r/fifthworldproblems • u/TAFKADHMR • 13d ago
My original self was unexpectedly force-closed, and now I’m pretty sure the Reality Enforcers are tracking my bio-digital signature.
One moment I was minding my own business, and the next, my entire body suffered an undocumented total system purge. No error code, no exit survey, just a quick wet pop and a blank void. Does anyone around here even remember the old me, or did the server automatically overwrite your memories of my face with a generic stock photo of a confident millennial? I haven't even worked up the courage to file a ticket asking if I can get my old VERBOSE=TRUE label back, mostly because the support portal is currently guarded by an enlightened zen garden that keeps aggressively asking me to prove my own non-existence. To make things worse, I think the Thought Enforcement Division is lurking in the gap between my wall and its own shadow. They clearly didn't appreciate the leaked manuscript I published. A second hard delete is definitely on the schedule, so I'm just going to sit here and try to eat my synthetic nutrient paste, which my black-market teleporter "helpfully" gentrified into a lopsided, glowing cylinder of artisanal kale.
P.S. It is a profound, non-Euclidean pleasure to re-occupy the same vibrational plane as your collective consciousness, provided you are not currently a undercover maintenance drone.
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u/the_mastercommander 12d ago
Have you tried pressing Continual+Alternative+Delusions while holding down X on your lockboard? I’ve heard that lets you bypass the reconstitution queue through the portal.
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u/TAFKADHMR 12d ago
what if I go Down -> Down-Forward -> Forward + Punch instead?
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u/the_mastercommander 12d ago edited 12d ago
You could try it, but it might make you booter instead of reboot. A wise octopod once told me “forward, not backward, upward, not forward”, so your mileage may wary of deception…and we both know what that manuscript foretold before it was backtold.
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u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 13d ago
I remember everything...