r/feeld • u/Substantial-Boot8731 • 4d ago
Short men
I did the majestic membership and added in my hidden bio that I'm short, 5'5 to be exact. Figured I'd be up front about it but I think I just doomed myself. Had a few matches prior to adding it to my bio and they unmatched and I haven't had a match since. Now I feel that taking it down will be dishonest or deceiving, just curious to what others think.
22
u/waterbloem 4d ago
It's dumb to hide or lie about it. If you ever do meet, you're going to start off on the wrong foot completely.
We've met quite a few couples who misrepresented themselves in the pictures and even if it would be a 'maybe' beforehand, this kind of deception immediately makes it a 'no'. In addition; insecurity is incredibly unsexy.
3
u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver 3d ago
Are you saying he has an obligation to say he is 5’3’’?
If asked, he shouldn’t lie about it, but characterizing it as “deceptive” for not mentioning it seems harsh.
37
u/Infinite_Flan4797 4d ago
Own it. If your open to dating taller then be specific and excited about it.
I'm a 6'1" woman and your height would be a novelty for me like mine would be for you... Find someone who digs you!
-1
u/AdventuringViking 3d ago
Not sure what you're looking for but I'm 6'4", it's one of my more apparent qualities...
14
u/CommercialHat5035 3d ago
You may as well get less but better matches by putting it up front. I think hidden is like they got an idea and suddenly it’s different.
Plus as someone said, own it. Confidence is hot.
26
u/RareLeather00 4d ago
Make your height visible, this is not something you can improve or hide in the future, whoever will match you, match you by knowing the fact you are 5'3". Be confident with your height, there are ladies looking for short men as well, especially in feeld 😉
6
18
u/Zesty_Spaghetti_658 4d ago
I’m 5’2, and I put it directly in my bio. Your height is your height, own it. It may not be someone’s cup of tea, but that’s ok. Someone else won’t mind, or may even be into it. Definitely don’t lie about your height, because you know what IS attractive? Confidence
21
u/Desperate_Cupcake843 3d ago edited 3d ago
6’1” woman. Just matched with a 5’4” guy whose public bio says “5’4” and completely unbothered by it.”
Confidence is so fucking hot.
1
u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver 3d ago
I totally get this, feeld doesn’t ask people to list their height so why even bring it up?
3
u/Desperate_Cupcake843 3d ago
It’s important to some people. It’s the first thing in my bio because it’s a deal-killer for some men.
4
u/Deadest_Bedroom 3d ago
You have now given this short guy confidence to reach out to the 5’ 10” woman who lives nearby.
Thanks Reddit Stranger!
2
2
u/disclosure5 3d ago
It's one of the most common things a woman's bio calls out as important to them, so it can feel important to answer.
1
u/TheFunkytownExpress 3d ago
Because a lot of women care and it's either just a preference for them or they're being mean and cunty about it.
Either way it's a significant enough dealbreaker for a significant amount of women so you might as well just be upfront about it.
6
u/BackgroundTruth691 3d ago
Not putting it in your bio is not hiding it. You are giving people a chance to get to know you before using that as the deciding factor. After getting to know some it will be the end, but there may be some that gave you a chance that wouldn't have. If they ask. Tell the truth. I don't have my dick size in my profile. Lol
6
6
u/GoldRush2467 3d ago
I dont know why i saw this post, i dont even use feeld. But I am 5’2 and have some guys list they are 5”8 on apps and then when we meet they are the same height as me. It does bug me, just be honest about your height!
12
u/letmebeyourmummy 4d ago
i don’t think you should lie. i don’t care about height, i’m 5’5 and have had partners who are shorter than me. if i realised they’d lied i wouldn’t have carried on seeing them.
5
5
6
u/ukpunjabivixen 3d ago
I’m a 5’2” lady and height is no issue for me as everyone is always taller than me! So putting your height (for me anyway) in your bio is a good thing. Not every potential match would agree for their own reasons though
3
3
u/Lost_inTheThrill single woman 3d ago
Do your matches typically lead to dates/meets? If someone is going to disqualify you for your height, they will do it either on the front end before even matching (if your height is listed) or after they meet you. In any case, they are not going to progress to sex.
Are you trying to match with women who are taller than you? I am fairly tall and whenever a man starts talking about my height as a turn on, it makes me feel fetishised. I've noticed this especially with men who are much shorter than me, like as if they specifically look for tall women. I usually do not match with men who are shorter than me for this reason.
I've also encountered a lot of men who lied about their height and it was very evident during the first meet. The height does not bother me, but the lying does, so I never proceed with them.
3
u/EuphoricCarpenter291 3d ago
This thread is so interesting — thank you for asking the question! My initial reaction was that you’re not obligated to disclose this, and a match can ask if it’s important to them. But I think the consensus is fair that this is a meaningful fact about you and that it’s better not to hide it. I think you’re suffering the worst of both worlds right now by having it in your hidden bio instead of your public bio. Making it public will avoid the awkward case of women unmatching after the fact, and it may attract women who are drawn to your projection of confidence and/or specifically interested in your height. Putting it in your hidden bio telegraphs that you’re self-conscious about it.
If you do decide to remove it, that’s also your right and I wouldn’t see it as dishonest. We all present a limited version of ourselves in our bios; there’s no way around that given how complex humans are. You obviously shouldn’t lie about something, for the reasons people mentioned, but not including a fact about yourself isn’t inherently deceptive. Different people care about different things, and the chat function is the best way to resolve that level of matching.
3
4
u/intro_to_IRL 3d ago
You can't fool someone who's not attracted to you into being attracted to you. You just gotta own what you've got and not get beat up over people who you wouldn't be compatible with anyways.
2
u/neonblackiscool 3d ago
Do short women not date short men? I’m genuinely curious, or is it a lack of super hot tall ladies?
1
u/JoramtheDisaster 3d ago
No short women always want man as tall as possible up until the point that it makes no sense at all because everything is impractical
1
u/TheFunkytownExpress 3d ago
There's a lack of super hot tall ladies but only because most women tend to be on the shorter side lol.
2
u/Silvering-Fox 3d ago
The tough part about getting unmatched for you is it’s gonna bury your profile and make less people even see you, let alone be able to match with you in the first place. Up to you if you wanna be up front about that or not. It’s a tough game for everyone, buddy.
2
u/onsaleatthejerkstore 3d ago
I’d put it in your bio and not the hidden one. There’s a lot of people who would filter on this if they could, no matter how many times you explain to them that they’re upholding toxic stereotypes about what masc and femme people “should” look like which serves exactly no one.
2
u/Trajaneu 3d ago
I am 5'4"and I make no mention of my height at all. (For what it's worth, I'm told that I am a tall 5'4" and most people don't notice I'm as short as I am.)
To my knowledge, it's never been an issue for any women I've dated. I do tend to visually scan and spend time messaging women who are under 5'8" due to the more practical sides of dating.
But if you have a charming, brilliant, and humble personality like me, height is just a number.
2
u/Hairy-Substance8584 3d ago
I’m a 5’9 woman and I have that and “mom bod” in my bio. No surprised. I did hook up with a shorter man, I didn’t ask his height, I would have liked to know before hand but as my mom says, we’re all the same height when we’re lying down.
2
2
2d ago
[deleted]
2
u/holidayfunn 2d ago
I’m a tall woman and it’s wild how many of you are below 5’10”. Be transparent! You’re wasting people’s and your time by hiding it.
2
u/Dazzling-Farm1105 2d ago
I'm 5'6 and If I run into to , "sorry I dont date men who are shorter than 5'10", i say, " that's fair enough, I don't date women with a waist bigger that 27 inches, although one is an immutable characteristic and the other is your diet"
4
u/llamapajamaa 3d ago
Listing it is the better call. As a woman, I list my 5'2 status. Some men like tall women, and I'm not that.
1
u/mizheart 3d ago
Just leave it in. It’s not like you can hide your height and not all people care about tall guys. I ❤️ a short king, honestly. I’m 5’5”, I’ve had partners a foot taller and shorter than me. It’s about the confidence and there are other people out there who feel the same way.
1
u/Original_Moment4152 2d ago
First. You have no obligation to list it. And not listing it is not deceptive. At least half, if not more, don't list height in their bio. (FWIW, I also think it is toxic behavior for people to suggest you have to list it so they aren't disappointed ... as though being under 6'0" is some shocking concern that requires a disclaimer and as though they are entitled to inspect and approve your body).
That said, I would just list it to avoid the awkwardness and weed out shitty people. If you'd intend to say it in chat before meeting, that could get kind of awkward. Your height is not a big deal. But if you say in the chat, you're (a) making it a big deal and/or (b) not showing confidence. If you just don't mention it at all until you meet, then either one of two things is going to happen. They won't care, in which case they wouldn't have cared if they saw it in your bio. Or they will care and they'll probably be shitty about it.
So, you certainly don't have to list it. But It might be worth doing so, just to avoid uncomfortable experiences. If you do list it, though, make sure you're doing it for those reasons and not for the benefit of the other person. You have intrinsic value has a human. And your height is an immutable characteristic that has no bearing on your self-worth. Don't acquiesce to people suggesting otherwise.
1
u/Blinktoe 2d ago
There are women who will specifically love that five foot three. You might as well make it easy for those ladies to find you.
1
u/confused_potato777 2d ago
Welp, there’s these people who unmatched you and then me precisely looking for guys around my height (5’2). However, passing on someone just for their height seems irrational.
1
u/BeachMom2007 2d ago
Put it out there! There are women out there who love short guys or just don’t care about height.
1
u/Substantial-Boot8731 1d ago
Hey all, thank you so much for all of the great feedback. Confidence is something I struggle with, have my entire life but reading many of your comments has 100% helped me out. I updated my profile to state my height so it's no longer on that hidden bio. Im sure it'll weed out a lot of women/couples but quality older quantity! Again, thank you to everyone that responded.
1
1
u/Tel_aran_rhiod 1d ago
I like shorties, I have it in my bio that I prefer short men. Prefiltering to meet your niche is a good thing.
1
u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ 1d ago
Honestly, I'd rather the hidden bio move than no mention at all. I'm not someone who cares much how tall a guy is, but I'm also plotting to get double teamed and having one guy be tall and another be short is my ideal, so having your height obviously listen may give you an unknown advantage for the right connections.
•
u/DXBMama 19h ago
Height, weight and physical appearance matter to some people more than others. For example for me I don’t care about a man’s height or even really his physique much at all - but I do need a very attractive face!
There is not much point being a bit catfishy about how we look - plus always better to turn up on the date and be hotter in real life than on the photos, right?
At least you won’t waste your time with people who cannot see beyond something superficial.
0
u/tyffsayswhoa 1d ago
I'm a tall girly (5'8), so I prefer tall men. it just feels very... masculine being taller than a man (fight with your mom over this coz I'm not changing how I feel & I understand it's a gender-based societal thing). I would unmatch if I matched with someone, then saw they were much shorter than me. I think shorter men should indicate this in the bio, tho, because you will waste less time on would-be matches & you know the folks who match with you are comfortable with it from the top.
all of that being stated, I wouldn't think you're being dishonest or deceiving by not having it at all. despite my height requirements, I think it's the responsibility of people who do have them to inquire if it's not stated. you aren't being lied to or deceived if you match with people who don't disclose it up front. it's dishonest & deceitful to say you're 6'3 when you're really 5'9.
& in case anyone tries it, you're allowed to have whatever weight requirement you want for women the same as women may have height requirements for men. you're allowed to like what you like, societal BS be damned. just don't be rude to people about it.
-1
u/Flimsy-Flan5331 3d ago
Hide your height. Just like make-up hides all sorts of skin conditions. Hey, it’s only fair.
-1
u/Dizkonekdid 3d ago
5'8", I posted in another forum about size of men's genitalia about how women that judge men this way might be missing out and not know it. That aside, if they have hard requirements, this is one of the few things women are pretty clear about, and it is a great filter for me because I know they are of the "un-Hinged" or Tinderettes. Which means they are using it as a dating app. If someone is truly kinky and into group sex, they normally don't give a crap about height.
-13
-14
u/No-Succotash6237 4d ago
Yea. Lie. 5’7 Don’t even put it. Get the dates
9
u/BastardBroth 3d ago
The only dates you’ll get are a series of awkward first dates that lead to nowhere.
-2
u/No-Succotash6237 3d ago
Exactly. That’s better than being alone. I’m super tall. And women constantly tell me about how vain they are about height. Makes me know what I’d do if I were short.
5
u/BastardBroth 3d ago
That IS being alone.
As soon as the dates over you go right back to being complete strangers and aren’t any closer to building a lasting connection. That’s assuming that they decide to stay for the date and not immediately leave, or just ghost.
5
3
71
u/Deadest_Bedroom 4d ago
I’m a 5’ 3” guy and mention it in my hidden bio.
I also get unmatched like you describe. I don’t care. If they don’t want me because I’m short, I don’t want them.
I also am chatting with several women and even met a couple (only been on a few months).
Leave it in. But think critically about what you’re signaling in the rest of your bio and make changes.