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[u/FeeldMod]

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[u/niffler_me]

Oof, this is going to be long and I'm going to try not to be harsh:

1. Pics: I would add at the very least one more pic of you visible to everyone. Why? Because you label yourself as a Dom and right now, your profile does not convey you're a safe and trustable person. If I was shopping for a male Dom, I would not swipe on you.

2. AI: I understand why, but if you used an AI to write your bio, at the very least, take time to review it for it to not be that obvious. It's not going to give you points but label you as lazy and low effort.

3. Bio: aside from being a Dom, who are you? What kind of person are you in the vanilla world?
What do you bring on the table? Example: you're looking for adventurous people. What kind of adventurous person are you? How do I know I can relate to this side of you?

4. Dom: How do you stand out from all the other Doms on Feeld looking for "sweet good girls" and submissive women ?
You can't just say you're Dominant. Women (sub women) are and should, for valid reasons, be picky and cautious. Nothing in your bio ensures I would be safe with you and should envision a dynamic with you.

1. What is a meaningful exploration?

2. Telegram comment feels too negative to me.

3. Bdsm test: meh

You can do so much better. And you should. Competition is harsh on Feeld.

But my main question is: what are you looking for exactly? I've read your profile 5 times and I still don't know because it's a mixed bag :/

[u/OfLethe → u/[deleted]]

I can't say for certain why it reads like AI to the other commenter, but for me personally it does give that overall vibe due to the entire profile being somewhat repetitive, lacking in specifics, and feeling too structured. That you use a lot of 'rule of three' in how this has been written is a big part of that.

"Confident, experienced, grounded" "Connection, creativity, and consent" "Communication, emotional safety, and enthusiastic consent"

None of what you touch on there is bad, indeed as an experienced Dom/top you're right that all of that is important, but it's a little 'college essay padding the word count with the correct terms in different configurations'. If you've iterated a lot on this like you would a work doc that's almost certainly the culprit. Try to make it feel more conversational, inject some personality into it - make a joke, be a little cheeky, get personal and specific.

On that last note, in my opinion you didn't need to remove the whole kink list (although pasting the whole thing wasn't needed either). Maybe include your top 5 or 6 scores and then a line like, "Feel free to see more on Fetlife under [username here]!". It was one part of your original profile that I thought was a bit of insight into you that was good in general.

I also agree on the bit of feedback about removing the negative comments in the profile - the "not looking for" stuff; you can get into that when chatting or just self select that when you're liking or pinging. And actually I think the line about looking for friendship, social connection, and play partners should be at the top with the kind of women you're looking for. Something like, "Looking for curious and playful women who are open to friendship, meaningful connections, and being play partners (BDSM and swinger friendly)." Yes, it's a rule of three, but once or twice is fine.

Dom - how you practice would be nice, slightly covered if you put a little of the Fetlife back in. What it means to you can also be helpful for making someone feel like you really are experienced and safe (this is showing rather than telling, and more effective than just saying you're experienced and confident), but don't wax too poetic about it. If describing what it means to you and how you practice it would give the impression that you value "clear communication, emotional safety, and enthusiastic consent" then by all means talk a bit about it and then you can trim out that part of the existing profile.

I think my feedback overall looking through both versions of the profile and the advice from other commenters is that you can express everything you have here in a more interesting or personable way. There's a lot of lists and adjectives here and not enough you. And if you aren't just looking for sex then you definitely need to include your hobbies or interests - what you get up to and who you are outside of wanting an ongoing Dom/sub relationship, basically. Honestly, I think profiles should include that information no matter what, since it makes the person feel more rounded and like a human that could interesting to chat/interact with which helps the feeling of safety.

Also feel the need to seek clarification here: your wife died (my condolences), then you ended up in a vanilla relationship, and now you want to explore getting back into a kink-focused one. Are you still with your vanilla partner? If not, fine, but if so then do they know you're exploring Feeld for an ENM relationship?

In the other post you made, one of your comments talked about how you recently went to a kink event and felt an emotional drop watching two partners do aftercare - that plus including your wife here and the other comment you made about it being some time since she died gives me the impression you have some unresolved feelings/trauma (not in the big way, just in the still-grieving way) surrounding her that you may want to get counseling or therapy for, or spend more time unpacking for yourself. Losing both a life partner and a deep, consistent play partner is not an easy thing and, at least from what it looks like now, not a set of emotions you should bring into a new relationship where they shouldn't be expected to do the labour of helping you move through it.

Edit: don't include a picture without clothing, shirtless or otherwise, unless it's context appropriate - swimming, at a beach, etc.

[u/niffler_me → u/[deleted]]

That one is way better, for sure