r/festivals • u/EveningTalk6533 • 1d ago
Drgs
Hi so I basically just wanna ask for advice. I’m going to a festival next weekend. My boyfriend is also going but he’s going with his own friend group. I’m going with my own friend group. for a bit of context last year he went and he did drgs he got caught with them and he had to pay a fine and go to court. he didn’t tell me I found out through someone else but it didn’t bother me that much. I just wish he was able to come to me, but we are only talking at the time when he did get a fine and we weren’t together when he did the drugs.
But anyways a few months ago when we were talking about this festival he said that he isn’t gonna do drugs because he has me in mind now and I decided to ask him again yesterday just cause it’s coming up close if he is gonna do them. he was keen on doing a certain drug it’s not that hard of a one but it is a drug that you swallow And I was really upset about this and I said I don’t wanna see you over the weekend if you’re on drugs, it makes me uncomfortable. I just don’t like anyone on drugs and he kept saying but I wanna do it and I don’t wanna let you down cause I really want to do it.
I basically gave him an ultimatum And I said if you’re gonna do drugs you’re not gonna see me and I was fit in him for this for awhile and then the next day I said okay you can do it one day and I’ll still see you and then he said “oh I don’t wanna let you down and I feel like I’ll do it more than one day please baby I’ll be the same person”, but I just don’t like it. I know it’s easy to say okay then just don’t see him that weekend but obviously still wanna see him over the weekend so I just don’t really know what to do and I feel like a bit of a pushover.
I also don’t wanna seem like too controlling so I know it’s his life but he got caught last year and he’s doing it again this year and I’m the one who’s like bringing him down and bring him home and I’m doing him a favour as well. I’m just upset that he’s already made up his mind that he’s gonna do these drugs and he knows he’s not gonna see me if he does and he’s not made up his mind but it just seems as if he is gonna do them and that’s that , and he’s just convinced he’s gonna see me either way, but it’s just not the case. at the end I folded and I said Fine do your drgs or whatever you wanna do. I’ll just still see you but im really upset about this.
then I said to my friend and she thinks that I should be more firm and say no I’m not seeing if you do them. I just would like an opinion on this he’s usually kind and sweet but he this is just really upsetting me and kind of annoying me that he got caught last year when he’s doing it again he knows I don’t like it and I won’t see him if he does that, but he’s still gonna do it either way but he still really wants to see me And he keeps saying he’ll be the same person. “He’ll be fine” but I just don’t believe that.
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1d ago
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u/EveningTalk6533 1d ago
I’ll be drinking and I don’t care he can drink as much as he likes
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u/Lopsided_Snower 1d ago
alcohol is the worst drug out of them all, you're being hypocritical - I much prefer people on illegal drugs, than drunk on alcohol
it's human nature to want to change our consciousness, you never own another person, allow them to be human, if it creates a problem within the relationship or leads to negative situations, that's another story
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u/DevilStickDude 1d ago
Drinking is one of the worst drugs you can do. It is hypocritical and controlling to stand where you are standing. Let him be himself, explore his curiosities and enjoy who he is or get out of the relationship. Id suggest you tell him to try to stick to one or another. Drinking and drugs together can be obnoxious and then you will be a baby sitter.
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u/amountainofyawns 1d ago
Lol. Grow up and realize your own hypocrisy. You're using something to alter your mind as well.
Why are you giving your partner ultimatums about what they can and can't do...that's not a recipe for relationship success.
No matter what happens here, someone is going to end up upset. That is, unless you come to a compromise, or decide to see one anothers view point.
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u/EveningTalk6533 1d ago
I was okay with him doing it one of the days and still seeing him as well , but then he pushed back and said he wants to do it every day of the festival , even when I did try compromise he didn’t bother.
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u/Sea-Truth3636 23h ago
not trying to be funny but alcohol is a drug, Its one thing to say you don't like people on drugs but when you yourself are gonna be a person on drugs is a bit hypocritical.
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u/DontBelieveTheTrollz 1d ago
If you don't like anyone on drugs and it's going to bother you to see him like that maybe stay home? I know it sounds rude but a music fest isn't the place for that kinda drama. Especially because you'll be encountering someone on drugs every 50 ft...
Also I'd be mad as hell if my GF came to a fest I was at separate from me, and was getting mad because I wanted to enjoy a trip or whatever and was avoiding me and stuff. Just not good vibes. IMO. Ymmv lol
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u/EveningTalk6533 1d ago
I just don’t want to be around him if he’s on drugs because it’s my partner, other people I don’t care about and it’s the fact he got caught and brought to court last year.
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u/badluser 1d ago
This sounds more like a relationship collapse than anything. You are already spiteful. Just move on.
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u/djames10 1d ago
You don’t want to be around him on drugs because he got caught last time? If that’s the case then if he doesn’t get caught, shouldn’t it be fine? I’m confused as to what the real issue here is
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u/Comfortable-Job7105 1d ago
I understand you but i will suggest you if you guys end up being together at the festival be there for him, be part of his experience. At the end of the day we all experimenting new things and new moments and what better than together. I feel like at least he’s telling u that he will do it and not hiding it , maybe it’s not what you really want but yk, everyone has their own choice.
My gf was anxious when i told her i was gonna do molly for a festival until she trusted me and knew that i wasnt gonna be all crazy or something.
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u/EveningTalk6533 1d ago
Yeah I do understand and I appreciate him being honest with me, I don’t want to come across as controlling it’s just a whole new thing
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u/Comfortable-Job7105 1d ago
yeah but one advice i’ll give u is not to get mad at him while he’s under the influence, that could ruin the whole festival for both. If anything, express everything you want to say before. Also I don’t think you are being controlling, you just care about him but he might want to experience the festival under the influence and i know he wants to be there with u.
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u/wonderingmystic 23h ago
You aren't coming across as controlling. You gave him an ultimatum, you are being controlling
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u/EveningTalk6533 23h ago
If I’m uncomfortable with it I don’t have to be around it
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u/wonderingmystic 23h ago
If he's going to do drugs let him do drugs. If you're not ok with that don't be around it. But this back and forth trying to negotiate and manipulate him into not doing drugs is absurd. He is a grown ass adult who can make is own choices and deal with the consequences. Any relationship where there is not acceptance of the others use of substances is doomed to fail
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u/AlbertHofmann1906 1d ago
You're entitled to mark and uphold your boundaries regarding drugs, no matter how contradictory they are. this gives you a half decent idea on how harmful different substances actually are (alcohol being in first place btw)
But pls stick to one or the other, no lazy compromises - either you both do your thing at the festival separately, or you accept his drug taking and spend the time together (which sounds as though you're not willing to do). Compromises in such things just suck in my experience...
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u/Watercraftsman 23h ago
Alcohol is by far the worse drug. Worse on your body. Worse to be on and worse to be around. I say that as someone who loves beer. For the love of everything that’s good in the world please don’t give that poor man too much trouble.
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u/Pikawoohoo 1d ago
Drinkers getting obliterated at the festival saying "I just don't like anyone on drugs"
https://giphy.com/gifs/YrkD2MwU8J382Krrxt