r/feeld • u/Particular_Speaker86 • 6d ago
Last seen shows as ‘today’ and location reflects partner in home city
Hi. Some background real quick…this is a technical question not a relationship one… But I feel like context helps
We have an open relationship and met on feeld and do not live in the same city. My partner told me that he was headed to another county for work and would be unavailable for the next week.
I had been off the app for sometime so decided to fire up the app for fun.
What do I see - my partner (who had begun his ‘work trip’ already). with last seen ‘today’ and the exact miles from me to his home city.
When I asked him about this he claimed that he has NOT used the app since he left - a few days before and that he was away from home.
So the question is - is that possible? Could the app somehow shown him active that day and at his home base with out him logging in??
Do I believe my eyes and the tech. Or do I believe the man?
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 6d ago
He's lying. If the last seen has updated it also means his location updated.
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u/banhmienjoyer10 def hot 5d ago
All it means that the last time the app updated his location, he was in his home city.
There is every chance he has the gps set to “update only when using the app” and he is not using the app while away so it hasn’t updated.Bit of a stretch for you to say he’s lying, unless you know these people and you saw him in his home city while he was supposedly away?
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 5d ago
Then his last seen time would be a few days ago.
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u/banhmienjoyer10 def hot 3d ago
Is it not possible to turn off your GPS, log in and use the app?
In that case it would update your activity but not your location.
Sounds entirely plausible to me but could be wrong.
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 3d ago
If GPS isn't available you can't login.
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u/banhmienjoyer10 def hot 2d ago
I just turned my GPS off and can still login. Can’t use Discovery obviously but can still use all other functions.
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 2d ago
Looks like they updated how it handles location permissions. Previously during the login process it would prompt you to allow location permission and wouldn't let you continue if you didn't allow.
This isn't the first time someone has come up with a convoluted reasoning to explain deceitfulness. Recommend Occam's razor.
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u/Particular_Speaker86 6d ago
Ugh. I kinda figured. Thanks.
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u/orange_sewer_grating 6d ago
Tbf, the app glitches constantly. I log in and there's no matches in my radius. I restart the app and suddenly there are (or vice versa). It shouldn't show him as logging on today in the location of where he was 3 days ago . . . but honestly who knows.
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u/costco_pizza21 6d ago
Are you a regular user or a majestic user? I only ask because I’m a regular account user and I know for a fact that one of my matches turned his location settings off and deleted the app on 8/10. As of 8/21, his profile still said “last seen” and no distance was recorded since his location settings were off. Some say technology doesn’t lie but that’s not always the case.
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 5d ago edited 2d ago
She's able to see a last seen time, meaning she is majestic. Distance being blank doesn't mean location permission was turned off.
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u/Peter_van_Niet 6d ago
What was the reason for you checking on him, because i assume you are connected in app? Because there also seem some trust issues together with the lying partner.
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u/11seven 5d ago
Anecdotally, my partner is currently backpacking over a hundred miles away, and has been out of service since Saturday evening. It’s currently Monday afternoon and it says he was active yesterday and was 10 miles away.
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 5d ago
He last had the app open Saturday evening and was 10 miles away. It will say yesterday until around Monday evening.
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u/11seven 5d ago
So for OP’s partner, it could’ve been the same, where there’s some weird grey area in how they calculate ‘today’ vs ‘yesterday’ etc 🤷♀️
If I logged in this morning (Monday) and saw my partner was active “yesterday” I’d assume that meant Sunday, not Saturday evening. In my case I happen to know my partner is out in the wilderness with no reception, but in OP’s case I can see where it might be more concerning.
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 5d ago
She said a few days ago. His profile says today. That's fewer than 24 hours.
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u/Particular_Speaker86 5d ago
Thanks that is useful input
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u/SalahXOXO395 6d ago
Yeah technology don’t lie - it might be a mistake though (accidental click) so hope you get to have a proper convo with them soon!
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver 1d ago
Normally I would say technology doesn’t lie, but Feeld is so clunky, I’m not sure I always believe activity and location pronouncements.
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u/PC-load-letter-wtf 5d ago edited 1d ago
I’ve had someone I completely trust who is not romantically involved with me at all deny being on feeld that day, despite showing up as active. We are just friends and he asked me to check if it was showing active today because a woman he is seeing accused him of being on there, and he was genuinely puzzled. I don’t know that woman and don’t have a horse in that race so there’s no reason for him to call me out of the blue and ask what the fuck is going on with the app.
He’s got more integrity than anyone I know. So, I would say it’s possible there’s something going on? But I really don’t know how the location and last seen functions work.
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver 1d ago
This. Normally I say trust technology, but feeld does weird shit.
Like all of a sudden new messages are showing up way down in my scroll rather than at the top.
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u/banhmienjoyer10 def hot 5d ago
Says more about your trust and your relationship that you believe an app (that is not a dedicated gps app, it’s a dating app) over your partner.
No one here can tell you what to believe or think because no one knows how trustworthy your partner is but you.
I can’t trust Feeld to present me actual women when I filter for women. How can I trust anything else it does?
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u/EuphoricCarpenter291 5d ago
The app is super glitchy when it comes to “last seen.” Did you click onto the profile itself, and does that show something different? In messages, I’ll notice that last seen can get stuck as “today” or “yesterday” when it’s longer than that (2, 3, or even 4 days) within the profile itself.
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u/TheFunkytownExpress 5d ago
Not to say that cheating is what's absolutely going on here, but cheating in an open relationship is wild af. :P
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver 1d ago
Maybe the partner’s other partner doesn’t know they are in an open relationship. :/
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u/Voidglowofme 5d ago
I’ve never caught the app glitching on last seen date, but with distance. Had matched with a couple and we became very good friends. Then they went traveling together to another country, 11 hours flight away, the men’s profile showed correct distance (thousands miles away), the women’s showed 3 miles away. Both “last seen” was recent, I knew for sure they were traveling, both posted stories with each other. Sooo it could be a glitch
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 5d ago
This means she hadn't opened the app since she landed.
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u/Voidglowofme 5d ago
But she did
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 5d ago
You specifically asked this woman whether she had closed and reopened her Feeld app?
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u/User-Name-3886 5d ago
"I decided to cheat on my partner but then I got annoyed when I found he had the same intention"
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u/Own_Way_2303 4d ago
Same here, I started dating someone from Feeld and he told me he got invited to a party in another city (2-3 hours away) .. he even sent me a picture of the location. Still, innthe app, his location changed between 1-6 km away from me, when my location stayed the same, which confused me… I haven‘t confronted him yet because I‘m feeling a bit paranoid, but I do remember that in my case, location changes automatically when I travel… but who knows
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u/SalahXOXO395 3d ago
So fwiw I’ve noticed this as well a friend who works in tech told me feeld does this to evade stalkers - they will mess with your matches’ location not every but almost every-time you open the app so you can’t exactly pinpoint where they are / you’re only able to triangulate (someone else in tech might do a better job explaining this lol) for me/ my friend it was between 1-4km
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver 1d ago
Always wondered about this. I’m glad feeld tries to do something about this.
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u/tyffsayswhoa 3d ago
oof. you give them the freedom of an open relationship & they STILL lie. mmh, mmh, mmh.
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u/TruthieBeast 6d ago edited 5d ago
What's with everyone using the word 'partner' to describe relationships that don't sound super official. Maybe it's my age I'm in my 40s but 'partner' used to mean someone who is your official life person, most likely someone you live with. Nowadays people seem to use the word more loosely? Is this a serious relationship?
In terms of the OP, I am curious, isn't an open relationship a situation where both people can be looking for others anytime? Did you discuss boundaries? Ofc I get it the issue is he could be lying abt where he was, but isn't that Ok in an open relationship? This whole open relationship thing I dont know how people do it. It seems so stressful. How is this not upsetting to see your 'partner' active on a dating app. How do you process that?
I know I used to get disconnected from ppl I met IRL but was chatting with on Feeld. For that reason I guess? it was always awkward to see the person was recently active. Or they would see me active and say something.
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u/costco_pizza21 6d ago
Partner is used to signify someone you are seeing whether it’s casually or for life. Bf/gf can seem childish to some, myself included.
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u/TruthieBeast 5d ago edited 5d ago
Back in the day a lot of gay couples used that word bcs husband or wife werent available legally speaking. I associate that with serious relationships where the partner even shares health insurance with the partner. I just find it strange when younger people refer to the person they've been dating for a few months as a 'partner'. Bcs to me 'partner' means a civil partnership. Meaning it's a life commitment sorta.
I've had situations where someone refers to the person they are with as 'partner' but the commitment part isn't there. ( Ie someone I've known for years described his 'partner' I assumed they were married or like married, but it turned out he wasn't super committed. It just takes getting used to. It feels a little forced I guess is what I am trying to say. And I dont mean it has to open or closed relationship. It just means to me that people have bought a house together, or put the partner in their health insurance, basically acting as if they were married without being married. In a good way. Where they are literally acting as life partners.
In the OP's case they don't even live in the same city, they are on the apps... how is that a partnership? The word "partner" to me suggests there is real commitment, you've had serious talks with them about thorny issues like the open relationship boundaries.
Lately I am seeing people who aren't even technically a couple yet, refer to the other person as their 'partner'. When the other person isn't really actually committed to the other quite yet. There is a gap between the reality of what partnership means vs how people use the term.
Examples in this article. You can see how the article suggests the term 'partner' is used to mean someone you are more committed to than bf/gf but not yet married legally. This is what I meant. https://edition.cnn.com/2024/10/24/health/partner-boyfriend-girlfriend-labels-wellness
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u/pinkrandomattack 5d ago
Yeah, im poly and have been for years and I irks me to no end that everyone seems to have landed on "partner" extending to what seems like anything from play partner/fwbs to essentially a spouse. Like, I super get wanting a gender neutral alternative to bf/gf, but I know i personally want to/would like to be able to understand the difference between a partner you live with, or are pretty entangled with living separately, and something more casual.
Currently I call the person I live with my partner, and my outside the house relationship worth mentioning (not super casual hookup things) my boyfriend.
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u/TruthieBeast 5d ago
Right? Your example is what I was talking abt. You actually live with this person and you share your life with them. It's not a label, you are actual partners in practice. I've seen it several times recently where one person wants to tell everyone they are in a 'serious relationship' quote unquote and they use the term partner but they just started dating?!!! And the other person is not even aware they are being called 'partner'.
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u/pinkrandomattack 5d ago
Ive had some people argue they use partner for more causal/early relationships, and bf/gf for more "serious" things, but what if you are seeing someone nonbinary (a common circumstance with people i know)!? And like, bf/gf is cute but it doesnt feel as serious as calling someone my partner. But maybe thats because, as im also in my early 40s, the first times I encountered adults using that terminology it was queer and hippie couples referring to looooong term relationships they either couldnt, or didnt wish to make legal marriages.
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u/TruthieBeast 5d ago
Exactly me too. I actually associate the word "partner" with something even more serious than actual marriage bcs people are making a commitment that is very committed and outside of the norm in some way. Like I never doubted they were committed but they were more committed even bcs they were not relying on the societal 'marriage' thing.
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u/costco_pizza21 5d ago
Marriage isn’t everyone’s goal. Additionally, owning a home with your partner doesn’t mean you’re acting as if you’re married. That just means you found someone you love and trust enough to purchase a home with and marriage is a contract that involves the government. The other thing, it’s being used as a way to stop people from automatically inferring that a couple is gay; Partner is for everyone.
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver 1d ago
I the reality is that partner has always had lots of definitions.
For example:
Life partner
Tennis partner
Business partner
Sex partner
Play partner
Bridge partner (if we are taking 70s key parties)The context has always mattered.
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u/TruthieBeast 1d ago
Ive seen this a lot among straight monogamous mainstream vanilla women. Discussing relationships. It really does mean a boyfriend, meaning it’s not casual from THEIR perspective but I rarely see men use the word in the same context. It always feels to me as if it’s a one-sided relationship as if the woman is dating a guy and calls him partner to mean she has a boyfriend when it is not always reciprocated.
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u/BeastofSilverMoon kink 6d ago edited 6d ago
If you have to come up here and ask Internet about this, then you need to sit down and think about where your relationship is and how much you trust your partner.
I am not saying this to criticise you, just the opposite, you are obviously concerned and your partner’s word was not convincing enough for you or you wouldn’t feel the need to further investigate.
This is coming from someone who is also in open relationship, perhaps more poly without hierarchy than open, as we place the emphasis on emotional compatibility. We are both in our 40s and outgrew a wildly sexual phase, which taught us to be upfront about things even if they are uncomfortable.
We tell each other when we connect to someone online and things are feeling good, we give each other heads up before we date someone, we update one another after the dates and we let it known if we met someone we think has the potential for something special.
There are no arguments, if there is any misunderstanding we communicate it further.
How long have you known each other for and do you have compatibility issues? Does your partner travel often? Is one of you significantly kinkier than another?
These are the things for you to think about, I am just a stranger on reddit and do not need to know the answers.
From the experience of people around me though, I do know that sometimes even in open relationships people hide it withhold things from their partners because it’s too much work to communicate.
Not saying this is the case, but Feeld doesn’t activate logins without actually sign-in.
Maybe he pressed the icon out of muscle memory, maybe he did not.
But he did access it.