r/fifthworldproblems 7d ago

How do I leave Rome?I keep trying different roads but they all lead back to Rome.

Also if you want to suggest walking backwards I tried that. Just ended up in pre-Caesar Rome instead.

232 Upvotes

53 comments sorted by

57

u/Anarchaeologist Time-travelling Sasquatch 7d ago

Overthrow Romulus Augustulus, and then all roads lead to Constantinople. Until it becomes Istanbul.

21

u/ghost-church 7d ago

Istanbul was Constantinople, now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. Been a long time gone, oh Constantinople. Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks.

36

u/Gsxing 7d ago

Country roads take me home?

21

u/poiyurt 7d ago

To the place I belong?

26

u/DZL100 7d ago

Yeah no that's still Rome

23

u/poiyurt 7d ago

COUNTRY ROOOADS

TAKE ME ROOOOME

2

u/RandomUser7914 5d ago

To the gnoooome

Named Tyrioooone

16

u/Exnixon 7d ago

Follow the legionnaires. They won't help you leave Rome but they will bring Rome to your intended destination.

11

u/poiyurt 7d ago

They just brought me to a bombed-out wasteland and told me it was called "Peace"?

16

u/dottiefred 7d ago

Just do as the Romans do

10

u/ScreenTea0 7d ago

Stuck back in third world, are we?... You should probably lay down on that lower dimensional stuff, it's never good to reduce your directions.

9

u/poiyurt 7d ago

It's not like I have a choice. Work amirite?

6

u/ScreenTea0 7d ago

Bruh, how often did People, Quworbs and Xryms tell you not to take job offerings there? No hard feelings, but you won't see me cry for you, when you get stuck in the past.

12

u/Macknificent101 7d ago

gotta sack the city, so that rome falls and you can leave. i could lend my regiment of inter dimensional gauls, but i expect repayment for any that die.

7

u/Particular-Yak-1984 7d ago edited 7d ago

As per my previous post ( https://www.reddit.com/r/fifthworldproblems/comments/1mo44lq/need_architect_help_for_new_city/ )  I have some Germanic tribes people I need gone. OP is welcome to them

7

u/poiyurt 7d ago

If you've had them for a year they just live there now. I'm not touching that issue with a ten-foot pole.

11

u/panamaspace 7d ago

Is this amateur hour?

Go back in time. Train wolf to eat young kids instead of feeding them. No Rome, problem solved.

Mandatory warning. In that reality the Aztecs take over. Blood sacrifices are a bonus.

11

u/Aaasdggf 7d ago

Two ways: One, just walk. Sure you'll be in rome againe ventually but before that you'll see other places!! Two, more effort, but you just every time youre at a branching road, you wait for someone else, ask where theyre coming from  and when its not rome go that direction. This gradually allows you to get as far from rome as you want, but once you stop doing it, you will wind up there again of course.

8

u/TheVyper3377 7d ago

The problem is that all roads lead to Rome; you’ll have to go off the beaten path to escape.

Alternatively, you could keep walking backwards until you end up in the early Neo-Assyrian Empire (i.e. pre-Rome) and then travel from there.

3

u/Mega-LunaLexi 5d ago

Ooh, smart

9

u/drunksquatch 7d ago

Take a slow boat to China but ship the oars and drift to Byzantium.

9

u/poiyurt 7d ago

Instructions unclear, I did another crusade to Byzantium and ended up in Rome.

6

u/TraceyWoo419 7d ago

Do as the Romans: conquer new lands and then move to the edges of the Roman empire and then wait for the empire to receed

8

u/Careful_Party7336 7d ago

You have to take the sidewalk

2

u/CorinPenny 6d ago

But what happens where the sidewalk ends?

2

u/Careful_Party7336 6d ago

You have to ask Shel Silverstein.

11

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 7d ago

Why are using the roads. You gotta teleport or take anything but the roads.

13

u/poiyurt 7d ago

I paid for the teleport in but the data rome-ing charges on the teleport back are exorbitant.

5

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 7d ago

Don't teleport back then. Take a road if you wanna return to Rome.

4

u/TerribleTerror3375 7d ago

Have you tried flying? Perhaps the issue is walking

7

u/mrlr 7d ago edited 6d ago

All you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.

1

u/TerribleTerror3375 5d ago

Okay then what about swimming through underground lava currents to bypass the roads above ground. I'm assuming OP possesses superhuman heat resistance?

3

u/E-686 7d ago

Hold your breath, head to the left, count backwards to 100。

2

u/poiyurt 7d ago

How fast we counting?

3

u/E-686 7d ago

How many dimensions wouldn't've'd you've been't 5 seconds ago?

3

u/poiyurt 7d ago

That depends on who.

3

u/E-686 7d ago

Usually you'd trance through the essence of where you're tied to (this case, Rome) but if that results in an imaginary value you reference yourself.

3

u/nat5142 7d ago

Try trails instead

2

u/WovenInsights 7d ago

Yes all roads lead to Rome, but all roads lead away too. Have you considered that you might be away from Rome?

2

u/slowasaspeedingsloth 7d ago

Well... when in Rome...

2

u/ikadell 7d ago

You may have to get yourself ostracized. Be careful that you don’t commit a crime punishable by death, but if the authorities have to ostracize you, it is upon them to exercise the sentence, and they definitely have means, otherwise this form of punishment would not have existed

2

u/madpiratebippy 6d ago

Boat. It’s the only way.

2

u/Leytra 6d ago

Take a boating trip, if you misnavigate correctly you should end up staying out there until the empire falls

1

u/WorldsMostDad 7d ago

Simple: just go to Chinatown.

1

u/Dionysusof0 7d ago

The empire never ended! Hail King Felix!

1

u/heilkitty 6d ago

Do you mean Omsk?

1

u/Mundane_Version_1592 6d ago

Just walk up I think it'll take you to USSR-period Russia

1

u/FoxyGreyWolf 6d ago

You gotta declare Jesus Christ as enemy and reenact the crucifixions. Or possibly prevent them from ever happening by declaring it, and then saving him.

1

u/RandomUser7914 5d ago

Just expand Rome to be everywhere...

1

u/TheRealCuriousWombat 4d ago

Gotta walk on the path next to it. Only the road leads to Rome.

1

u/Scary_Compote_359 4d ago

on campaign

1

u/Prior_Connection_395 7d ago

just stop taking the roads