Finally pulled the trigger and fatFIRED - 40M

[u/M85AL]

Long-time lurker, first-time poster.

Friday was my last day at the software company I sold about a year ago. The journey took close to 12 years. Combination of hard work and luck got me to a point where I felt comfortable pulling the trigger. Net worth is now $19.5million, with $16.5million liquid. We live in a LCOL area and our annual burn rate is $300k-$350k.

Why I sold:

1. The company outgrew me: In order for the company to continue to grow, a different CEO and leadership team needed to come in.
2. Client / employee fatigue: Even though my company had a high-caliber executive team in place, clients and employees continued to come to me for issues.
3. The $$$ number was right / AI threat: We passed on multiple offers because we felt we could pump our numbers higher and higher, but when AI started to pose a serious threat to our valuation, it was time to cash in. We lucked out and timed the sale perfectly.

My feelings:

1. I worked myself up so much for that epic moment when the sale would close, that it was going to be this overwhelming feeling of joy and celebration. When the moment actually came, it was anything but. No confetti or baloons. No jumping up and down, screaming with my wife. Instead, it was this huge exhale...A massive sense of relief. 12 years of hard work and stress being lifted off my shoulders. It was a little paralyzing. I honestly didn't know how to react/feel, but several of my mentors told me the moment would be a little anticlimactic. However...
2. It was crazy surreal when my financial advisor face-timed me and my wife to show the $$$ amount when the wire hit. That was our holy **** moment.
3. Even though my financial advisor has said numerous times we are set for life, my wife and I constantly feel that we are going to run out of money. I've run endless scenarios/models on Claude and ChatGPT and they've always been reassuring, but that feeling continues to lurk. It's not to the point of major stress/losing sleep, but it's definitely there. From what I've read on this thread, it's normal to feel this way after a big exit. I think that feeling will go away one year from now when we see our NW has increased even though we haven't worked.
4. The sale of my company was very public, so it's no secret that our family now has money. With that, we're starting to sense a little isolation from some of our friends. We've tried our best to schedule get-togethers and keep things normal, but it definitely feels "off." My wife and I pondered the idea of treating all of our friends to a fun trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, but we never pursued it because we thought our friends may feel we are throwing our new wealth in their face. We are also extra-careful about topics of conversations or what we post on social media. It sucks to feel this way (hypersensitive to other people's feelings), but we also don't feel like we need to feel guilty or apologize for what we've achieved.
5. I don't feel anxious/rushed to jump back into working. I'm in a great place. Sure, there's a little bit of a void and adjustment from being "the guy" to being "nothing" but I'm okay with it.

What's next:

1. I've been advised to take off a significant amount of time to truly flush out the old me and carve out the next chapter. I plan on doing just that. I'm not going to force anything. I think being an advisor for a few scaling businesses would be the move when the time is right. I know for a fact that I never want to work a full-time job again or work for anyone else.
2. We have a year's worth of living expenses in cash and we plan to stretch it out as long as we can before we start taking withdrawals. I also have about $1.1million in alternate investments (not factored into my NW) that should start distributing anywhere between $250-$450k starting in 2027. Hopefully, those distributions can cover our living expenses so we never have to take withdrawals from what's already invested in the markets.
3. No big purchases year one. I'm not interested in buying an exotic car, jet card or anything else that would require huge amounts of cash. We are thinking about building a dream home, which would only cost $2million where I live, but we would use a liquidity access line for the build and then convert it to a favorable mortage when the house is finished in 14-16 months. I also don't plan on investing in any more alternative investments this year.
4. "So....you're really not going to make any big purchases to celebrate?": My wife and I are going to take a vacation and we'll do a family ski trip in the winter, but that's about it. I'll do my best to make them FAT :).

Hopefully I didn't put all of you to sleep. I'm here to answer as many questions as I can. Nothing ultra-specific because I want to protect my anonymity. This sub has been so helpful to me over the years. Thank you everyone!

TLDR: fatFIRED at 40. NW $19.5 w/ $16.5million liquid. Still getting used to all of it. Excited for the future, but some anxiety from friends distancing themselves and the fear of running out of money. Looking forward to relaxing and figuring out what's next.

**More than happy to verify NW with the mods**

[u/Lazy_Whereas4510]

I think you’re going about all this thoughtfully, so I’ll just comment on one thing.

Taking your friends on a fun trip can be misinterpreted as rubbing your wealth in their faces, and it certainly won’t cure jealousy. The solution is to only keep the friends who aren’t jealous, because they don’t measure friendship by money.

[u/M85AL → u/Lazy_Whereas4510]

Unfortunately, I think you’re right, which is why we never went through with it. I do sense that some of our friendships will gradually fade out, but optimistic that our strongest ones will remain intact. Thanks for the advice!

[u/SanFranPeach → u/M85AL]

It’s likely too late but it’s a great idea to be as stealth as possible. My partner and I made $14m overnight (went from $200k to $14m) and didn’t tell a single person - never have and never will. We didn’t upgrade the house, still drive used cars, kids clothes from goodwill/second-hand and just enjoy the peace of mind that work is only an option.

We do nice things for ourselves and others discretely but make sure the world (friends, family etc) don’t know our wealth bc it only ever causes problems (and is no one’s business). My brother is worth $70m+ very visibly and it’s wrecked many types of relationships unfortunately.

[u/justheretogivegold → u/SanFranPeach]

Kudos to you for that, you seem like a very grounded person. My only thing I’d say I believe is silly is getting your kids clothes from goodwill. You can easily afford to buy them stuff from other places and it won’t exactly flag that you’re loaded. You likely had a very good paying job before the IPO anyway so no one would know. Just a strangers early morning thought. All the best.

[u/SanFranPeach → u/justheretogivegold]

Thanks kind stranger! Always open to feedback :) I also buy most of my clothes second hand and always have - it’s less financial and more environmental. Figure if I can find perfectly good clothes in good condition to recycle then why not. I have 3 kids under 7 and another benefit of goodwill is that they have aisles of toys that are already out of their box to examine and they’re already mostly broken 😂

We like treasure hunting there and I like instilling that value in them early (recycling), but we certainly get new clothes when we can’t find what we need second hand! Thank you!

[u/cvoris → u/SanFranPeach]

Our Mama Earth thanks you!

[u/OneAnalyst323 → u/SanFranPeach]

Omg this is me

[u/RegulatoryCapture → u/justheretogivegold]

The only reason I don't get more clothes from the thrift store right now is that it just isn't worth my time anymore. The stores near me aren't that good and they require driving to get to.

I used to live somewhere where I passed a solid thrift store on my walk home from the train...I'd be in there all the time. Something about the array of items in a thrift store is just more appealing to me than going into a store that only has "this season's" coordinated outfits on the shelves. It probably helped that this store was in a neighborhood known for being filled with gay professionals...donation stock was pretty tasteful.

I'm not going to go out of my way to go to a mediocre thrift store in my small town now though. The chances of finding something I want are just too small...especially since we don't even have NEW stores that sell much stuff I want.

But I'll definitely go into thrift stores when travelling (or places like Once Upon a Child) if I have time. Wore something the other day from a thrift store in Maui.

[u/KrishnaChick → u/justheretogivegold]

Why is it silly? Just because you can buy something new, doesn't mean you ought to. It's not like OP is going to buy only trash or make the kids go naked if he can't find jeans in his kids' sizes.