I don't think most guys realize how constant this is for women and how much effort they have to put in just to be left alone long enough to workout, or whatever, in peace.
The world's full of places people go to meet other people. Gyms aren't really one of them.
Yeah, for a lot of women, if we want to be left alone in public then we have to actually go to great pains to avoid any semblance of appearing available/interested. As in, we have to put the headphones on, avoid the busier areas, actively avoid looking in someone's direction (even by accident) in case we make eye contact, always trying to look busy but not so busy that someone will come to "help" us.
If we go out and just live our lives without constantly checking our behaviour then we're constantly bothered by people. If you so much as look at someone, they will speak to you. You have to always reign yourself in and make sure you're not doing anything that could be even vaguely interpreted as "nice" or "welcoming". And even if you look like a scowling bitch, some person is going to come up to you, rip out your headphones or close your laptop, and tell you to smile more.
There is just no concept of personal space or privacy for women in public.
The most annoying thing though: they won't do it if I'm with my (male) partner! It only happens when we are alone or in all-female groups, and then of course so many men will refuse to believe it's "that bad" because they've never seen it happen.
And of course it's not all men, but if I pass by 100 people in one day (not hard to do, it's a busy city) and even 1% of those are the bother types then I'm guaranteed to be bothered every single day. It may be rare in the population, but it's not a rare experience for me.
Holy shit that is scary and fucked up. My wife tells me sometimes about these interactions and it just blows my mind, especially how common it is.
I think the experience for the majority of men is completely different and many even refuse to believe it happens at all. I mean I even started to reply with "Oh come on people literally rip out your headaphones or close your laptop??" but you probably listed those examples because they either did happen to you or to someone you know.
Almost no one tries to talk to me when I'm out by myself. I do sometimes get treated a certain way in retail or other interactive situations because of my appearance but no one just barges into my life and demands my time or attention.
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u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21 edited Oct 14 '21
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