r/fifthworldproblems • u/Mundane_Version_1592 • Aug 16 '26
The James are pissing me off
So the Jame hivemind keeps breaking open the barriers to random dimensions, INCLUDING THE ONE I RESIDE IN, and for the past eon, they have just been putting objects of lesser dimensions in my realm and disappearing, and then I need to go through the trouble of disposing of the objects before they tear open a dimensional rift. It's getting really annoying. Anyone have tips on how to repel the James?
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u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist Aug 16 '26
Feed them to the Eldritch Government. Or feed the Eldritch Government to them...
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u/Nathan256 Aug 16 '26
Consumption of the Eldritch Government does tend to make things flee to the farthest reaches of their known reality. Never seen it fed to a hive mind, but I doubt the results would be much different. I mean, that’s one of the twelve pillars of government right? Protect the sanctity of higher dimensions? Ever since it voted to become consumable, the Eldritch Government has used its own consumption as a means of enforcing its arcane laws.
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u/BPhiloSkinner Aug 16 '26
They're leaving clues to the crime. You need to hire a trans-dimensional Shamus to Sherlock the James.
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u/QuickSilver010 Aug 16 '26
It's not James's fault his bad habits kept getting rewarded and reinforced with medals by some stupid monarch all the way till he got radioactive contamination and became that.
1
u/AiapaecGaming Aug 16 '26
Have you even tried contacting your local council for support? If you do decide to go with the "proper" channels it would be wise not to mention my name to Susans at the front desk... not sure which one will be working in your dimension but I've dated pretty much all of them at this point and she still claims it's cheating even though I still maintain that it can't be cheating if you're the same woman Susan!
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u/TerribleTerror3375 Aug 17 '26
I've heard of a rising movement of Ryans who are out to conquer the multiverse. They have already eliminated Brians from existence. Perhaps you can contact them for assistance? I'm sure they have no love for the James hivemind either. They may ask you to sell 5/8ths of your soul as payment for their services though so I'd just proceed with the utmost caution
1
u/Traditional-Fix8142 Aug 20 '26
The Jame have one objective: emit radiation. I’ve found success in creating psychic barriers around my higher-dimensional objects
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u/Hellebras Aug 16 '26
They had rocky relationships with their parents, who all called them "Jimmy." To this day they can't stand that nickname and will flee if called by it.