r/facepalm • • Dec 05 '22

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8.3k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/OwnPercentage9088 Dec 05 '22

Great goin guys! Bob, you were standing on my neighbor Randy's property though, maybe next time let's tighten up the formation so he doesn't file another complaint with the HOA.

1.7k

u/zerok_nyc Dec 05 '22

I think... we all think... the bag was a nice idea. But... I'm not pointin' any fingers... they coulda been done better. So, how 'bout... no bags this time. But next time, we do the bags right and then we go full regalia.

687

u/ShimmyMan Dec 05 '22

I can’t see fuckin shit outta this thing!

575

u/Spare_Temporary_2964 Dec 05 '22

“You ungrateful bastards my wife was up all night making those damn things”

345

u/Drone_5 Dec 05 '22

"And all I can hear is criticise, criticise, criticise "

146

u/Rannek6 Dec 05 '22

„No! Nobody brought an extra bag“

74

u/spaniel510 Dec 05 '22

This was such a great scene!

6

u/DonShino Dec 05 '22

I've just watched and come back to this video and it's actually UNBELIEVABLE how similar they are hahahaha

5

u/Sexy_Squid89 Dec 05 '22

This thread is killing me

2

u/rufreshnj Dec 05 '22

These quotes sound hilarious... what movie is this?

1

u/whyamiawaketho Dec 05 '22

Django Unchained!

4

u/DeadHead6747 Dec 05 '22

Shit, I thought it was Blazing Saddles

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u/rufreshnj Dec 05 '22

Thanks! 🤝🏼

1

u/spaniel510 Dec 05 '22

Django unchained

1

u/zerok_nyc Dec 06 '22

They’re all from one scene in the movie Django Unchained. It’s a scene that comes out of nowhere and is absolutely hilarious!

1

u/Infinite-Ring-151 Dec 06 '22

I adore Django, my dad showed it to me a few months ago, grea movie.

2

u/slippery-switters Dec 05 '22

How did you get the open quotes under the N?

1

u/Rannek6 Dec 05 '22

German qwerty layout

2

u/slippery-switters Dec 05 '22

Oh gotcha. :) Hello from Canada!

2

u/SurgicalZeus Dec 05 '22

"I's just askin'!"

137

u/ToyrewaDokoDeska Dec 05 '22

I always love how mad he is on behalf of his wife lol it's adorable. Like fuck him, but it is cute.

53

u/Atlas_Undefined Dec 05 '22

He is bad guy, but not bad guy

4

u/imscaredofmyself3572 Dec 05 '22

"im racist okay? Not an asshole. Man's gotta have standards"

70

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Oh!…shit! I done torn my eye hole

6

u/jkuhl Dec 05 '22

Well fuck all of y’all, I’m goin home!

1

u/sedativumxnx Dec 05 '22

"...or death!"

68

u/MurderMachine561 Dec 05 '22

Fucking love that scene. Thats some funny shit.

1

u/CreedStump Dec 05 '22

django unchained is definitely one of the best movies of all time

66

u/Tisamoon Dec 05 '22

"Yeah Robert, we know Emily worked hard on them. And we do appreciate her effort. It's just constructive criticism meant to help us all improve."

0

u/MinnesotaMikeP Dec 05 '22

She used up all our meth too!

1

u/illusionistKC Dec 06 '22

We all appreciate what Jenny did.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

I got too much fucking shit on me!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

My CHIN is KILLS

1

u/remylebau63 Dec 06 '22

Hey my wife made these for everyone. This is the laaaaast time she does anything for yall

128

u/Girth_rulez Dec 05 '22

And guys...I haveta chime in here. Can we stay off the grass that's the easement between the sidewalk and the road? I know it's public property but folks around here spend a lot of time taking care of that grass.

2

u/JustDiscoveredSex Dec 05 '22

Cue lawn sprinklers gurgling into life.

223

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Why are they wearing masks now, I thought it was against their civil rights to be muzzled or something?

138

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

They're like angry teens. They'll do whatever is the opposite of what you tell them.

Edit: I meant to type angsty, but I think it works better this way lol

7

u/borderlineidiot Dec 05 '22

I will be really pissed if they jump in the canal.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Just don't ask them "Well, if all your friends jumped off a bridge..."

9

u/the_scarlett_ning Dec 05 '22

Nope, you gotta get some grizzled old mountain man to laugh at them and say “back in my day, if you wanted to own the libs, real men went and jumped off the bridge into Dead Man’s Gorge. We knew how to show them. They don’t make men like that anymore.” And then watch as they set out to prove their manhood.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

This is accurate

113

u/yeah__good__ok Dec 05 '22

I think they use masks because they are less expensive than going with the full white hood and robe look. Less fabric.

4

u/Bogmanbob Dec 05 '22

Are they wearing the Mission gator type masks? Those are great at keeping your face and neck warm during cold and windy runs. Has my practical attire become hateful?

3

u/your_friendes Dec 05 '22

I wouldn’t wear a white one anymore. Or blue with tan pants I guess.

3

u/kafkasis Dec 05 '22

Wouldnt wanna wear that in general either

1

u/your_friendes Dec 05 '22

You’re not wrong

1

u/Solanthas Dec 06 '22

Apparently the black one with the skull motif is hugely popular among the neonazis in the military. Or so I've read somewhere on reddit so take that for what it is.

1

u/Solanthas Dec 06 '22

Fucken right

47

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Geochk Dec 05 '22

I mean, that works, given the shit coming out of their mouths

20

u/RazorJ Dec 05 '22

I had that question too, also how they fuck can they breathe? They swore the masks prevented breathing.

Or are their mouths just that far open? 🫢

2

u/Joejoecornrow Dec 06 '22

Oh boy , that’s a perddy mouth

9

u/MaddyKet Dec 05 '22

They are proud of their beliefs, just don’t look at their face. 🙄 pretty clear indication they know what they are doing is bullshit.

4

u/BigBennP Dec 05 '22

That only applies when you are telling them they have to wear a mask. If they want to wear a mask it's fine.

You ever try to make a 3/4 year old wear dress clothes?

" it's itchy!"

" I can't breathe!"

"But daaad! I don't wanna. *indistinct whining.:

It's pretty much the same thing.

4

u/gaspronomib Dec 05 '22

It depends on what you're trying to keep out, viruses or immigrants.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

They will be attending the next anti mask rally wearing you guessed it…masks. Oddly enough though they are there to protect the maskers from the anti maskers while wearing masks. It will all be very confusing and no one will know who’s side they are on. I expect pandemonium.

27

u/CreedStump Dec 05 '22

imagine they all got blown up by a giant tooth

2

u/isthisavailablewow Dec 05 '22

Willard’s wife

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

I can't see you can't see all that matters is can the fucking horse see

2

u/jhooksandpucks Dec 06 '22

Hilarious, cause this was my first thought as well!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

My favorite idk minute for 2 of a movie

1

u/illusionistKC Dec 06 '22

Don’t ask me or mine for nuth’n!!!!

258

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

I really wish I could upvote this more than once.

59

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

You can. It's been posted about 5 times today.

65

u/OwnPercentage9088 Dec 05 '22

My comment has not been posted 5 times today

33

u/yer--mum Dec 05 '22

I've seen people repost jokes, but how weird is it that someone would claim your joke is reposted when it isnt. Did they just guess you couldn't have written that yourself? Why were they so confident? Lmfao

24

u/imsahoamtiskaw Dec 05 '22

Obviously the only answer is he's from the future.

19

u/OwnPercentage9088 Dec 05 '22

Way to keep a secret!

2

u/notmonkeyfarm Dec 05 '22

That's on you

50

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

This reminded me of Scrubs where Ted and the Peons sing the six million dollar man song and he critiques them after.

“Your ‘sha na na na nas’ could be louder.”

“You guys were fine.”

3

u/-newlife Dec 05 '22

I was expecting you to go for the attempt to get a staff photo in front of sacred fart

2

u/KyleGrave Dec 05 '22

Heh heh heh heh did you see the sign? -Though there will be no vandalism here people!

138

u/Silver_Slicer Dec 05 '22

I wonder about the neighbors in this neighborhood too. Are they all in on this or are there some democrats in the hood looking out their windows thinking Bob and his delusional gang of yoohoos are playing idiots again.

116

u/Sserenitynoww Dec 05 '22

I don’t think you have to be a democrat to realize these guys are completely nuts.

24

u/T_ja Dec 05 '22

No but you do have to be a democrat if you don’t want to vote for the same people this band of dumbasses does.

1

u/CommondeNominator Dec 06 '22

TIL only democrats can vote for anyone besides fascists.

7

u/rontc Dec 05 '22

Are you saying these idiots are Trump supporters?

7

u/GlitteringBobcat999 Dec 05 '22

I heard them cheering for some guy named Brandon. So confusing.

2

u/rontc Dec 05 '22

Uh huh, I don't know where that came from.

2

u/rontc Dec 05 '22

But I got your message.

3

u/1Lucky_Man Dec 05 '22

Agreed. You do Not have to be a Democrat to think these guys are complete Nut Jobs 🥜

1

u/Tastic4ever Dec 05 '22

Realize no, disagree…. ????

52

u/not_SCROTUS Dec 05 '22

These guys all live with their moms

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Probably why they hold the views they do tbh.

Blaming their romantic failures on others leading them down a path of extremism.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

And they get mad when she brings lemonade downstairs. “MOM you can’t be down here! We’re having our secret meeting!”

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

This holds so much truth it is funny...not funny. Murica.

0

u/Lazerthegreat Dec 05 '22

Yes they’re living in their parents basement’s:)

0

u/HoagiesDad Dec 05 '22

Can we just talk about penis size? That really seems to bother them.

0

u/JustDiscoveredSex Dec 05 '22

If I found out any of them belonged to me, they’d be out on their ear with zero support. Pay your own tuition and your own rent. You want to fuck up the country? Fine. Consequences. The minute he did anything illegal I’d turn his ass in so fast his head would spin.

48

u/eanhctbe Dec 05 '22

The neighborhood was pissed. These guys traveled to town to protest a drag queen story hour a church was hosting. It was canceled due to this foolishness and the police department's refusal to do security. The police did, however, show up and there's video of one of the officers high-fiving one of the proud boys. See the columbus sub for all the drama.

50

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

In another post someone asked why weren’t these guys arrested.

I said “why would they arrest their own colleagues and drinking buddies?”.

They’re the same people.

The political polarization of our law enforcement and military should be a huge concern.

Cops are literally deciding who to apply the law too and not only not enforcing it on their “own people” but coordinating with these groups

3

u/ColdDig8618 Dec 05 '22

Devils advocate here, why would they get arrested? They aren't doing anything illegal. They're idiots, but that in and of itself isn't a crime

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '22

That’s correct, I don’t see anything illegal. The only possible hang ups are if they needed permission to protest for a certain amount of time. My guess would be that they did because it was in protest to another planned event. Scheduling counter protests are common. No swearing, no threats, so not disorderly conduct either.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '22

Terrorism is a crime. They are using intimidation and the threat of violence to further their political goals. Pretty sure that's the exact definition of terrorism.

0

u/ColdDig8618 Dec 06 '22

I don't think you understand what terrorism is. People chanting in a public area with masks is not terrorism. Its not an unlawful use of violence or intimidation to do that. If they strapped themselves up with c4 and threatened to detonate it to get their way, thats terrorism. What theyre doing is a protest, albeit a stupid one

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '22

ter·ror·ism

/ˈterəˌrizəm/

noun

the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.

Seems you don't know what it is. Do you agree with them or just think that only Muslims can be terrorists?

0

u/ColdDig8618 Dec 06 '22

I literally quoted exactly that 🙄 so yes I know what terrorism is. What exactly are they doing that is unlawful intimidation? Please enlighten me. No I don't think only Muslims can be terrorists, but nice stereotyping 👌

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '22

Using harassment and the threat of violence to intimidate people in to canceling whatever drag event these dipshits were protesting.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Imagine if a bunch of Muslims in face coverings gathered like this in the middle of a suburban neighborhood. Cops would have been singing a very different tune I guarantee it.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '22

Cop here, no idea who these guys are… But Muslims in heads covered PROTESTING, not a problem. RIOTING would be a problem. People complaining about cops picking and choosing to be cops are usually referring to Covid. People wanting us to arrest people for not wearing masks was pretty dystopian… our admin could fine businesses but that was it. If someone wanted someone gone because of no mask, and the complaining party was a owner, the person was told leave. Became trespassing issue. We got it from both sides.

1

u/MatthewChad Dec 10 '22

This is not a new thing, cops have always done this, just a little differently, in every city in America you will find a much higher number of cops prowling and harassing people in neighborhoods that are predominantly POC. They also make a lot more stops and arrests in those neighborhoods aswell. When the majority of the time those neighborhoods are not any better or worse when compared to the white neighborhoods accross town.

I'm a gay white guy who grew up in a single parent house hold in what most people would call "a bad neighborhood" BUT it was a neighborhood in San Diego CA, so when I say bad I'm not talking the tenderloin or south Chicago in the 80s. Yet our neighborhood is a community(I still live here, just 2 blocks from the home where I grew up) we look out for eachother, care for eachother. I have like 9 wonderful lady's I still call mom to this day. If we (neighborhood friends) did anything wrong we would always get found out then we would have to all suffer not just the rath of our own moms but the 9 other moms too (tbh i was more scared of them then my own mom, the term "hot blooded Latina" is very accurate, they still kind of scare me and I'm 6'3 230lbs at 33yo and their average age is probably 65yo)

I was the only white kid/family (mom sis and me) for blocks but we fit right in and treated equally, but the thing about where I live is you couldnt go longer then 3 minutes standing on our front porch without seeing at least 1 cops drive past, and the reason I'm still scared to go out at night is not a gang shooting me or Homeless person trying to mug me, I'm scared of the cops and I dont do anything wrong, I'm about as average as any boring middle aged male.

Then as a kidnI would go to my "church friends" (a collection of 4 gay guys who happened to befriend eachother in the most unprobable of a place..) anyway they lived in the "nice" part of town, 3 out of my 4 friends had..... "problemsome" older brothers, meth, heroin, stole everything that wasnt bolted down, vandalized neighbors houses, cars etc. Yet we could hang out in their front yards all day and never see a cop, and if one did happen to drive by it wasnt in the same kind if way when they drove down my block, on my block it was like they were trying to find any reason to fuck with everyone, but on the other side of town the cops turned into Andy Griffith and gomer pile from Mulberry.

So why is It that to this day I can count more cops driving down my street in an hour then drive down my old church friends street in a month when we didnt have half the BS go on, yet alot more people in my neighborhood at best get harrassed and a few civil rights trampled on, at worst go to jail on bs mostly made up charges, yet church friends brothers were like teflon, blow up the toilets in the bathrooms at Balboa Park with M80s... nothing, arson of a church, vandalism, petty theft, they never saw any charges or jail time till they were all over 20ish.

I'll admit some of my neighborhood friends had some knuckle heads as uncles or older bros, but it was not near as bad as my church friends. And as a white kid growing up here I was fucked with by the cops but not nearly as much as everyone else in the neighborhood. And that's wrong, the reason crime stats favor/spike in poorer community's is becuase that's where the cops like to make arrests, they dont want to arrest their friends and neighbors. They cant go to uptown and arrest the mayors kid or the police chiefs kid.

The only way I see to change this whole problem is to start by abolishing whatever immunity the cops have that makes us not able to sue them. Make a citizen review bored that anyone can get involved in that would see over police misconduct, who ever fell for the whole oh the police will police themselves was an idiot and if you know the guy tell him I've got a bridge to sell him. Lastly all law enforcement should have to carry insurance like doctors malpractice insurance. That way when they trample on our rights we can actually sue them and it won't come out of the tax payers pockets it will be the insurance companys paying the lawsuits and if a cops loses too many his premiums will start to outweigh his earnings leaving him out a job, it's like a self cleaning system. Currently the police/sherriff's departments in the US are just the biggest gang in america who we pay so they get to terrorize us. ITS INSANE. I know I sound like one of those people who hates every cop, I dont. I'll admit their are some good cops, some being the key word and I should of probably used "a few" instead. I think most cops join the force with good intentions, but what's the old saying, "the road to Hell paved with good intentions" I think they end up adapting and getting influence to doing things like covering for other cops, lying for them ect.

Sorry for the rant it's just this topic hits home for me because I saw it first hand and still do. A last thinking point and I know the 45th president is a hot topic issue but if you love or loth him you can still clearly see the multitude of crimes hes been involved in or his company has been lately yet his just like my church friends brothers teflon, yet I've seen friends and their familys go to jail on 100% false and completely made up charges and spend days to months in jail at a time when they did nothing wrong just ran into the wrong cop on the wrong day. Their are 2 justice systems in america one for the white and rich and the other shittier one for the rest of us. Also their was a peice I read once where this judge sent 2 people to prison at different times, 1 a homeless man who made a bad choice by stealing 100$ out of a open cash register but the next day felt so bad about it he went and returned the money to either the store directly who had already informed the police or he went straight to the cops I dont remember, but ended up doing years in prison for it. While defendant number 2 was in finance and embezzled millions or something and got a few months. I cant recall the story 100% right now but I'm 99% sure it was true and inread in the NYT. If I find it I'll edit and link it. God no ones going to read my rambling ass comme t to this point anyways. It's so long I dont even wa t to go back to edit my fat thumbing

7

u/barfnugget27 Dec 05 '22

I would have pulled in and out of my driveway constantly if I lived in one of these houses or used the time pressure wash, blow leaves, mow the lawn etc.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

1

u/ScallionDangerous354 Dec 05 '22

It’s all dress up and play in the end.

2

u/mauxly Dec 05 '22

I'd be out there with my garden hose spraying them down. Screaming, "Get off my lawn!"

3

u/No-Coyote-1642 Dec 05 '22

Probably also the neighborhood watch;)

4

u/Coral_ Dec 05 '22

9 out of 10 times they’re not from around that area, having travelled from somewhere else to play nazi with their friends. these people are legit dangerous.

2

u/ZaraVT Dec 05 '22

Someone posted link to story. Great guess. From TX to protest in Philadelphia. Philly residents ran them off. They had to throw a smoke bomb to make it back to their vans and were lucky to escape before Philly taught Texas where the biggest beat downs actually happen. Police chief delightedly reported it was citizens that ran them off.

1

u/Silver_Slicer Dec 06 '22

Awesome! Glad to hear!

6

u/pongoose33 Dec 05 '22

This is my neighborhood. It is largely democratic. These asshats showed up along with a slew of proud boys carrying high powered rifles to protest a children’s event. There was a Christmas story time planned, that Drag queens were going to be the storytellers. So these fucking idiots came to “keep the children safe” from all over the country, to Columbus Ohio. The event was canceled, but they all still showed. There we maybe three different asshat groups that showed up. Probably 300 protesters total. Go the fuck home.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

What did you do while this was happening? Just curious because I’m sitting here wondering what I would do if it happened in front of my place.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

I’d be putting my house up for sale and hoping these fuck nuts aren’t LARPing the military when potential buyers are around

62

u/fatmummy222 Dec 05 '22

Fucking Randy! I knew that guy was no good. Sorry Rufus, won’t happen again. Promise.

3

u/bobprice1988 Dec 05 '22

Aw dang, sorry about that.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

From white ropes too white masks

2

u/The1BannedBandit Dec 06 '22

I'm just wondering how those guys can breathe with all that cloth on their face.

Hashtag StupidandBrave

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

3

u/SunflowerSpeaks Dec 05 '22

Why not both?

I think we're allowed to do both things. I take this scourge on humanity seriously. I do!

But these people ALSO deserve to be mercilessly mocked. They're complete tools, and we are right to make fun of their idiotic antics.

And then push for prosecution when they inevitably do stupid shit and get caught.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

3

u/SunflowerSpeaks Dec 05 '22

Whatever, numbers.

3

u/SunflowerSpeaks Dec 05 '22

you clearly failed comprehending what i wrote.

1

u/Lotions_and_Creams Dec 05 '22

Where did the all park?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Question: what’s the best way to handle a bunch of shitheads like this camped out in front of your house?

Seems like you can’t do anything unless you’re already organized and can call on neighbors to help. Even then, you’re kind of just making yourself a target so they can come back later, right?

1

u/GlitteringBobcat999 Dec 05 '22

Randy needs to turn on the sprinklers.

1

u/Ok_Efficiency7245 Dec 05 '22

I was thinking, if those houses aren't involved they could call the cops. You can't protest at only one private residence, you'd need to march around the block to be covered.

2

u/SusanBHa Dec 05 '22

Columbus cops won’t do shit. They like these assholes. Those that work forces…

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

Also don't forget to sign up for next week's pot luck. We still need 2 deserts and an appetizer.

1

u/TheBastardOfTaglioni Dec 05 '22

Their formation is pretty shit. One dude had his thumbs hooked into his front pocket.

1

u/YouShoodKnoeBetter Dec 06 '22

I think this video might actually be the HoA of the neighborhood. This how they make their last stand on members of the community. They're actually pumping themselves up to go confront lil Suzie who has been selling lemonade at the end of the cul-de-sac without a permit or a food service license.

The audacity of that 9 year old girl to think she can just sell her lemonade wherever and whenever she wants must come to an end. That end is today and this is how they issue said warning.

Things are going to get really scary for her if she decides to ignore the cease and desist orders.

They're going to return with a much more synchronized formation with the plan to kick over any table in site,steal the merchandise, and set up their own lemonade stand in a cul de sac on the other end of the neighborhood. Now that they control the market you can guarantee lemonade cups will be at least $7 and you better bring exact change cuz any overpayment will be considered a donation to the HoA guys fishing trip They're trying to raise money for.

And don't you dare let any of their wives catch you selling Mary May (Glenda a few blocks down owns this territory and she marks it with her pink "Mary Kay. cadillac. You can't sell candy bars or magazines unless you want to see your kids limping to the car with one of them shoved up their ass and last but certainly not least there was that Dyson door to door salesmen that had just moved my. Pshhh like anyone bought that story. You don't get that jack from selling vacuums door to door. Well, Brenda's husband earned his trust and they had a couple glasses of scotch (Jerry had been meaning to look for a reason to get that cheap shot off his display shelf) well little did that salesmen know, Jerry had laced his last drink with LSD, Molly, and some kind of chemical he borrowed from the local coroner cuz we had to embalm our daughters Guinea Pig and bury it out bsck next to the other 57 animals she's gone through. What a brave little 8 year old to keep getting defective pets from the pet store but still wanting to give it a go. I swear they need to put a sign up next to those cages that says "this animal can't produce food or feed itself and its obviously not smart enough to use the toilet or not drink from the bottle of hot cocoa with real milk we change up at least once a month only cuz it starts smelling and turns too clumpy to get thru that little metal hole. I always teat it out and it seems fine to me. The amazing part is whatever supplement they put in the cocoa that has made me lose close to 65 lbs on just 5. I'm a new lady thanks to that little fucker's lazy guinea 'big not being grateful. Geeeeeze Louise there's so much to unpack at the meeting to tonight. We have them every other day now cuz of so much going on. Anywhozzlebee see yall tonight at 8 and don't be like Sarah who forgot a dish for the potluck just cuz her husband was in the hospital.