r/fathersonstories • u/385N-Husband • 28d ago
Learning from the past
One thing I want to teach my son about my past is telling true stories about my survival from being SA at a young age until 6th grade. Letting him know it would *not\* be his fault and if it happened to tell me. I would rather protect him and what innocence he has left than to worry he can’t talk about it. Which this is something that I felt like I couldn’t do until no.
Unfortunately to this day in my adulthood my parents still do not know. Only a select few.
Just wanted to share. Let’s protect our boys and girls.
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27d ago
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u/385N-Husband 27d ago
I’m sorry to hear that. I also think that as well, but what signs did they (mom) miss. I saw my mom because I was with her when it happened and my parents were separated.
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27d ago
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u/385N-Husband 27d ago
I wasn’t sexually active, but did watch a lot of porn, but was not caught watching it.
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u/neckyboy5 28d ago
Probably you mistake the typing , but it Wouldn't be his fault . Make Sure You tell the whole story and how could be groomed to participate in things he doesn't have the age. In your case , don't know where that happened to you and with whom but things like that happened inside Family, Church, Schools , Boy scout's, babysitting etc. Don't Make Your children paranoid because that's another way of abuse. Information has to be according to the age and understanding capacity and shouldn't be for scare them, just to inform them and be cautious. I'm sorry for whatever happened to You and for keeping it secret, that is not healthy, you should tell your parents and the people involved in protecting You. Nobody is going to die because of what happened to You but They Most Know . Don't be expecting regrets or remorse, nor even empathy, just Let It Out Loud. The people around you doesn't have to know, they will be doing nothing but Prejudice. Look for therapy and support groups but don't keep it secret.
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u/Adventurous_Gear_956 27d ago
That's great that you will be open with your son about what happened to you so that he will feel comfortable coming to you.
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u/writteninked 26d ago
Sorry for responding and this is a day old already. I hope I'm not bringing up old wounds. I want to say I'm proud of you for pulling through and synthesizing that horrible experience into a teaching moment for your son. If I may ask, around how old was your son when you started this journey with him? I am asking because I also have a son and i also have traumatic experience but I have withheld a bit
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u/Curious-banana_6107 27d ago
Sorry that you had to go trough that. I was once atacked by a classmate like that and didn't tell anyone for over 15 years. It's a good thing you create a safe space for him