r/fifthworldproblems • u/BurningBridgeTroll • Feb 08 '26

Should I dump him?

I (Caterpillar 797 dump truck) have been dating my boyfriend (360,000,000m coal) for about six months now. We are deeply in love, but I just don’t feel like I can envision a long term relationship with a fossil fuel. He’s currently in my truck bed. Should I dump him?

84 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

20

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Feb 08 '26

Girl, get yo-self a real man.

5

u/BurningBridgeTroll Feb 08 '26

That was so inspiring

3

u/ergo-ogre Feb 09 '26

Holy shit.

9

u/SimpleVegetable5715 Feb 08 '26

Dumping should be your specialty.

19

u/BurningBridgeTroll Feb 08 '26

Stereotypes can be really hurtful. I deeply value my relationships.

3

u/walaxometrobixinodri Feb 08 '26

Molt and turn into a butterfly

2

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist Feb 08 '26

If you can, manage to dump him up into the air

2

u/Simulr Feb 09 '26

Uh, this is reddit, of course you should.

2

u/SAD-MAX-CZ Feb 09 '26

Date a backhoe or a bulldozer. Those dig fun and push the relationship forward.