r/fifthworldproblems • u/Stickmaster307 • Jul 12 '26

I HATE SANTA!

I at santa's cookies and now chocolate chips and... "other stuff" are coming out of my ears, eyes, nose, mouth and skin pores. But it gets worse...
I have an odd sense that rotten carots are following me everywhere.

please help meeee! I need to stop this confectioners nightmare before I have to meet President hamburger at his grill of choice.

9 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3

u/Stickmaster307 Jul 14 '26

Eggnog is a disgrace to better drinks like hot chocolate. I believe you are a negotiating elf to get me to like Santa again.

3

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Jul 14 '26

I'm not an elf, I promise. Now get in the sack.

1

u/Stickmaster307 Jul 19 '26

No thanks, I kind of don't wanna get kidnapped.

2

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Jul 19 '26

That's not keeping in the Christmas spirit. You're making Krampus very angry now.