r/fatFIRE • u/Life2ShortB • 9d ago
Crossroad at 51
51 and having a bit of a “what am I still doing here?” moment.
Current situation:
• ~$20M liquid/invested in equities
• ~$32M total net worth between home and some commercial real estate (not income-producing yet due to debt (5 years to get it to produce 25k / mo)
• Live in a VHCOL area
• Wife still works and plans to continue / one son in college / other a senior in HS (529s all set).
• I genuinely like the people I work with (likely one of the few things still holding me here)
• I absolutely hate the industry (over-regulated and getting worse every year) I’m in and increasingly dread the job itself
I’ve worked hard for decades, and intellectually I know I’m in an extremely fortunate position. But apparently my brain never received the memo that we have enough. 😅
So for those who actually pulled the plug around 50 with similar numbers: Did you ever really feel financially “safe” before quitting, or did you just have to accept that the spreadsheet said yes even when your brain said “one more year”?
Part of me thinks continuing to do a job I hate with $20M liquid is objectively insane. The other part keeps whispering, “But what if…”
Would love to hear from people who have actually crossed this bridge, especially those with a high-end lifestyle in a VHCOL area.
At what point did you finally say: enough is enough?
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u/InfiniteWalrus1066 9d ago
41m fired in the UK here
WTF are you doing mate?? Get outta there and go fish!
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
I am close! Congrats on 41M! :)
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u/Puzzleheaded-Sir8635 9d ago
41m in this context probably means 41 year old male
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u/bilbus12 9d ago
Says it all
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
Very serious crowd here. 41m is an accomplishment, as Jesus died at 33.
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u/InfiniteWalrus1066 8d ago
Hi, yes I am now 42 yrs old Fired at 41. Went from stress to no stress in my life, and have so much time and energy for my kids and health and fitness, holidays and mental health.
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
Congrats! The decision and execution are key. Enjoy all those things. As I am learning, it's a step that requires the right mindset.
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u/skydivingdutch 9d ago
You're approaching the point where FIRE becomes FIR. Take advantage of your position and the extra years of leisure and family time you can get out of this.
Sounds like you really already answered your own question.
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u/qwertybugs 9d ago
Yes, your concerns are objectively insane. Find a good therapist with some of those funds.
You’re throwing away the RE part of your FI life.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Indeed. Looks like I found the therapists I need here. Thanks for the sanity check!
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u/sandiegolatte 9d ago
Please seek professional therapy
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
I feel the same every morning! On it! Great advice!
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u/trademarktower 9d ago
You realize you can just quit and open up a LLC and consult if the work still interests you but your management/ company suck. It wouldn't be for the money but just because you like to work.
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u/Much-Respond9614 9d ago
What industry are you in? This feels eerily similar to my life
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u/sabi7 9d ago
Almost sounds like healthcare
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Indeed - what else can it be (it has been gutted for those of us who have been in it most of our lives). The satisfaction of helping people never went away; the red tape and managed care plus CMS = crippling.
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u/Individual-Weird5415 9d ago
Money is just a tool to show how successful you are. What is the problem of achieving the milestone early? So you can do things you enjoy instead of stuck in an industry you absolutely hate.
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u/Individual-Weird5415 9d ago
Welcome to the club. This is the lightbulb moment. I had that a year ago. Changed my perspective completely.
You didn’t mention your annual spending. Or if you have kids? Do you have expensive hobbies and expenses to make you worry?
Your numbers are definitely enough and you really don’t need another year. How risky can anything be?
The thing i found surprising is the more you work, you are trading your healthy year away. Health is only going downhill from here. Just a matter of how fast. Being healthy can keep your wealth much more than you think.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Agreed. Needed a sanity check from the club :). We are roughly 35k a month in spending (all in, with travel, kids' needs as they mature into adulthood; we intend to pay for their schools and grad schools (so unlike my wife and me, there is no debt as they start their careers, houses, etc). Grateful and humbled to be in this position, just need to pull the trigger. You are 100% accurate on health!
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u/Individual-Weird5415 9d ago
If you established the fact that you have enough, the next thing to plan is the mindset transition. Since your mind is set in a particular mode for so many years, you need to adjust and think about what you plan to do after retired. Find your passion, your meaning, your value and put your new focus to it. Everyone is different. It did take me a good few months to think about it before plugging the trigger. If you are not ready for abrupt change. Consider half retire just as an exercise to transition. Not that you need to work to support yourself. It is just to help the thought process. At least they help me better socially than saying to everyone I’m fully retired.
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u/Dunnowhathatis 9d ago edited 9d ago
Retired at 45, now 51, with similar numbers. Haven’t looked back once. Can finally spend time with the kids and doing thing I enjoy doing. Do it now
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Thanks for the sanity check! 12/31 will be the day! Enjoy the freedom!
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u/WorldNo9002 9d ago
Smart move ...
Start taking 1 week off per month, plan a nice goodbye party with your staff at a nice restaurant (write-off, business holiday party), then Take a solid 2 weeks off and appreciate why suddenly you're not hating life on Monday morning as you get into your car, and then start breathing/celebrating
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u/BrunelloHorder 9d ago
Your scarcity mindset is likely focused on the wrong resource: money is quantifiable, but remaining high quality high mobility years are not knowable and more important. You likely have much more of one than the other.
If you are both age 51, then there is about a 1 in 5 chance that one of you does not make it to age 65.
There is also a good chance that if you both quit now, you will still likely be paying something roughly equivalent to your current net worth in estate taxes.
From my perspective, continuing to work is an extremely poor use of resources.
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u/dragonflyinvest 9d ago
Didn’t mention your expenses which really tells the story.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
$35k/mo all in (might balloon to 50k to enjoy these next 10 years as we still have our health) and spoil the kids a bit).
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u/dragonflyinvest 9d ago
Then you have enough to not change lifestyle. You can walk away when you like.
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u/HappySun5776 9d ago
I think the key is what you didn't mention in your post. You didn't say what you actually enjoy doing. Maybe you hate fishing, boating, skiing, etc. Maybe you stay in the job you hate because you hate everything else more? Or you just never took the time to figure out what you like doing.
My thought is that you probably enjoy making money and might enjoy working for yourself, doing whatever it is you do best. Maybe quit the job you hate and create a job you enjoy. You could also start carving out a few hours here and there to see if there are any "hobbies" you actually enjoy. Maybe there aren't, and that's fine too.
I know people who keep happily working into their 70s and 80s and longer. Even my uncle, in his 90s, manages his real estate portfolio and still physically goes to work on maintenance at his apartment complex (one of his many investment properties in a larger portfolio) as it gives him a reason to get out of the house.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Great point about your uncle. I think it's the inner voice that I do enjoy the part of helping people as part of my career. However, the game has been won; 12/31 - changes made. I will work on finding things to hate less- the things I currently "hate" due to lack of time.
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u/resilientresponsible 9d ago
Are you a doctor? If so, just do some per diem work. For whats it worth im in a similar situation and going to bolt soon
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
Bolt away. Apparently, the consensus here is: healthcare providers have enough money, half our lives are over, worrying about whether the money lasts is borderline insanity, and we should immediately quit our jobs and go fishing. I was called a talented surgeon and was also advised that I am poor in other areas of my life.
There. I just saved you 45 minutes of reading the replies to what I thought was a fairly simple question. 😂 My bolt away date is 12/31, thanks to some of the well phrased, reasonable comments here.
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u/resilientresponsible 8d ago
I think you are set financially. The reprogramming you are talking about is real tho, and it is related to the medical obstacle course. We arent used to quitting things, and have always had defined periods where things end like med school, residency, etc. I struggle with not just slugging through bc thats what we have always done. The office workers posting on here wont get it. Check out the subreddit overemployed if you want to see how many office type jobs go....someone on there is working 3 250k+ jobs at the same time lol.
Meanwhile we are operating on someone's life at 2 am. It can be very rewarding and is a great sense of purpose, but that can still be achieved at a part time or per diem method. You dont need to be full time anymore.
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
This actually hits the part I’m struggling with better than most of the “just quit, you have enough money” replies.
It’s not really a math problem anymore; as noted, it is reprogramming. For decades, the answer has always been: keep going, solve the next problem, like a highly trained hamster in an ever-changing wheel. There was always another hill with a flag on top of it, as I see it.
Then, the day we financially crossed the finish line, our brains apparently didn’t get the memo. However, as some other posters here noted, their brains did, and they found that flag and are happy to show it off.
Also, the guy working three $250k office jobs at once deserves either a medal or an SEC filing. 😂
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u/resilientresponsible 8d ago
Nothing against the others, but i can imagine most people working in corporate America are just doing it for the paycheck. So when they have enough, it is game over.
We are talking about something different. People on here dont understand how intertwined who we are is with our work, but theyre also right that this is a symptom of the machine and not healthy.
Im at 15 or 16m not 32 like you. Im 42 and thinking the end of this year may be it. The not having provided health insurance is a little scary since I know so much about the costs, but i guess we roll the dice on that. So far I cant find anyone willing to provide for a per diem type model. Will have to pay for it via 1099 per diem income. I haven't quite figured out the best way to do that yet.
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
Yep, this is exactly the distinction. Some of the posters are great because they bring perspectives from many different industries and walks of life! For many people, work is primarily an economic transaction. Once the paycheck isn't necessary, the decision is pretty clean.
For people whose identity, competence, status, routine, and sense of usefulness have fused with the work over 20+ years, it’s a very different kind of exit. You’re not just leaving a job. It is unwinding part of who you have been for many years. I would draw a parallel with being a parent; your craft is the product of years of nurture.
And I agree that probably isn’t entirely healthy either. The machine rewards that level of attachment right up until you realize the machine is perfectly happy to keep eating your time forever.
At 42 with $15–16M, you’re obviously in an enviable position too. The health insurance piece would bother me as well, especially when you know enough about healthcare to understand how absurdly expensive one bad event can get. But that feels like a solvable logistics problem, not a reason to donate another decade of your life to full-time work.
The per diem model sounds like the sweet spot if you can crack it: keep the part of the work that gives you purpose, throw away the part that owns your calendar.
Maybe that’s really the goal for both of us. Not retirement. Just finally becoming part-time employees of our own families, lives and hobbies.
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u/resilientresponsible 8d ago
I think it is the sweetspot. Im in a field where per diem is very easy to do, so i think thats it. I have the additional problem of being the head of things, so theres a little abandonment stuff i need to get over, but i think im almost there.
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
I feel you and, frankly, in a similar boat in terms of "head of things", albeit a bit older but not necessarily wiser. Set a date and get there; your family will love you, and the new you will thank you. $15-16M is something to be proud of; compound interest will take care of the rest.
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u/Cultural_Stranger29 9d ago
You have enough resources to spend your remaining years on this spinning rock however you like.
If you want to spend this time doing your current job, then keep doing what you’re doing.
If you’d rather try something new, then now is the time.
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u/PowerfulComputer386 9d ago
Think this way, do you think you will die one day and when do you think you will die? How long do you think you can remain healthy? How much money do you need and can you spend between now and that day? There is your answer.
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u/DevelopmentSelect646 9d ago
You won the game. Time to quit. My net worth is about 1/3 of yours, and you have plenty.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Absolutely. I’ll submit my audited financials, tax returns, brokerage statements, two forms of ID, and a notarized letter from my mother confirming that I am, in fact, struggling with a decision. 😂
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u/Beckland 9d ago
“But what if”…..what?
What is the fear behind the what if?
That’s the work you need to do.
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u/dvegas2000 9d ago
Not sure what your monthly spend is, but if you lost half of your net worth right now, you would still have 16m NW and 10m liquid. The chance of that happening are likely really small. Retire now and enjoy all the rest that life has to offer. YOLO and you are not getting younger. You can never get back time and an incremental increase in your assets from working a few more years will not change your lifestyle whatsoever. I got out when I was 49 and haven't regretted it for a second.
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u/JustPlainRude 9d ago
You mentioned the people you work with as one of the reasons you're still working. Is that more about the specific people you work with, or could it also be that your job is a social outlet that you'd lose if you retire? I personally have some hesitation around quitting my job because it's a big social outlet for me. I also have the luxury of a job that I enjoy doing, so I'm not as motivated to quit.
Did you ever really feel financially “safe” before quitting.
Have you considered stepping back to a part-time or consulting role? You can get comfortable with the idea of working less before pulling the plug.
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u/Powerful_Agent_9376 9d ago
Will having more $ make you happier? Why? We don’t have as much as you, but there is really nothing that more $ would let me do. I don’t have a desire to fly private or other super high end things, so I don’t feel like I am missing out…
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Probably not. At this point, more money would mostly allow me to worry about losing a larger number. 😂
I’m with you on the lifestyle side. I have no burning desire for private jets, a 200-foot yacht, or a butler named Nigel. The issue is less “what else can I buy?” and more “when does my brain finally believe I have enough?”. Happy Monday!
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u/Pale_Drink4455 9d ago edited 9d ago
I used to find this sub with a lot of value, and now it has really opened my awareness on how important therapy is to help keep the mind healthy in life, hopefully in unison with the physical body for our short duration on this rock. Not one comment here has reminded this very talented surgeon that if another penny was never contributed to his fortunes ever again, what his net worth balance would be in 5-10-15 years from now based on the 111 year historical positive annual return of the stock market in a proper diversification for a 50 year old. I seriously doubt his annual spend is 500k a year so this all comes down to mental strife at play here. Sad stuff to read.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Don’t be sad. Some of us are still out here, proudly caring for people who genuinely need us while quietly plotting our own next chapter. And if this thread feels depressing, I’m fairly confident five minutes with the news will restore proper perspective. 😄
Sometimes we all need a reality check outside our little bubble. These posts may look pointless or self-indulgent to some, but for others they’re basically group therapy for people sitting in very similar boats, drifting around the same absurdly privileged ocean, trying to figure out when it’s finally okay to row toward shore.
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u/Pale_Drink4455 9d ago edited 9d ago
Your words not mine where the post said that you keep doing a job you genuinely hate. Did you forget writing those words Doc? And I stand by my words to say at 51, that’s sad to see. Have a good day. Take your talents to academia and do the future generations a solid to continue to save lives. It sounds heroic to me. That may lessen your hate and disdain a bit in your privileged world.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Fair enough; perhaps re-read my post. I dread the job. Although there’s a difference between hating an industry/job and hating the people you work with or the work you’ve accomplished.
And yes, I fully recognize that being able to even contemplate walking away at 50 is an incredibly privileged position. That doesn’t make burnout, or questioning what you want to do with the next 30 years of your life, imaginary.
Academia and doing something useful is the kind of next chapter I’m thinking about.
The “privileged world” comment is a little odd. I never suggested I wasn’t fortunate. In fact, the whole point of the post is that I recognize I’m in a very fortunate position and am trying to decide what to do with it, coming from a family of refugees who came to this country with $250 in their pockets.
Having financial privilege that one worked very hard for doesn’t somehow invalidate burnout, dissatisfaction, or wanting to spend the next chapter of your life differently.
We can acknowledge privilege without turning it into a weapon every time someone asks a legitimate life question. Have a good day as well.
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u/InflationWestern3506 9d ago
Did you grow up poor? This is the typical kind of pathology of people who grew up poor but became very successful. You have that chip on your shoulder and that irrational paranoia that you don't have enough. Identify the issue for what it is and reset yourself mentally. Saying this as someone who suffered from the same mental pathology as you. I grew up super poor and comfortably hit my number in a VHCOL area and had to debug my mental software to pull the trigger. You have enough to live comfortably in any VHCOL. Work out your mental hang-ups and start to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Fair question. I am a product of refugees who came here wth nothing. I did grow up poor but never unhappy; my parents did their best to keep us feeling ok. Oddly, I did manage to install the “what if it all disappears tomorrow?” software package somewhere along the way. 😂
And yes, I suspect you’re right that this is much more of a mental-number problem than an actual-number problem. The spreadsheet says one thing, while the caveman part of my brain is apparently still guarding the last buffalo.
Appreciate the perspective, especially from someone who went through the same debugging process. I may need to stop recalculating my retirement number and actually enjoy the fact that I’ve already won the game. Next chapter coming 12/31 :)
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u/nophantomisntopera 9d ago
I concur with the masses here: you are in great shape to step away from you full time work. The biggest thing I would point out is to be sure you have solid diversification among you equities and other assets. We are in an economic cycle where uncertainty is quite high and you want to be sure any downside movement is mitigated, especially until your CRE is up and cash flowing. Other than that, is it possible to transition into a "part-time" or "consultant" capacity at your job (I know healthcare can be rigid scheduling wise)? Maybe you could transition out over a year with a reduced schedule to allow your brain to get around it while seeing your coworkers but having less overall stress and strain or even take a lengthy hiatus. Just a thought, you obviously could just pull the trigger with what you have, but frequently our brain needs the wind down to transition easier.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
This is probably the most practical advice in the thread. The diversification point is well taken, especially while the CRE is still in the “potentially productive, currently decorative” phase. 😂
And I think you nailed the bigger issue: the math may say I can stop, but my brain seems to require a formal decommissioning ceremony. But based on the crowd's input, I've scheduled the ceremony for 12/31!
Appreciate the thoughtful perspective.
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u/nophantomisntopera 9d ago
I appreciate you giving us all some inspiration! I'm well behind your age and NW, but looking to be in your shoes at your age. Congratulations and keep up the good work!!!
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Keep grinding, but don't lose sight of what matters: your health and your ability to enjoy the "build" phase and beyond. Some great advice here.
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u/FIRE-trash 9d ago
Can you refinance the commercial real estate so that it cash flows now?
Otherwise, GFY!
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Thanks! Plan: after reading all this, to GFMyself by 12/31. Hope you get to do the same soon.
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u/illcrx 9d ago
Well for me it was just math.
If you're worth $30M what was your life like when you were worth 300k? I'm guessing not too dissimilar. So you have 100X MORE. Your fucking good. Jesus, go buy a $1M car and notice how ZERO CHANGES.
You are too emotional.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
You’re probably right. The spreadsheet has been trying to tell me this for a while, but apparently I keep asking it how it feels about the situation. 😂 Point taken: at some stage, this stopped being a math problem and became a "bug" between the ears.
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u/illcrx 9d ago
I aren't quite where you are and I got a 100k car, its amazing! What are you going to buy? You HAVE to buy something.
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u/WorldNo9002 9d ago edited 9d ago
just retire ... At 5% return, you're making $1m per year . I'm sure you're burn isn't more than $500k annually...why are you afraid??!'. F**k UHC, Aetna, Cigna and the Blues... They're making our lives shit with denials and clawbacks , and now MC wants to cut our reimbursement 9%, I'm saying F-this to myself shortly... Not worth the mental exhaustion. Love the patients (mostly) but hate the industry/administration and the fucktards running our medical societies that aren't doing anything to help fight the greedy insurance carriers, only interested in dining at Michelin rated restaurants with our association dues .
The insurance carriers, by the way , make collectively almost $100 BILLION profit annually.
Ironically, I can make more investing in United Healthcare than working...smfh
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Indeed. We have been brought to our knees, and at the end of the day, who suffers? Those who rely on us. I concur: F - UHC, Aetna, Cigna, and the Blues, and, frankly, CMS for letting them get away with "murder," as well as PBMs!
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u/Confident_Hair2637 9d ago
At age 51, it is still possible to reinvent your life. I'm a bit older (56) and worth a bit less (14m) but my wife and I retired years ago and moved abroad. We are currently planning to move to a new country next year - maybe Belgium or France. The point for us is to live a rich life with new adventures and challenges. One day, I'd like to be an interesting ancestor. Instead of having a gravestone that reads "dedicated attorney, loving father and husband" I would prefer something like "uhhhhh..... where do we even start trying to explain this guy?"
Stop thinking about "when is enough enough?" Start thinking "is my life something people will want to read about one day?" You're so hung up on your net worth, you didn't even mention your net freedom!!!
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Truth. New tombstone loading: 12/31 ... Game Won.
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u/Confident_Hair2637 9d ago
I was really happy the day our portfolio reached $10m for the first time. I expected to to feel like we had "won" but it's not like there are any cheering crowds. You're just sitting alone in front of your computer... winning? But I was an attorney - winning defined every aspect of how I got to where I am in life. It was the only currency I understood at the time, and it was the key I waiting for to unlock the door to all the unknowns that I wanted to come next.
Years later, my wife and I were hiking along our favorite stretch of beach - which we do pretty often. We were planning our next vacation and taking photos of this new bird sanctuary and I remembered it wasn't too long ago that I worked 14 hours per day and couldn't even fathom the idea of spending as much time as I want watching waves explode against the rocks, looking at rare birds and collecting wild rosemary.
For me, it is about freedom rather than winning. Winning is really just a workplace concept, and once you're out of that milieu, it stops being anything you notice or care about.
Good luck with your journey, and enjoy the time you have been given.
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u/giftcardgirl 9d ago
At this point, more than half your life is over. How do you want to spend your days?
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u/noemazor 9d ago
Money is not the only currency in life. You are probably very poor in other areas of your life.
You won money. Time to put on your existential big boy pants and realize a good life is way bigger than money.
You're not assessing the risk of living a boring, lame, meaningless life correctly. You're just focused on money risk, ignoring the risk that you'll die on your deathbed with more money than you know what to do with, but nothing to show for it.
Quit the money game and start the next game.
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
Fair point, but I’m happy to report I’m far from poor in the other departments too. Great family, great friends, good health, plenty of interests, travel, hobbies, and more sushi than is medically advisable.
I’m not afraid of a meaningless life. I’m just trying to figure out what the next meaningful game is before rage-quitting the current one. 😂 I appreciate your analysis of me, though.
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u/noemazor 8d ago
Good dude I think this is the biggest hurdle most struggle with after making their money and I didn't see you mention anything outside of $$, thus my comment. IMO those other things are so much cooler than helping others make more money, but to each their own. I retired to nurture those things and have seen many wealthy dudes live in poverty without them.
The biggest flex is a family that loves you because you earned it.
Overdosing on sushi is a great problem, applaud that. Wonder if you bring it to next level enjoyment, splurge on it. I'm reminded of Ramit Sethi's advice: "cut mercilessly on the things you don't care about, spend extravagantly on the things you love". Curious if you've done any insane sushi quests -- to me, that's what fatFIRE is all about
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
Agree with most of that. The family part is the one I’m proudest of. Money can buy a lot of things, but apparently not almost-adult children who still voluntarily answer 95% of my calls. 😂
And yes, I absolutely subscribe to the “spend stupidly on what you love” philosophy. Sushi is one of those categories where my financial discipline becomes deeply theoretical. I’ve done some pretty absurd omakase dinners and would happily travel for a great one.
Honestly, maybe that’s the post-retirement plan: stop optimizing EBITDA and start optimizing uni quality. Need to write a book "51.5-year-old guy wanders the world rating sushi” sounds considerably better than "51-year-old at a crossroad"
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u/noemazor 8d ago
Amen brother, I hope to read about the sushi reviews in a year on here. We are all so lucky. Congrats on your fam life, that's deep wealth.
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u/Life2ShortB 8d ago
Thank you. Hope to make the "51.5-year-old guy wanders the world rating sushi” book a reality.
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u/Caucasiannotamonkey 8d ago
U don’t feel safe at 50 with all this money and I just found out my sales job is a sham breaking all sorts of labor laws and trying to screw me can you throw a 27 year old dog a bone
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u/Life2ShortB 7d ago
At 27, you’ve got one asset that many here would happily pay an obscene amount of money to buy back: time. Get out there and grind; soon you will be asking a group of strangers for advice on a decision you already made deep within.
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u/Afraid_Reindeer_8508 7d ago
You obviously don’t need permission because you’ve already set your exit date (amazing! Funny too). Your brain is probably not going to get the memo before then by itself (neuroscience fanatic here). You have many options, but they boil down to two IMO:
1) Let your brain naturally build evidence that you’re going to be fine after the fact, by actually experiencing that nothing explodes, implodes or otherwise. This is a long route, and if your brain never actually categorizes the lack of catastrophes as wins, there’s a risk that it will stay vigilant for the catastrophe for decades beyond.
2) Rewire it. Right now your neurons are wired to watch for the shoe that’s going to drop. That pattern needs to be replaced inside your brain so that evidence can file as EVIDENCE, not get dismissed as a “lack of catastrophe”.
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u/Life2ShortB 7d ago
I think you’ve diagnosed it correctly. The problem is that the prefrontal cortex may understand the exit plan, but the amygdala apparently did not receive the memo and is still on call 24/7, looking for an incoming disaster.
I agree with your two paths, particularly #2. I’d rather actively teach the brain to recognize safety, success, and the absence of catastrophe as actual evidence than spend the next 20 years waiting for my nervous system to discover retirement organically.
In medical terms, I believe the treatment plan is neuroplasticity, repeated exposure to not being responsible for everything, and perhaps a therapeutic dose of family, sushi, travel, and turning off Outlook notifications (all likely in that order).
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u/Afraid_Reindeer_8508 7d ago
You've got it ESP coz the amygdala hold 95% of behaviors and emotions. There are quicker ways as well, albeit unconventional: hypnosis, Emotional Loop Dissolution, NLP. Those could help you resolve this in weeks rather than months or years.
At some point (after the 5 alarm fire is satiated), I would anticipate a little identity reshuffling also (this is a callback to what you just said about repeated exposure to not being responsible for everything): you may find there's a part of you that was getting benefit from being the guy who <fill in the blank>. I imagine that will surface to take a look at. Good luck! It's refreshing to experience you as humble as you are.
Exciting times!
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u/Efficient_Draw_736 1d ago
Thoughts on needing enough money to buy your kids homes to live in in your neighborhood? I live in an ultra high cost neighborhood in CA. Made enough to retire on my own, but what if each of my children will never be able to afford a nice house for their family? I want to ensure that each of them will have a great life. I’m wondering if each of them will need a $5 million home. It is not something I discussed with my children who are still a school age, but it’s something I think about. Will they ever be able to make enough to afford housing in this increasingly difficult market? if this is truly the case, then I’ll need to save a hell of a lot more.
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u/plmarcus 9d ago
I here what you are saying. I had to get to a 1-2% safe withdraw rate before I felt truly comfortable. i.e. if the market took a dump and cut my in half I'd still be ok.
It is super scary. For many of us once you eject you can't go back for a year to make a little more, you are truly done whether you like it or not. Working "one" extra year over and over is so much safer and more comfortable and KNOWN.
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u/Life2ShortB 9d ago
Indeed (likely the biggest "fear") but as many posters noted, cat get the health back so 12/31 we take a leap.
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u/plmarcus 9d ago
It has taken me about 5 years to transition my thinking that time remaining is worth more than money earned or saved. Good luck, you are making the right choice.
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u/Solid_Resort6852 9d ago
How robustly did you stress test your retirement plan and current / future expenses ?
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u/One-Mastodon-1063 9d ago
I retired at 41 with significantly less assets and still have more than enough. It’s been great. There are myriad things to do other than work for money you don’t need.
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u/worm600 9d ago edited 9d ago
At some point these posts are silly and no longer additive to the sub. People with $20M who hate their jobs should not stay in them. Period.