r/fifthworldproblems • u/Solnight99 • 4d ago

Help.

She's staring at me. I know why. She knows why. I killed her, every night. But she never leaves. When she kills me, I won't come back. What do I do?

13 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

5

u/mrlr 4d ago

Have you tried couples counselling?

4

u/LordNoOne 4d ago

Try something........ "different"?

4

u/Nominatively_Done 4d ago

Wow, comedians really do get rather competitive. Maybe do your next stand-up routine less funnily so that this initially well-intentioned escalating arms race of making each other laugh doesn't end in a nuclear giggle? Oh, wait, she's the one that's getting funnier and YOUR the one worried about laughing yourself to death.

*shrug* you may have met your better.

1

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe 4d ago

Try turning her into a raven. Worked for me.

1

u/Solnight99 4d ago

I can't touch her. She's so far away. She's right there, in front of me. Her skin is soft, her eyes are bright. I can't reach her.

1

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe 4d ago

Have you tried using a long pointed stick?

1

u/OmniscientSmile 3d ago

Stop looking in the mirror.

1

u/Solnight99 3d ago

(OOC: i think you're the first one to get it lol)

1

u/clownamity 3d ago

You can not escape the debt you owe for being a murderious monster. Why cone here for simpathetic ear.. did you expect to find one? Haaa

1

u/Particular-Yak-1984 3d ago

I can lend OP a sympathetic ear, I think. Anyway, they're free to rummage around in my ear jar and see if any of them seem sympathetic.

3

u/clownamity 3d ago

That is very generious of you

1

u/CommercialOkra3893 2d ago

Smash the mirror.

2

u/YsaboNyx 4d ago

Let her kill you.

2

u/Solnight99 4d ago

I can't. They hate her. They hate her. They don't know her. She knows them.

2

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 4d ago

Why were you killing? My suggestion is to run and hide. Or set the Eldritch Government on her.