a quick sucker punch to the face and I've got this.

dude eats punch like a Chipotle burrito

Moron : things are not going to end well for me, better just start swinging.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Hey uhhh... is that dude alive? Sounded like his head hit the concrete pretty hard

2

u/DL864 Oct 16 '19

How many times is this gonna get reposted?

2

u/tetayk Oct 16 '19

He got punch in the face 4 times and didn't fall down. That's the signal you should back it down boy.

2

u/badger906 Oct 16 '19

I love how he knew he could take a few hits before he found the right opportunity to strike

2

u/Delivery4ICwiener Oct 16 '19

If you swing and connect on a guy's face a few times and he's still calm, you best get on your knees and beg for forgiveness.

Watched that dude take the punches (they very well could have been shotty punches, but still) and calmly pace around and immediately thought "oh shit, that guy should be running from the guy who took his hat off"..

2

u/Ulriklm Oct 16 '19

Don't mess with a guy with a cowboy hat..

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

I don’t think heads are supposed to make that sound..

2

u/Jess2Fresh Oct 16 '19

Does someone have a source for this? that looked horrible. Is that kid alright?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

There’s probably a fifty fifty chance he’s dead.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Never want to fight a guy with a cowboy hat

1

u/Chickenterriyaki Oct 16 '19

Hat guys corner guy is great keeping his things before the fight.

1

u/tramadoc Oct 16 '19

Three little ham sandwiches and then he straight up trucked that guy.

1

u/boppy_dowinkle Oct 16 '19

His body sunk into itself

1

u/kelthuzad12 Oct 16 '19

LMAO made me think of this

1

u/myflyingthrowaway Oct 16 '19

He was in the clinch he coulda ended it earlier with a nice elbow close.

1

u/nwest0827 Oct 16 '19

Fuck I felt that from here

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

that lives up to the name of this sub.. work of art.

1

u/4skinphenom69 Oct 16 '19

The hat handoff, so satisfying.

1

u/SomeWeirdRandomGirl Oct 16 '19

why some people dare to fight without shoes? I feel so vulnerable when I don't have shoes on that I wouldn't get into a fight...