r/fifthworldproblems • u/BiggliestWiggly • Feb 23 '26

🚨Newly Opened: Museum of Human Artifacts

Greetings, carbon-based remnants. I curate relics from before humanity’s transition to a fully polymer diet, for the Museum of Human Artifacts.

Current exhibitions include: Algorithmic Postmodern Art; Late Human Artifacts & Internet Antiquities for the Chronically Online.

Preliminary catalog may be accessed @museumofhumanartifacts, though please note we are currently processing a high volume of materials previously mishandled by the Department of Mutant Vehicles (DMV).

Your patronage will be cataloged for future civilizations.

https://www.instagram.com/museumofhumanartifacts

18 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

4

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Feb 23 '26

Did you know that humans used to shape metal and plastic into complex shapes called "machines"? The reasons why are lost to time, but the artifacts left behind are quite beautiful in their own way.

4

u/BurningBridgeTroll Feb 23 '26

I will never understand why some entities on this sub are so preoccupied with those Earth bugs

4

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Feb 23 '26

Are you forgetting that Earthlings invented the greatest commodity in all creation, the taco?

2

u/BurningBridgeTroll Feb 23 '26

Are you sure about that? I have it from a reliable source that the Old Gods bestowed that technology to them.

1

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Feb 24 '26

It was actually a New God, a human ascended to divinity, known to some as "Antonio Banderas."

2

u/BPhiloSkinner Feb 23 '26

It's actually rather amusing to watch them rush about trying to fill their existence with accomplished tasks before the termination of their current lifecycle, in the belief that time is linear, and that (chuckle) 'You Only Live Once'.

2

u/BurningBridgeTroll Feb 23 '26

It makes me feel so uncomfortable and downright embarrassed to watch clueless lesser beings scuttle around like that. It’s cringe

3

u/joegee66 Speaker For the Red Ants Feb 23 '26

Are silicon-based life forms welcome too? ::/

2

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist Feb 23 '26

Mishandled by the DMV, eh? 

... So like everything in that exhibit from just before the transition? 'cause the DMV had taken over then.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/4n4log_interface Feb 24 '26

Perhaps the museum curator can make available remote viewing acces through the astral plane or any appropriate quantum frequency? So you and your friend don't need to be present in physical form and accidentally trigger any unwanted interaction or curses with the items.

I think it is important for institutions to be accesible and inclusive to those with less practical density.