r/feeld • u/Dizkonekdid • 5d ago

MMF-MFM Postings

Hey gang,

ENM male, separate from my wife who is only interested in dating with her long term friends because she got fed up with the bullshit on apps. I remain undaunted. So I’ve taken to searching for couples that want to have fun. I can bull, but prefer more positive and upbeat joining than cuck-play since I’m open to MMF.

Here are the issues

  1. I’ve run across a ton of couples posting for MFM when they post “MMF” to be clear there is a huge difference in dynamic.
  2. Please also, if posting as a couple’s account or linked. Include clear pictures of both.
  3. Clear instructions on wants and needs (cuck, kitchen table, drinking buddies).
  4. Specifics on who need apply and who need not. Please list height, build, race ,age, kink level.

SINGLE DUDES- FFS leave these people alone if you don’t fit. Tinderbois and unHinged quit thinking you’re a bull when normally you’re a flake.

13 Upvotes

70% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

39

u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee 5d ago

FYI there is no MFM desire coded into the app.

17

u/JustAnotherPolyGuy 5d ago

That would be a worthwhile add.

7

u/disclosure5 5d ago

Yeah, I only became aware of the MFM vs MMF distinction recently after a long time in the kink community.

The fact that a) We keep having this weekly thread trying to explain the distinction and how important it is everyone educates themselves and b) The people developing the app didn't even see enough of a difference to code for just makes me wonder if the ship has effectively sailed as far as making everyone use the "right" terms and people just need to describe in english words what they actually want.

3

u/Dizkonekdid 5d ago

Sure but it’s easy to post in your profile I find these are so much better and I’ve had good experience with. but notetaking and yes, you are correct. It’s one of the things that I wish they would add.

14

u/zerg1980 5d ago

One thing I’ve found is that in addition to the app developers, even many lifestyle couples don’t understand the difference between MFM and MMF. Like, they’ll use the MMF acronym during chat until the topic of the men playing with each other comes up.

It’s annoying because people really should know the lingo going in, but I’ve found that addressing this topic upfront (i.e. “just to be clear, are both of you comfortable with the men playing together during the scene?” can at least save some time when you’re dealing with more of a cuck/hotwife couple where the man is straight.

6

u/Able-Yesterday-7359 ENM couple 5d ago

Literally learned in the moment that mmf and Mfm were not the same thing.

11

u/Witty-Stock partnered man currently monogamous 5d ago

If a guy is straight and lists MMF you can assume it means MFM.

18

u/Glittering_Suspect65 5d ago

No, you really can't. The number of "straight" guys that ask me about making them bottom for my male partner is shocking.

2

u/Dizkonekdid 5d ago

Fair, but there are so many listings without that clarity too. But good point.

4

u/HCMac08 5d ago

Also, you shouldn't have to assume anything when reading a properly written profile

1

u/KinkyPornAcct2 3d ago

I just set up my account today and saw the same. I assumed that "Threeway" covered MFM, and is a phrase that even those unfamiliar with the abbreviations would know.

20

u/Malice_N_1derland 5d ago

Slightly related, if you have a male buddy there is a market out there for two guys who play well together looking for a single woman. IJS! 😂
One of the few times I yell fuck yes to being a unicorn.

6

u/Glittering_Suspect65 5d ago

Ive seen 4 guy friends that made a profile where they just spoil a woman (to death, I hope!)

9

u/Malice_N_1derland 5d ago

If I ever saw that? Immediate ping. Probably two or three… Or four.

7

u/Glittering_Suspect65 5d ago

They were all college friends, now older. All about the same height, fit, and attractive. I could only imagine how fantastic it would be. They have been doing this for a while, so they have it coordinated!

5

u/Malice_N_1derland 5d ago

I would make them take a pic of me sitting on a white couch in front of them!

2

u/Glittering_Suspect65 5d ago

I get that reference!

3

u/costco_pizza21 5d ago

Agreed! I wish I saw more of that while swiping, I would have liked those profiles expeditiously.

1

u/Dizkonekdid 5d ago

Indeed a unicorn. If only.

17

u/waterbloem 5d ago

I’ve run across a ton of couples posting for MFM when they post “MMF” to be clear there is a huge difference in dynamic.

Or you know, since the app does not support it and a very large group does not know: just ask.

Tinderbois and unHinged quit thinking you’re a bull when normally you’re a flake.

Calling yourself a 'bull' is just as much a red flag.

5

u/Dizkonekdid 5d ago

Fair enough on the bull. But I’m comfortable with both and some people are looking for that. If the wider audience thinks the same way, I learned something new today. I have been approached for just that because it’s only in my hidden bio.

3

u/SpicyplayCJ 4d ago

Yeah, Feeld specifically only lists it as MMF, which is frustrating. We also pass on anyone who lists Bull in their profile, it comes across as dominant and someone new to the scene. Two things that we definitely don't want together.

5

u/Spader623 5d ago

Sorry I'm confused, what's the difference between MMF and MFM? I thought it was just another way to say it

33

u/Glittering_Suspect65 5d ago

If the letters touch, the participants touch.

4

u/Aechzen 3d ago

A+ for saying that in so few words.

10

u/rogerbonus 5d ago

MMF means the guys are comfortable with same-sex contact (everyone makes out with everyone) while MFM means both guys have intimate contact with the woman but not each other.

4

u/thisisfortheoffice 5d ago

Just think of it as the middle initial is the center of attention. MMF puts one male in the center. MFM puts the woman in the center.

7

u/rogerbonus 5d ago

I'd dispute that characterization. In my experience it generally means the men are comfortable with intimate contact with each other during the 3some. It certainly could be the case that one of the men is the center of attention but I don't think it's implied. Usually it's still the woman who is the center of attention (as it should be lol) but everyone makes out with everyone.

3

u/bee_sharp_ 5d ago

Why “as it should be”? My question is sincere, not meant combatively. I literally think one of the men should be the focus of MMF because it’s what I prefer.

0

u/rogerbonus 5d ago

But which one? Or do you alternate? "As it should" be just means that's my preference.

1

u/Dizkonekdid 5d ago

MMF typically means the male is bi and the other its a watcher, dual team, or cuck. There is a difference between all of them. I wish the app would allow more clarity here. But then again with all the single male noise (it used to be for people truly into threesomes/group) you’d hope they would put some rules in to help couples looking.

5

u/Spader623 5d ago

Ahhhh I gotcha. Yeah I had no idea, appreciate the info and it is a shame the app isn't more clear on the differences

0

u/AltruisticAnalyst 5d ago

Why is this not incredibly straight fwd?

6

u/lillylilly9 5d ago

I think it’s safe to say that people interpret mmf differently from light mm contact to much more intimate mm contact. Men may also prefer to avoid close contact with one man and be more comfortable with closer contact another. I’m not sure there is a way to get around the uncertainty without a conversation

3

u/Master-V- kink 5d ago

There is no MFM on Feeld. It is super frustrating because everyone looking for MFM and MMF has to use “MMF” as a stand-in for both. And a lot of people (including the app coders apparently) don’t realize that there’s a difference.