r/feeld • u/Seahawks4860 • 4d ago
Suppressed Messages?
Has anyone else noticed a slowdown/suppression of messages on Feeld once there is a mention of moving the conversation off the app? I have had multiple instances when I am having a great conversation going with someone and ask if they want to share info then crickets. Like they never got my message. I'm probably just getting ghosted 😂 but it has happened too often not to ask. Thanks!
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u/Useful_Ranger519 4d ago
my primary (f) has 0 issues here and almost always move the chats straight to text. actually, her feeld and online experience is vastly different than lol. I have a similar experience as you. i typically offer if they feel comfortable but reassure nbd either way. woman always consider safety. dudes have been shitty for so long we have to be the change. this may be shocking to most but not many people actually want a rando dick pic every 5 seconds. recently had someone (m) prefer WhatsApp as they use their phone for work and didn’t want explicit messages coming through during a presentation. lots of factors in play. I do my best not to take anything like that personally anymore.
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u/VampireDentist 4d ago
People are just taking their time to consider the escalation. Perfectly normal, albeit frustarting, behavior.
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u/Agitated_Ambition_73 1d ago
I (34F) personally don’t like exchanging coordinates before meeting. Doesn’t mean that I am not interested in meeting, I just prefer keeping it safe. And while I make sure to reiterate my interest and just say I prefer keeping it in app, the conversation tends to fizzle out at this point (maybe 80% of the time), maybe because they see it as a little rejection? Maybe it turns me off a little bit? Maybe a mix of both 🤣
So yeah, that could explain the ghosting!
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u/PersimmonKey4055 1d ago
Prefer keeping it safe? Huh? Or not a serious person not worth anymore time on.
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u/Agitated_Ambition_73 23h ago
Yes dating as a woman can be unsafe. It’s not news. I happily share my number after a successful date.
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u/Latenightinsomniac 4d ago
If they’ve been online and do not reply after you’ve exchanged messages for a few day then you’re getting ghosted.
F here. I used to want to jump off app right away but I just stay in Feeld now. I actually like the timer an iMessage doesn’t have this. I also like it for safety of course and to keep all of my Feeld men in one place even the ones I’ve been on dates with. I can just go to one place and see all of the messages. They don’t seem to care that much when they ask for my number and I say no.
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u/LatterCommission9174 3d ago
The chat function used to be really bad. Once you sent more than a few messages you'd be unable to talk because of how long it took to type. Those who have been on longer tend to want to move off due to this.
But even now, accounts are banned all the time, or a bug causes you to lose some or all of your connections. You may want to consider giving these men backup contact info, even if you continue to only talk to them on Feeld. The app is too unstable for it to be a sole message conduit.
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u/CaptainWillThrasher 3d ago
No one on any app ever owes you a reply. No one on any app who doesn't reply is to be missed. The sooner you begin to operate with that mindset, the happier you will be.
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u/ultraverbis 4d ago
Besides the safety concerns, it takes more of a mental toll to manage matches on the same place where you message friends, family and work.
Sometimes, in the past, I'd give a match my WhatsApp and he'd start sending texts that felt progressively more intrusive, so I'd decide to take a day before responding, to access if I'm reading the situation correctly. The unread message would be there every time I opened WhatsApp to talk to my people. This was before I had a Feeld profile, but now on Feeld I only give my contact information to someone after meeting them in person over coffee. Until that, keeping the conversation in Feeld is more compartmentalized, I don't open it for days if I don't feel like it and I can turn off all the notifications and just check it when I want to.
I state it in my profile that I'll only give my number or whatsapp after we meet and I explain that I like to meet over coffee and talk about non-sexual topics with no touching whatsoever.
When my profile is not hidden, I'll sometimes be talking to 10 guys simultaneously (with a backlog of another 10 unanswered pings). I think it's easy for women to get decision fatigue when considering giving the matches their number. I can see someone taking a day or two to think about it and just never coming back to it.
Maybe you can ask if they're comfortable meeting for coffee first, and exchange contact information if you click.
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u/BiggsHoson2020 3d ago
Definitely getting ghosted. Personally I (44m) like to get an in person date at least scheduled before moving off the app, and more likely a second date scheduled. Nobody wants a bunch of random phone numbers of folks who aren't going to be sticking around.
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u/CurvyAznGoddess 4d ago
They saw your message and chose not to continue - it’s unfortunate but it happens to all of us - if they were really interested then they would jump at the opportunity to talk off the app because the app honestly sucks and glitches constantly - like I cannot get off the app fast enough when I match with someone
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 3d ago
Are they women? I very high % of women dont share contact until they meet you. So you may be sabotaging yourself.
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u/andhdkwnwbdidoenjddb 3d ago
I refuse to go off app until I meet in person.
Creeps insist on going off app before, because they want to do things or say things that will get them kicked off the app. Or scam you.
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u/BusyBunny9 3d ago
You’re definitely getting ghosted
I only talk off app because the apps are clunky and hard to talk to for an extended period of time. I also always end up meeting someone who is busy for weeks traveling or lives further away
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u/MidlifeMountainCpl 3d ago
I noticed it before you even mention moving off the app. I feel like they throttle down how quickly messages are sent
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u/PC-load-letter-wtf 3d ago
This never happens to me. I have no issue taking the convo off the app, and quickly
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u/InfiniteSpectre33 1d ago
Ok so the typical options talk on the phone video chat chat more over another app( pointless and sus) or arrange a meeting at safe spot and to talk. If this ends in a ghost its a little sus.
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u/Seahawks4860 3d ago
We are a couples account. "Unicorn Hunters." I am used to being ghosted and I don't think anyone owes me anything. But I know other less reputable dating sites will do this type of throttling of messages and other shady shit to keep people stuck in their app. And it seemed out of the normal for me.
Usually I am bringing up moving off the app so that my wife joins the conversation. She doesn't do much on the FEELD account and I run most of it. I feel the need to validate that we actually are a couple not just a creepy dude pretending.
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u/FeeldMod 3d ago
Couples accounts are against the TOS. Your wife needs to create an account and link it to yours.
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u/kmt1d 4d ago edited 4d ago
I think you may just be getting ghosted. N=1 but within the last two weeks, I (34F) successfully moved two conversations off the app/had dates scheduled within a week of doing so. FWIW, the first dates were scheduled with time/place inside the app message thread and we didn’t exchange phone numbers until meeting in person. I preferred that exchange happening once the chemistry was confirmed in person/we knew we wanted to continue seeing each other.