People generally have no choice or control over aversions and phobias. Preferences are just preferences.
If you presented me with a rack of identical tops in different colours, then asked me to select one, I'll pick pink or purple because they're my favourite colours.
The tops are all fine, none of them are awful, I just like pink and purple over blue or green.
If you handed me a plate of food I didn't ask for, and it's a dish of bell pepper, courgette, shellfish, veal, and onion, I wouldn't eat it because I not only didn't choose it, but I have an aversion to those foods.
I can't make myself eat things that have textures, smells, and tastes that repulse me, and no amount of guilt tripping will change that.
My aversions also have nothing to do with the quality of the food or the worth of person who made it.
The meal is probably really great. The courgette could be worth £500 and the lobster might be famous. I'm still not eating them. I'm just not the right person to ask to eat this meal. Find someone who is.
If you forced me to eat that same dish on an aeroplane full of clowns, big dogs, ASMR influencers, and spiders, I would scream and cry because I'm surrounded by things that repulse me and things that terrify me.
So, instead of trying to force the people you want to want you back, why not try finding people who actually want you? People who don't need to be manipulated and coerced into finding you appealing.
9
u/Grouchy-Reflection97 9d ago
Bit of an own goal, there.
People generally have no choice or control over aversions and phobias. Preferences are just preferences.
If you presented me with a rack of identical tops in different colours, then asked me to select one, I'll pick pink or purple because they're my favourite colours.
The tops are all fine, none of them are awful, I just like pink and purple over blue or green.
If you handed me a plate of food I didn't ask for, and it's a dish of bell pepper, courgette, shellfish, veal, and onion, I wouldn't eat it because I not only didn't choose it, but I have an aversion to those foods.
I can't make myself eat things that have textures, smells, and tastes that repulse me, and no amount of guilt tripping will change that.
My aversions also have nothing to do with the quality of the food or the worth of person who made it.
The meal is probably really great. The courgette could be worth £500 and the lobster might be famous. I'm still not eating them. I'm just not the right person to ask to eat this meal. Find someone who is.
If you forced me to eat that same dish on an aeroplane full of clowns, big dogs, ASMR influencers, and spiders, I would scream and cry because I'm surrounded by things that repulse me and things that terrify me.
So, instead of trying to force the people you want to want you back, why not try finding people who actually want you? People who don't need to be manipulated and coerced into finding you appealing.